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Things got a whole lot more complicated then I thought they would


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There's this girl I've been talking to for about a month and I've been having a very hard time just trying to spend some time with her. Even though she's saying all these things she likes about me she keeps flaking on plans. She really opened up to me on last week and I was really starting to trust her and me and her got a lot closer faster. But on Friday we had plans to go to a fair at 6 and she just didn't show and I couldn't get a hold of her she's pulled things like this before but she still won't talk to me. Frustrated as humanly possible I decided to talk to a close friend of hers and he told me she was in an abusive relationship so she puts up walls and has a hard time trusting guys. He promised to talk to her for me but I'm not sure if it's working out it's like even when she feels something towards me she just tries to shove me away. Is there any way for her to really trust me and know I won't hurt her and that I really care about her? I'm a little stuck:sad:

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Uh oh. I'm having flashbacks to my first ex.


She and I met online, and she had a very hard time trusting guys as well (though in her case it was because her dad abandoned her family very suddenly). She also flaked on plans early on, and did a similar warm-cold "I like you but still I'm going to push you away" thing. So many warning signs, but I cared about her and wanted to pursue her. It took three months of persistence on my part to get her to really go out with me, and then our entire relationship was drama-packed and centered around healing her hurts and making me into the man she wanted me to be. It wasn't pleasant, and ended pretty catastrophically.


So anyway, even if you like her, I just wouldn't go there. Sounds like you're a good guy, and that you genuinely want to help her. Helping people in need is a very good and admirable thing! However, it's not really your place right now. She's not your steady girlfriend, fiancee, or wife. She needs to heal on her own, or with the help of a therapist.


You deserve a good girl, one who won't give you the runaround. Trust me on this one - when you find the right sort of girl, it will just work. You'll want to be with her, and she'll want to be with you. And, most importantly, you will trust each other.

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I almost need that kind of thing to happen, I'm stubborn and if my mind's stuck on her it's stuck I'd be happy if I can go out with her even if it's difficult I've gotta try my best to handle it right now I can't seem to get my head around it right now until things are actually resolved in some way

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