bebop Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Saw her again last night, she was out with her fella but came to talk to me when he'd gone toilet. I asked for closure on the whole situation, it's been about 6 weeks since they were official and I needed to know where I stood. she said she was going to be honest with me and say that things were starting to annoy her about him but stopped before going into detail because she didn't want to give me any false hope, feelings are still there for me but she's wanting to see where things are going as she has feelings for him too. Her BF then called but she didn't answer the phone. We repeated the convo then after a hug she left. I need to make her see what she's loosing I'm pretty sure the relationship is a RB as it happened less than 2 week after we split. Do I tell her I'm going NC this has had good results in the 7 and 5 days ive dont it previously but this was without telling her I'm doing NC to move on. or do it just continue NC again just be strong n wait for her to contact me this time, but I want to stay in the picture thou!!!
BONO Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I would continue full NC. Actions always speak louder than words. She has a BF. Currently, she is having her cake and eating it. You are potentially her back up guy - her number 2. Until you hear the words, " Im sorry Ive made a mistake and would like to talk about getting back " or words to that effect, Elvis has left the building !
lastshot20 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I am with Bono on this one. You don't even have to announce anything to her. Just drop out of her world and work on yourself, work on your emotions. If she is really being annoyed by the guy that's a lost point for him!, but not a win for you yet. As far as we know , she could be just saying this to make you feel better. If you want her back, Don't remain the Picture!!!!! you're going to end up giving her whatever she is not getting from that fella, basically getting the best of both world. thus she will not "Realize" What she is losing Talk is cheap! believe what you see, not what you hear.
doiiiieeezie Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 You don't need to say: HEY IM GOING NC!. You won't hear those magical words right away of "im sorry, i messed up, take me back"!. Just simply vanish.
ForumGuy Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I agree....go NC unnannounced. If it were me, I would be done with her forever because I know I could never get back together with an ex who had been with someone else in the meantime. I understand everyone doen't feel this way though. That guy must have been on the toilet for awhile and calling from the toilet? No need to answer that..lol She instilled hope, whether false or not and intentional or not, by telling you the other guy was starting to annoy her.
ForumGuy Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Sorry to put it this way, but if you've done NC for these short periods (5 and 7 days) and then responded to her contacts when she has a BF, she knows she has you on a string anytime she wants.
bebop Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 Sorry to put it this way, but if you've done NC for these short periods (5 and 7 days) and then responded to her contacts when she has a BF, she knows she has you on a string anytime she wants. She didn't contact me, I text her. both times I broke NC she replied within 5mins something she never did even when we were dating. It's a complicated issue that's why i'm still in the picture the thngs that annoy her have been their from the start of the relationship and have also been mentioned my a mutual friend. We were never in a serious relationship, dated in december then in march/april both times feelings from each side were missing. December she wasn't interested and march/april I was scared of getting hurt again so pushed her away. Then she got with the new guy within a few weeks, We've seen each other a few times while she was with the new guy even one night when he was also out an there was a risk of him seeing us. What do I do when I see her in town? somewhere we always go and theres only 2 or 3 bars to go!!!
doiiiieeezie Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Find a new bar, and new activities. This is a time to make yourself scarce because it's a game you play with her, and she follows suit. Do you want to be with her really or is it because she finally pulled the plug and went another direction?
bebop Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 I do want to be with her, I never really stopped having feelings towards her, pretty much straight after I told her to move on I was doubting my decision and wasn't sure if it was just the sex I was missing so I waited a week or 2 to make sure. By the time I had told her the way I had felt it was too late and she had started to see the new guy quite seriously. I don't do anything else but think about the mistake I made letting her go, I try not to think about her but everything links back to it. Music, Drinks, TV shows got it quite bad to say we were never together really. If she is happy with the new guy why don't she just give me closure that's all I'm asking! I can't contact her anymore because I've deleted all numbers and even her best mates number. So either way Its NC till she contacts me. I also dnt want her to finish her relationship prematurely as this will leave doubts in her and my mind. I'd like the relationship to run its course just wish it'd happen faster then we can try again or maybe finally she'd give me closure.
bebop Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 also I am moving on, and started hanging out with mates more often. I feel in a good place I just want to know where I stand.
ForumGuy Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 ....why don't she just give me closure......Because you have continued to be a willing participant in her game. 5 and 7 days of NC and then contacting her is nothing more than a game to try to get her to come back to you, proven by your comment "got good results". Hopefully this is water under the bridge and you now, in your own words do "NC till she contacts me". Stay strong, nothing good will come out of continuing playing with her unless it is just the sex.
bebop Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 Because you have continued to be a willing participant in her game. 5 and 7 days of NC and then contacting her is nothing more than a game to try to get her to come back to you, proven by your comment "got good results". Hopefully this is water under the bridge and you now, in your own words do "NC till she contacts me". Stay strong, nothing good will come out of continuing playing with her unless it is just the sex. But the good results surely show good feelings towards me, or is it more of a confirmation for her that she still has me under a spell. it's only been a few weeks into their relationship so the honeymoon period is still in play i'd say. Just hate waiting not knowing what to do, can't do anything else but get on with life now!
faithful14 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Don't announce NC to her, just do it. Eventually, she will get it.
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