Meken Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 If any of you read my other threads or posts you may know by now that I have completely fallen for a Guy I met a couple of months ago. K and I have become extremley close and I can easily say he is my best friend. I never really had a friend that was there for me like he is nor someone that has opened up to me like he has. Oh and I am male and 20 years old. I don't want to tell him my attraction towards him yet. Lately I have been thinking that if K and I are truly this close he would be their for me. If not then I guess we are not as close as I thought. So can anyone please give me advise on coming out to him. Also to note I have bad anxiety, when I am around K he makes me feel comfortable enough so it ain't as bad but telling him may make it a bit worse. Link to comment
rockerstar Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I don't think you should call it a "coming out". Its who you are and who you've always been, so embrace it. I'd just take the same course of action any heterosexual couple would take- ask him out on a date. But maybe make it something fun (rather than the usual sit down dinner, unless you're happy to do that). He'll know your intentions then. And if he's not happy about it, you've got to decide whether you'll be happy to remain friends or not. I say that because sometimes remaining around someone you like more than you like them, can be really frustrating and depressive. Link to comment
lukeb Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 You're mistaken strong feelings for closeness, you're actually not close but you really want to be. In a sense you would really not be losing that much if he completely freaks out and never wants to see you again. What you'd be losing is the fantasy or the idea of having him as a boyfriend. I'm not saying you don't have any strong emotions and feeling towards this guy, it is clear that you do. It is just that it is all in your head, this is not something that is shared between the two of you. Keep your expectations low would be my advice. Coming out under these circumstances can have unexpected outcomes, it is even quite possible he might freak out on your even if he is gay. Link to comment
Meken Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 @lukeb You kinda confussed me lol K and I are pretty much inseparable and some of the things he has told me are pretty big. I have been physically attracted to him from the start but I wasn't really emotionally attracted to him for a while after getting to know him a lot more so maybe you can elaborate a bit more on what you mean and on top of that K talked me in to going to the hot springs last night so I am at work and have yet to sleep @rockerstar I don't really want to ask him on a date yet just want to come out to him and see how he takes that first. I know its something that I should embrace but its hard for me when I already feel like I am being judged as it is Link to comment
TwilightLurker Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 If you commit yourself to telling him how you feel, then you need to be prepared and okay with the possible outcome that he may reject you and even if you two remain friends, your friendship will never be quite the same. Do you really feel you're at the point where you must tell him? I mean, I still think the best course of action is to continue to develop and deepen your friendship with him, and if he's gay and if he likes you, then the closer you two become, the easier it will be for each of you to open up to each other. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I think no matter what your orientation, you run the risk of losing a friend when you confess your (unrequited) love. I think your crush is one-sided, so if you're willing to roll the dice and lose him as a friend, then go for it. Link to comment
Meken Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 @TwilightLurker I am prepared to be shut down its kinda my thing to expect the worse. I probably won't tell him right away but I definetly want to tell him sometime soon. basically I don't want to hide who I am anymore not gonna lie but it gets kinda depressing Link to comment
lukeb Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 @lukeb You kinda confussed me lol K and I are pretty much inseparable and some of the things he has told me are pretty big. I have been physically attracted to him from the start but I wasn't really emotionally attracted to him for a while after getting to know him a lot more so maybe you can elaborate a bit more on what you mean and on top of that K talked me in to going to the hot springs last night so I am at work and have yet to sleep Well you did say you only met a couple of months ago - so you're really only starting to get to know each other. Hopefully it will turn out well for ya. Link to comment
Meken Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 @lukeb O.K. I know what you mean. Everything is going great for us right now it he is super down tonight so I gotta try to cheer him up. He is talking about moving to Georgia with his sister who he doesn't really know. So basically I gotta try to tell him how much he means to me without sounding (gay?) I really don't know how to word it right now Link to comment
TwilightLurker Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Be supportive of his wishes, but say to him you doubt you'll find a friend as good as him if he decides to move. Like I said in my other reply to you in the other thread, if he's talking about moving, then, and I really am sorry to say this, he probably doesn't have feelings for you. Link to comment
Meken Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 He explained to me what it was all about. He just basically was down because of work and his familly who were litterally 2 blocks away just got off work and blew him off on his lunch. Then he was saying he was feeling down cause when he tried to call me to come up on his lunch I passed out and didn't answer his call right away. So basically just a bad day this morning and last night after work he was fine thank god lol. I was planning on telling him how amazing of a friend he was and how there is no way in hell that I would want him to move, but at the same time if he was serious about moving I would want him to do what's best for himself Link to comment
Meken Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 OH then last night I had a nightmare might sound stupid but my house caught fire, then I. Almost was killed in the car while K was driving then my whole family left me by myself the K left. When I woke up K was gone bit literally within seconds of me waking up K texted me letting me know were he was. I just thought that it was odd how I had a dream of him leaving then in seconds of me waking up he txted Link to comment
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