Jimmydooks Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Starting hanging out with this girl I worked with about 6 months ago. Right off the bat I tell her how I feel and she tells me she is not ready for a relationship right now. She is 21 and I am 29. Through the first 5 months she was going through a ruff patch where she got a DUI and was only allowed to drive to work and school, we hung out non stop and she has told me numerous times that she really likes me and I would be the first guy she would date when she is ready for a relationship. I get the feeling that she is not ready because of her previous 2 relationships where both guys cheated on her. The one was the first guy she ever had sex with. He cheated on her with a girl and he ended up marrying that girl and having a kid with her. So I'm guessing that * * * * ed her up pretty bad hence why she wants to stay single. During the 5 months I pursued her heavily which i know is the wrong thing to do but I couldn't help myself. We have gotten in a few heated arguments where I said some pretty mean things to her but yet we still remain to be good friends. About a month ago she got her license back and an old female friend moved back into town. She starts hanging around with this girl and her friends a lot which I don't have a problem with. They have been out at bars 3 or 4 times over the last month (which I haven't been too happy about but I have held my own and haven't gotten too pissed off about it). When she goes out to bars she never invites me which goes completely against the norm when she used to invite me everywhere. So I message her telling her that I don't have a problem with her not inviting me I just want to know if I did something to piss her off and what was the reason she never invites me. She tells me Its because she doesn't want me getting irritated If I see her dancing with other guys. Over the last month since her friend came back in town and she has been doing her own thing I have lost a little interest. I have completely stopped pursuing her. I haven't been texting her. I don't respond to her texts as fast as I used to. I haven't been paying as much attention to her at work and I haven't been asking her to come hang out. I have tried my best to stay in a good mood when I'm around her also and haven't acted like an ass to her either. So tonight I'm playing online poker with her female friend that moved back recently. During that time she changes her facebook picture to a picture of me and her. She than joins our poker table to wait till our tournament is over so she can join the next one with us and she starts talking to me more than she has been doing in chat about this and that and how she wants to play in the next tournament. After my tournament is over I leave cause I was tired of playing without saying good bye. About 30 min later she texts me telling me she just went to go pick up her dad from a bar because he was drunk. I wait about 10 or 15 minutes and respond back with something simple saying "at least he had a DD". During the time of me waiting to text her back she posts this on facebook. "I'm just gonna stop caring, easiest way to do it." Which is unusual for her because she never lets anyone know when she is upset. So of course I had to ask her what was wrong? And text her a few times asking her what was wrong. She won't tell me whats wrong. She just tells me she don't feel good and is going to bed. Do you think all of that crap that happened tonight has to do with me not paying as much attention? Should I be there for her if she is down and depressed or just continue what I have been doing over the last month? I'm still interested in something more with her even though I haven't been acting that way recently. She is a great girl who I am very attracted to and love hanging out with. Link to comment
DN Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 How much of her interest in hanging out with you while she lost her license had to do with you doing the driving? Link to comment
Jimmydooks Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Not much. We always would meet where we worked and hangout out in the parking lot after we both got off work and went places on our off days.. We still hungout the same amount of time even when she got her license back. We haven't been hanging out as much since she has been hanging out with her female friend and I haven't been trying to get her to hang out with me as much. She always made sure to pay for her own stuff also. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Quit wasting your time here. She has had 6 months to get interested enough to date you, and she hasn't. Many times people will say things like 'i'm not ready for a relationship yet' which is a pleasant way of saying they don't want to date you, but don't want to tell you outright they don't want to date you so they say 'not yet'... if she finds someone she is really interested, she will jump on it. She's also significantly younger than you and if what you want is to find a partner she may be too young for that. Many people her age spend more time with friends partying and having fun than they do on a relationship or dating anyone seriously. She also may not consider you appropriate as a date because she sees you as too much older than she is. She may feel OK hanging out with you as a friend, but wants someone closer to her own age to date. btw, the fact that you've been 'replaced' by a female friend shows what your function was to her... you were a friend she liked to hang out with, but if she has others she'd prefer to hang out with, she does. So she's seeing you as a friend and not a guy she intends to date. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 She clearly said she's not ready for a BF, but you're acting like a BF. I wouldn't do that. I'd just leave her alone for a while, and if she's interested in pursuing you, she'll do that. Link to comment
Jimmydooks Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Today at work she was flirting with me hard core. I did not do much flirting back. She asked me if i would go pick her up some Ice cream and I told her no and this sad look came over her face. Like I said I'm done pursuing her and if she wants me she knows where to find me. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Today at work she was flirting with me hard core. I did not do much flirting back. She asked me if i would go pick her up some Ice cream and I told her no and this sad look came over her face. Like I said I'm done pursuing her and if she wants me she knows where to find me. Good for you. Ice cream isn't heavy. Let her pick some up for you. Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.2d93ce2472f26b01a1e185382ba0b64e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.