It hurts without her

[konww002]

Recently my girlfriend broke up with me after a 3 year relationship. She is a photography enthusiast whom enjoys going to different countries to take picture with her photography school lecturer, along with new group of people she meets in her trips. One week after she had return home from her Indonesian trip , I noticed something has changed within her. She was not so attentive to me as she used to be before she left . I later on confronted her and she said that she has found her new self during this trip mentioned and that she loved the attention being showered onto her by the other group members, be it male or female. She said that she could not be with me anymore as she has no more love for me and she does not want to see me anymore. She said that she wanted to move on an be an independent single. She also commented and I am unreliable as I change jobs very frequent and she does not see that I am dependable and stable enough for her. What makes things worse is that I am 28 and have just taken up a diploma in baking course which makes me unemployed, and funded by my parents. She sees me as being too dependent on my family and not of a man enough to stand up for myself, plus, no career. However, I took up the course as I have felt that it is my calling in life, and that I could make a living out of it.

 

I admit to her that the past was bumpy and now, since I have found my passion, I would stick to it. To her, I am afraid it was not a good enough reason. Also, she said that travel photography is her calling in life and that she will do that as much as she could because it makes her happy. I told her that she always has been and always will have the freedom to travel as I have never stopped her from doing what she is passionate about. She has not been thinking about me the slightest even we were still dating when she was out of the country and she does not want to commit herself in a relationship at the moment. She does not even want anybody waiting for her to come home from trips as she said there are a lot of her new friends who would offer her rides to and fro the airport terminal.

 

I felt very hurt when she told me all that. Although she said she does not love me anymore, I choose to believe she still does and she is telling herself not to love me. I was so desperate that I begged her to come back to me but it did not work. She thinks it is for the best and I shall not be pitied because she said that she respects my pride. I told her pride means nothing if I could not have her. I got my stuff from her place and now everything is back to mine. I have known her family for a while now and they advised me to give let her be and let time work things out between us. I suddenly felt empty inside. I got word that she is very happy now and has made plans on more traveling. I met up with her two days ago for coffee because I missed her too much. I was a little awkward. She said she needs time to be away from me and work things out herself. And that she doe not want to see me anymore. I told her that I am still sticking to my guns and willing to wait for her and I do not care how much time it takes. I mentioned to her that I will wait for every of her return from overseas. I felt like I am stuck and I am feeling lost without her around me. Till now, I still love her and somehow, I do not feel any anger and I just want to better myself in order to get her back.

 

I still occasionally text her but cannot seem to connect with her and feels like she is running away from me. How should a move on from here. I miss everything about her. Is there a way to work things out and get her back into my arms again?