Could this work?

[shygirl1986]

One year and a half ago I moved to a different province for work. I started going out with a guy I met there, we eventually moved in together. We had a special bond but we were both major introverts so we were usually pretty quiet around each other. We both started arguing a lot and we were both having career issues. He wanted to move back to his hometown to be closer to his mother and he eventually wanted to go to college in a city a couple of hours away. I didn't want to stay in that city alone as I didn't have many friends or emotional support there so I decided to move back to my home province. We agreed upon a long distance relationship and we definitely needed some time apart. We had a special bond and he helped me out with a lot of things but living together with the stress of work and finances and us both being major introverts eventually took it's toll on us. I had my doubts at first but he really wanted this to work and told me that we both had to go into this with determination and love. We have been going out for one year and I just moved back to my home province.

 

Here's the deal, we're both going to work for a year and get our life in order and then go to school for two years with me eventually moving back to his province after we're done school so we're talking approx. 3 years apart. I'm a really insecure girl and I don't know if I can live like this. I wasn't too sure about the whole long distance thing at first but he told me that if you really love someone then distance shouldn't be the matter and we really needed time to progress and become individuals. He said that he eventually wants to marry me. It's just so hard though after living together for so long, I feel so depressed and sad. I'm trying to do things to get my mind off of this but I feel so sad. It would be different if we were apart for one year or less but it's probably going to be around 3 years with visits here and there when we have the money. Also, there's a bit of a communication barrier on the phone because of our shyness and anxiety. We communicate fine in person and e-mail, it's just on the phone. Even when we talk about common interests it's kind of awkward. It feels weird to be back home without him around and I'm so depressed. How can I deal with this, what are some things we can talk about on the phone and do you think this could really work?

[Xylitol]

I personally would just go back with him, but both of you need to create more time for eachother, you can't go back to the past to your own hometown, i think its important that aknowledge your own emotions, and that you talk about your emotions to him, this in order to settle down and stop being insecure,since there is no way to be secure about anything in the future you can just go for gold in your life, base your life on mathematical principles that are fundamental as much now as they are in the future, that's your only basis to rely on in life.

[shygirl1986]

Yeah, the problem is I had no friends or support there, just him. We based our whole life on each other and basically smothered ourselves in our introverted ways relying on each other. Now that I'm back though, I feel like I have made a mistake but that's probably because we spent every minute of our life together. I can't stop crying and when I try to do something to distract me I can't even smile or stay focused on what I'm doing, I don't even have a desire to see any of my old friends...well for the most part. I know I have issues to deal with. Should I try staying here around my friends and family for one year and see how that goes and then possibly moving back to the same province he's in and possibly go to school there even if it's the school that's 3 hours away from him and I don't know anyone there? I mean we were considering going to the same school at one point but his school didn't offer the program I wanted to take and I didn't want to stay in the city alone with no friends or family especially with my history of anxiety and depression. To be honest I feel like I don't belong anywhere not in my original home province and not in the province he's in, not until I get my life sorted out anyway...