Dear Men, What makes you notice a woman in a crowd?

[JenniferG]

Please tell me what is it about a woman which makes her stand out when there are a lot of people around. I am referring to someone you have not seen before. Is it a sexy outfit? a friendly looking / aproachable demeaner? or a preferance for her facial feature / body type? Or something else? I know it can be a combo of all these things but what is the #1 thing for you.

 

Im asking because men rarely approach / show interest in me. I have tried to be more outgoing and smile more without being fake. I have improved my wardrobe although I dont dress revealing. I have tried differant make up and hair styles. I believe I am atleast slightly above average attractiveness. I have clear skin, natural colored hair and no fake tan and light make up so I believe I look young and fresh and I am size zero so thats not the issue. And I know I definatly do not come off as snobby because not only has no one ever said that to me but I know myself and I know thats not even in me

 

Oh ya I am 28 so no teen answers. Im looking for 18+

[90_hour_sleep]

energy. is she on the same wavelength? personally...it has nothing to do with sensory perceptions when it comes to someone i'm really interested in.

 

what kind of 'crowds' are we talking here? a crowd of friends...peers...strangers? maybe it makes a difference. if you're not attracting people into your life...maybe it's because you're not surrounded by people that would be attracted to you. does that make any sense? but if you surround yourself with like-minded individuals...people that are on the same general wavelength...perhaps there'd be more to speak of in terms of attraction potential.

[resilient7]

It's a bit of everything for me.I find height to be attractive when it comes to noticing a girl.I don't mean just tall but the way she carries herself,her walk.and like 90 said "her energy".you sound like a catch maybe your missing a small component that you have overlooked? Where do you go frequently?

[GettingBetter]

Well, for what it's worth, I think you sound very attractive.

 

It's hard to say what I specifically find attractive, though, because I've been attracted to a number of different types of women. Also, it's not just one thing, it's the complete package.

 

Based on how you describe yourself, there's a certain look that I absolutely fall in love with, and that's:

* either a plain dress or plain skirt somewhere between knee-length and mid-thigh,

* if a skirt then a plain shirt/blouse,

* a light tan,

* a thin or fit -- but not too fit -- body,

* little-to-no makeup,

* hair roughly shoulder length, naturally colored, worn up or down, and

* nice, plain shoes that are any color except gold

 

(I'm a fan of black, tan-and-white or white clothes on women with light skin... But, I'm also colorblind.

 

But, I've liked women with shorter hair, curly hair, straight hair, or women who wore a lot of makeup, women with very dark skin, or even women who wore gold shoes. I don't think my first girlfriend ever wore anything besides jeans.

 

When I look at a woman, I want to see that she's composed, but that the wheels are turning -- thinking about either her surroundings, or the conversation at hand, or whatever else. I don't want to see her yapping away on her cell phone, or twirling her hair mindlessly. I, personally, like to see a few wrinkles around her eyes, or what little makeup she has around her eyes -- some sort of indicator that she has real emotions, but hides them behind her composed demeanor. I want there to be some real depth to her, without her being overly mysterious.

 

Unlike most, I don't really care whether she's smiling. I mean, obviously I think people look good when they're smiling, but smiling is just an expression. That's all.

 

But, I may be in the minority, because a lot of the women I've found to be exceptionally beautiful, my friends have found to be exceptionally plain.

[Yaz]

Boobs. Breathing? Men only want one thing really. It's just whether they're willing to stick around and do it with you for a prolonged period.

 

I reckon it doesn't matter what makes you stand out. The richest relationships are borne from something more than immediate physical attraction.

[90_hour_sleep]

Boobs. Breathing? Men only want one thing really. It's just whether they're willing to stick around and do it with you for a prolonged period.

 

I reckon it doesn't matter what makes you stand out. The richest relationships are borne from something more than immediate physical attraction.

 

c'mon yaz. boobs? that's a bit OBVIOUS...isn't it? you always struck me as a bit more insightful than that.

 

so...you reckon that the only thing that ever stands out in a man's eyes is some sort of physical component? you don't believe that we're capable of seeing something else? something less tangible?

 

reach beyond the realm of 'jaded' yaz...and see if there's any other answer...

 

although...i'll concede that it's very possible that you're right...and that insightfulness has no place in this thread. boobs do have certain power afterall.

[ferna3069]

well the boob part is kinda sexist. it depends on what a guy is looking for. both male and female are equal in this. like women that look for muscles in a guy . we are the same in a way. if a guy is looking for something serios he is going to look for a smile and a good personality. by that i mean dont walk like u think u own the world lol. although some guys like that. but usualy a smile and a good attitude would do it.

[Yaz]

c'mon yaz. boobs? that's a bit OBVIOUS...isn't it? you always struck me as a bit more insightful than that.

 

so...you reckon that the only thing that ever stands out in a man's eyes is some sort of physical component? you don't believe that we're capable of seeing something else? something less tangible?

 

reach beyond the realm of 'jaded' yaz...and see if there's any other answer...

 

although...i'll concede that it's very possible that you're right...and that insightfulness has no place in this thread. boobs do have certain power afterall.

 

I think my point was that men notice what is primal (like boobs) immediately, it is only after time that people come to notice one another as individuals.

 

Just because you are immediately physically attractive, and men approach you, does not mean you are successful in relationships. It doesn't mean men like you more. Also, there are no hard and fast rules for what 'men like', except for boobs and breathing and the bits down below...

 

Women shouldn't be so concerned about being 'immediately' attractive, lighting up a room, being the centre of attention, being ogled when they walk in... it's often worse than just being part of the crowd. To get noticed, sometimes you have to go unnoticed.

[90_hour_sleep]

I think my point was that men notice what is primal (like boobs) immediately, it is only after time that people come to notice one another as individuals.

 

Just because you are immediately physically attractive, and men approach you, does not mean you are successful in relationships. It doesn't mean men like you more. Also, there are no hard and fast rules for what 'men like', except for boobs and breathing and the bits down below...

 

Women shouldn't be so concerned about being 'immediately' attractive, lighting up a room, being the centre of attention, being ogled when they walk in... it's often worse than just being part of the crowd. To get noticed, sometimes you have to go unnoticed.

 

thanks for explaining. that actually makes alot of sense.

 

imagine the same is true when we swap genders as well.

[Sparkly Eyes]

so...you reckon that the only thing that ever stands out in a man's eyes is some sort of physical component? you don't believe that we're capable of seeing something else? something less tangible?

 

reach beyond the realm of 'jaded' yaz...and see if there's any other answer...

 

I don't think most men are capable of that, not at the very start anyway. And I don't blame them because I'm the same. If I walk into a room full of men, it's not someone's smile or whatever that makes me notice them right away, but rather their conventional attractiveness.

[90_hour_sleep]

I don't think most men are capable of that, not at the very start anyway. And I don't blame them because I'm the same. If I walk into a room full of men, it's not someone's smile or whatever that makes me notice them right away, but rather their conventional attractiveness.

 

what if you were in a room full of conventionally attractive men. what then?

[Sparkly Eyes]

what if you were in a room full of conventionally attractive men. what then?

 

Then I'd probably have tears of happiness in my eyes and ask them if they'll be ok with being one of the men in my harem.

 

Ok, on a serious note, I'd probably ask them to get naked so I have all the information before deciding.

[90_hour_sleep]

Then I'd probably have tears of happiness in my eyes and ask them if they'll be ok with being one of the men in my harem.

 

Ok, on a serious note, I'd probably ask them to get naked so I have all the information before deciding.

 

boobs and dongs. nail in the coffin for the 'argument' i was having with another user earlier. nature prevails. if it is nature. not sure i'm fully convinced that nature's acting alone on this one. i'm sure It has an accomplice...a humanly conceived accomplice.

 

whatever. i like your candor, sparkly. i'd probably be EXACTLY the same in that situation. bonus points for honesty.

 

and by the way...your signature is fantastic. i've been reminding myself of those words daily.

[Sparkly Eyes]

boobs and dongs. nail in the coffin for the 'argument' i was having with another user earlier. nature prevails. if it is nature. not sure i'm fully convinced that nature's acting alone on this one. i'm sure It has an accomplice...a humanly conceived accomplice.

 

whatever. i like your candor, sparkly. i'd probably be EXACTLY the same in that situation. bonus points for honesty.

 

and by the way...your signature is fantastic. i've been reminding myself of those words daily.

 

lol, well not just their dongs, but also everything else. We like bums too you know. Your scenario just sounded exciting cause it never quite happened to me like that before and I imagined no woman was in the room either, in which case I'd probably be too excited to want to choose one man and would want them all, lol.

 

Yeah, I fell in love with it when I read it, so true.

[90_hour_sleep]

lol, well not just their dongs, but also everything else. We like bums too you know. Your scenario just sounded exciting cause it never quite happened to me like that before and I imagined no woman was in the room either, in which case I'd probably be too excited to want to choose one man and would want them all, lol.

 

Yeah, I fell in love with it when I read it, so true.

 

well...i aim to please! lol...now you've got me thinking about such scenario. and it seems like you've imagined that they're basically at your disposal? like it really just comes down to a choice? maybe the world is the same...we've just imposed limitations on ourselves that inhibit us from seeing things like that. i'm doing an experiment tomorrow. i'm going to pretend that the world is my own personal room full of attractive (on all levels) women. i'm excited!!

 

love when word-love happens. such a nice feeling.

[reboundstudent]

Nudity!

 

Serious answer: I'm a woman, but a guy who seems to be making people around him laugh usually draws my attention. Hilarious guys are the best. I've heard groups are intimidating for men, so the reverse of this might be: having a somewhat large group of people around you that seem to appreciate your humor/charisma, and then you breaking away to get a drink/pretend to fiddle with your phone/inspect some "interesting" piece of art on the wall, and so on, giving the guy the chance to catch you alone.

[Stay_home]

Sometimes it's just a feeling you get. It's hard to describe....

 

What I usually look for is someone who has a friendly and approachable demeanor. I like smiles, I like professionalism and business-minded people, good humor and someone that understands the value of a dollar.

[timlondon]

The kind of conventional sexy stuff which makes me immediately think "hot" - boobs, sexy clothing, that kind of stuff - is completely different from what I find attractive for relationship purposes. Maybe I'm just a bit less "visual" than other guys but I'm after someone who's smart, adventurous, up for a laugh and who I click with. Of course I've got to be physically attracted to them but once that baseline level of attraction is reached, personality is the no.1 factor.

[StrawberryYogurt]

When she's cute and wears glasses, and looks like a person of good character and depth. I don't know, I just have a certain type.

[gg321]

The way a woman would just carry herself in general.. A lady who smiles alot, likes to talk and basically whos approachable. Dress sense is also a factor.. i wouldnt approach a girl who dressed somewhat ' * * * * ty' cause that isnt my kind of thing. Quiet revealing and yet still classy does exsist!

[tiredofvampires]

When she's cute and wears glasses, and looks like a person of good character and depth. I don't know, I just have a certain type.

 

I tried to rep this, but have to spread it around more first, Strawberry.

 

Just as well. I mean, it doesn't give advice. It's just a post I liked. Out of the ordinary. No bias whatsoever. Haha.

 

Well, I can't answer to this OP really, because I'm not a guy. But I'd say as a woman, while first impressions matter, I'd be a fool to go on that alone. What is it someone said about books and their covers?

 

The #1 thing that makes a guy stand out in a crowd to me would be what comes out of his mouth and how. Which usually doesn't occur in a crowd situation (and if it does, oftentimes that's not a positive). So liking what I see initially does not determine anything I do. Handsome men are a dime a dozen.

 

Wait. There's one possible other thing. Eyes. If he makes eye contact with me, what I pick up there might steer me one way or the other. But there again, it's a type of communication by then.

[Shnoodle]

There's one possible other thing. Eyes. If he makes eye contact with me, what I pick up there might steer me one way or the other. But there again, it's a type of communication by then.

 

I agree on this note, it works for both genders. It's part of my job to be approachable at work, to make eye contact and smile with the people I come accross. It's such an ingrained habit, I still do it outside of work.. and I find more men initiate conversation afterwards.