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should i break up with him? didnt care i was in hospital!


ut804

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ok so I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now. Ive posted about him before, how we dated 8 years ago back in highschool for 2 weeks. we got reconnected through an online dating site and began dating again in april.

The first few weeks went amazing. he seemed head over heals for me. he did so much, texted me often, went out of his way to do things for me, complimented me, etc. BUT it seems like ever since I agreed to be his girlfriend, he seems to be trying a lot less. he doesnt text me as often and only wants to see me once a week. I've confronted him about his behavior and he just said he was comfortable in the relationship.

 

ANYWAY, the past week he has gotten me really angry. After work one day last week I was crossing the street and a bicycle went through the red light and slammed into me full speed. I was knocked uncounciuos. Blood was everywhere and the police and ambulence were called. I spent 4 days in the hospital! I fractured my skull and almost had to get brain surgery, I fracted my nose, and I pulled something in my neck. I was on all these pain medications, had to get several CT scans, several x-rays, and an MRI scan. My blood pressure got really low, I couldnt eat, I was hooked up to a blood pressure machine, I had an IV needle with saline going through me, these things on my legs to massage them to prevent blood clots, I have to wea this neck brace, etc. OK so you get the point.

 

Now my boyfriend didn't really text or call me when I was in the hospital. He didn't visit me either. I would text him and tell him what happened and he didn't really seem to care. I think he only texted me once saying "whats up". So anyway I got out of the hospital. I saw him for the first time yesterday in nearly 2 weeks. He basically said he didn't think me being in the hospital was a big deal. He said I needed to get over it; that I was OK. He said I needed "thicker skin" and to "move on from what happened". He even said it was kinda my fault (which it wasn't) that I should of reacted faster. He asked if I had some sort of calcium defiency if I fractured my skull. Now of course I'm really upset over this! All of my friends sent me flowers, balloons and cards and its like he doesn't care.

Then he seemed bored at my house yesterday. Then he blamed it on having a bad day. I have this feeling he might break up with me because he mentioned we didn't have much in common. I flat out asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said he likes me but we dont have much in common and he has to think about it (!?). i mean he says he cares about me and adores me and was kissing me yesterday, but i cant get over what he said???

 

 

UGH SHOULD I JUST END IT?

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Ummmm...a skull fracture is a pretty serious thing.

 

Yes, you should break up with him. If he thinks you need to "grow a thicker skin" because you're upset over fracturing your skull, he's a complete idiot. You could have been killed.

 

Yes, please break up with him. There is no excuse, save for him being in the hospital himself, that he couldn't have visited you at least once. And his comments about the whole thing are just unbelievable.

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I am so sorry for what you went through. How your bf behaved would be a dealbreaker for me -easy one to decide. When you posted about him in the past you seemed caught up in the romance -infatuated - nothing wrong with that just that it shouldn't shock you that you weren't yet seeing the real person. You can do better, much better.

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First of all, I'm so sorry you've had to go through this horrendous ordeal, and I hope you mend swiftly and well.

 

Your guy's behaviour is absolutely breathtaking ... I can't believe someone would treat a friend or colleague like this, let alone their girlfriend.

 

You certainly need to 'move on from what happened' - by which, I mean from being with a guy who can't be bothered to see you when you were seriously injured. I'm sure you haven't got a lot in common - I'm guessing that you have normal human compassion and love, for a start.

 

He's shown you very clearly who he is. Please, please, leave this heartless, insensitive little boy behind.

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Based on the hospital thing alone, I'd say that's a dealbreaker. It was a four day stay. What kind of boyfriend does even visit? You fractured your skull too! Hate to say it but he's a douche. You should dump him before he gets the chance to do it, which he probably will since you already have that feeling.

 

You can do so much better than this guy.

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thank you all for your support. i think i need to have a serious talk with him. im trying to distance myself from him, yesterday i didnt call or text him.

 

this morning he just called me. i asked him if everything was ok with us and he said yeah and not to worry. I said that I feel like something is really wrong and he kept telling me everythig was fine and not to worry. So I told him I wasn't happy and if things don't change I am going to leave. He said "ok" and didn't really say much.

 

i am a nice person.. i mean i give people chances. but there are other things he's done to get me upset (Like poke fun of my looks and talk too much about ex girlfirends). SO here's what I'm going to do. When I see him I am going to furter tell him how unhappy I am and if things don't chnage I'm going to leave. I know I told him over the phone but i will say it agai in person. And i will say if he keeps talking about his ex-girlfriends or whatever that I will leave. i will just explain why i am unhappy and that i am giving him a chnace to change things. so if things dont chnage i WILL leave and i will make that clear to him. this is his LAST chance.

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I would leave the talk about exes to the side. Focus on this situation. I would say that unless he calls you in the next 24 hours and tells you why he acted in such a cold, uncaring way when you were seriously injured and hospitalized, and his reason is basically that he lost his mind (or was in a personal situation where he lost his mind) or he truly thought you did not want visitors (I doubt that could be true but figured I'd throw that in) - unless he initiates a serious talk - please move on. If you need to explain to him why he should have taken an interest in your serious health situation then he is not someone who can be in a serious friendship with someone, much less a romantic relationship. Why would you settle for such scraps anyway?

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I would leave the talk about exes to the side. Focus on this situation. I would say that unless he calls you in the next 24 hours and tells you why he acted in such a cold, uncaring way when you were seriously injured and hospitalized, and his reason is basically that he lost his mind (or was in a personal situation where he lost his mind) or he truly thought you did not want visitors (I doubt that could be true but figured I'd throw that in) - unless he initiates a serious talk - please move on. If you need to explain to him why he should have taken an interest in your serious health situation then he is not someone who can be in a serious friendship with someone, much less a romantic relationship. Why would you settle for such scraps anyway?

 

agreed. and i will have this talk with him and i really should leave. his excuse was that he didn't think my accident was that bad, that he fell out of a tree once and nothing happened to him. then he said how he had broken ribs once and still worked. but i told him he had no empathy.

 

i am having one last talk with him.. if things dont change im out of this (I promise you all). i had gone through enough crap these past 2 years of my life. i am giving him this one last chance.

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I'd also like to point out that though his actions while you were in the hospital were pretty cruel by any standards, he's already told you that he doesn't know if he even wants to be with you. You don't have enough in common and he has to think about it? Really? That alone would be enough to make me leave him. Do you really want to be with someone who has to think about whether or not he wants to be with you after two months?

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agreed. and i will have this talk with him and i really should leave. his excuse was that he didn't think my accident was that bad, that he fell out of a tree once and nothing happened to him. then he said how he had broken ribs once and still worked. but i told him he had no empathy.

 

i am having one last talk with him.. if things dont change im out of this (I promise you all). i had gone through enough crap these past 2 years of my life. i am giving him this one last chance.

 

Wow, what a self-centered douche, trying to trivialise your sufferings like he did nothing wrong. He sounds like he really doesn't give a damn whether you leave him or not.

 

Don't be too nice; he will trample all over you and you deserve so much better than that.

 

But yeah, do what you need to do to finally let go of it and then don't look back. You probably don't realise it yet but your future self will thank you for it.

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Well, if you really feel the need to give him another chance, do it, but don't be surprised if he does something like this again.

 

His excuse -- that it didn't seem that "serious," that he'd fallen out of a tree and went to work with broken ribs -- just doesn't hold water. It was a SKULL fracture, and you were in the hospital for several days. I'm sorry, but even if you had *just* had a whiplash and were sent home from the ER the same day, he should have checked on you. I think you're right, he's lacking empathy. I was in an accident, out of town, several years ago -- a pretty serious one in which the car was completely demolished -- and ended up in the ER with a pretty severe whiplash. When I came back into town, I talked with my ex (we weren't together at the time) and he was really worried about me and insisted that I let him take me to the doctor for my follow-up visit -- he wanted to be certain I was OK. I was surprised, especially since we weren't dating anymore. He was actually mad at me for not calling him right when it happened, and said he would have driven the 300 or so miles to where I was to get me. If someone is your actual boyfriend, he should be concerned about your safety and well-being. Like I said, unless he himself was in the hospital, there was no excuse for him not to come see you in the hospital for at least a few minutes.

 

I hope your talk with him goes OK. Keep us posted.

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His response of 'ok' when you told him you were going to leave him shows that he just doesn't care or he knows you won't, either way it's not good.

 

He doesn't even know if he wants to be with you so his acting this way could really be him trying to get out of the relationship. Instead of holding on to him for dear life and being treated badly, let the guy go so you can move on.

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What saddens me here is that you are trying to make it work with someone who you barely know who CLEARLY isn't that into you. He is cruel. The hospital stuff alone is more than enough evidence of callousness. On top of that, he does other stuff you don't like.

 

Ultimatums two months in? Are you really this desperate dear? I'm not trying to knock you AT ALL. You really should not even be negotiating with this dude. As a side note, all of this "are we ok" makes you sound insecure. Insecurity is understandable with a guy who doesn't care about you ... so that's why you should gather the strength to walk.

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I agree with Ms Darcy. This goes beyond not being into someone - he is cruel. He didn't even treat you like a friend when you were in the hospital, never mind a gf. And he is the kind of guy if his spouse gets cancer or something, he will leave her.

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thanks all....

 

Today i didn't hear from him. he last called me yesterday morning (as i posted). I am still frustrated because i am stuck at home bored unable to work. you would think he would check up on me? you would think he would call me again today to see how i am doing? nope.

 

i am definetly going to text him within the next hour or so.

 

now what do i say? how do i say it? i want to tell him how i feel without sounding clingy mean/ annoying.

 

what should i text him? i dont know how to go about this..

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My guess is that he wasn't all that into you and your accident and subsequent hospitalization and lingering medical issues are too inconvenient for him so he's bailing but grabbing some last minute sex.

 

Why you would kiss this guy and be affectionate after he totally blew you off when you were in the hospital and is basically telling you he wants out, is beyond me.

 

And here you are still waiting on him and wondering what to say to him since he hasn't contacted you.

 

The answer is obvious.

 

NOTHING

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I just read your first post and jumped to the last page to see this one. I''m so sorry for what happened to you. And regarding that guy...Listen, nothing that trickles down now can top the neglect he had for you when you were in the hospital. There is no question about it, there is nothing sincere going on. The line has been drawn. I agree with the previous poster who said you just say...well, nothing. In other words, it's very over. Thankfully the accident wasn't more serious than it was ...it very well could have been fatal. Life changing experience and some people showed their true colors, concentrate on those awesome people because those are the ones we should seek to surround our self with. I think I'd be a changed person if I went through what's happened with you.

 

thanks all....

 

Today i didn't hear from him. he last called me yesterday morning (as i posted). I am still frustrated because i am stuck at home bored unable to work. you would think he would check up on me? you would think he would call me again today to see how i am doing? nope.

 

i am definetly going to text him within the next hour or so.

 

now what do i say? how do i say it? i want to tell him how i feel without sounding clingy mean/ annoying.

 

what should i text him? i dont know how to go about this..

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agreed. and i will have this talk with him and i really should leave. his excuse was that he didn't think my accident was that bad, that he fell out of a tree once and nothing happened to him. then he said how he had broken ribs once and still worked. but i told him he had no empathy.

 

i am having one last talk with him.. if things dont change im out of this (I promise you all). i had gone through enough crap these past 2 years of my life. i am giving him this one last chance.

 

Spot on with that one! I see no future in a relationship with a man like this. Really sorry to hear what you went through!! -I hope you start to feel better soon!

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