somegirl30 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I miss my ex and it's taking a lot not to contact him! It's been almost 2 months since the BU and we've been NC since so I'm not planning to go there. I've been trying to make new friends and reconnect with old ones, but it hasn't been easy. A lot of friends are married with kids or have boyfriends they're busy with. Which I understand, but I'm so lonely and I'm feeling pretty pathetic because I could really use a good friend to go out with tonite, but everyone's busy. Just feeling bummed. Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Wow, that sounds much whinier than I intended... Link to comment
bunny45 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hugs to you! I'm in the same boat.... Feeling alone, sad, worthless... From what I read on these boards it does get easier over time.... My thoughts are with you... Link to comment
boyblue Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I miss my ex and it's taking a lot not to contact him! It's been almost 2 months since the BU and we've been NC since so I'm not planning to go there. I've been trying to make new friends and reconnect with old ones, but it hasn't been easy. A lot of friends are married with kids or have boyfriends they're busy with. Which I understand, but I'm so lonely and I'm feeling pretty pathetic because I could really use a good friend to go out with tonite, but everyone's busy. Just feeling bummed. Yep what a bummer I am sat in tonight bored nothing to do but sit on dating sites talking to women I am not even interested in lol! Everyone I know almost is hooked up in some sort of way, friends, cousins, brother etc. BB Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I haven't started dating yet because I know I'm not over my ex. However, it has been tempting because of how lonely I am. It seems like the people I know who are single are happy with the friends they already have... It's very difficult to meet/make new friends as an adult. Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I know what you mean. Book a trip. Thats what I did. I'm going to Europe in one month - by myself (but I'm meeting up with a friend who's already there). So now I no longer feel sad/lonely that I'm not going out cuz I know i have to save up money for expenditures while I'm there. It also gives me something to anticipate. I know how difficult it is to make friends.. I'm lucky I've made a few through work and I have some cousins that live here too. I find the best way to connect with people is at work. Why don't you ask one of your colleagues if they wanna go grab a drink after work? You can always join clubs and stuff too, surely there has to be something interesting going on in the community. And as far as dating goes, yeah you are not over your ex, but you could always post a profile up on a dating site, and at the very least meet some new guys and go out for dinner every now and then. It might actually help you to heal.. as long as you don't get too involved right off the bat. Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I know what you mean. Book a trip. Thats what I did. I'm going to Europe in one month - by myself (but I'm meeting up with a friend who's already there). So now I no longer feel sad/lonely that I'm not going out cuz I know i have to save up money for expenditures while I'm there. It also gives me something to anticipate. I know how difficult it is to make friends.. I'm lucky I've made a few through work and I have some cousins that live here too. I find the best way to connect with people is at work. Why don't you ask one of your colleagues if they wanna go grab a drink after work? You can always join clubs and stuff too, surely there has to be something interesting going on in the community. And as far as dating goes, yeah you are not over your ex, but you could always post a profile up on a dating site, and at the very least meet some new guys and go out for dinner every now and then. It might actually help you to heal.. as long as you don't get too involved right off the bat. Link to comment
KittyBoo Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I was in the same place as some of you are now. The key is to find new activities or volunteering opportunities that just allow you to get out of the house. I still would like to meet someone but I am keeping myself busy and find that I am starting to appreciate when I do have "down" time because I can just relax, putter around the house, come to this forum to see if I can offer any words of wisdom since so many folks did that for me when I first got here. Take it from me, it truly goes get better as time goes by. I was in bad shape a year ago but now that I can look at things more objectively I realize that I have been given the chance to work on some personal issues that will make me stronger and happier. And don't assume that your friends are all busy or have better things to do. Make suggestions for get togethers even if they are as simple as going to their house to play cards or talk in case if they have kids and can't get away. Maybe a local food bank or soup kitchen is looking for volunteers. There is nothing like helping out others who are less fortunate than you are to make you feel better Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Unfortunately my budget is very tight right now so trips are out. I only directly work with 2 gals and both seem content with their lives and group of friends...but perhaps I'll mention it. I did email an old friend I haven't seen in months today about getting together sometime. I would love to have girlfriends to be able to hang out with. Link to comment
KittyBoo Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 You can also check out the website link removed to see if there are any groups in your area where you could meet new people with common interests. Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Thanks for the encouragement. I really do fine through the week, but weekends are difficult. I did hear back from the friend I emailed and hopefully we can get together soon. And perhaps I'll put up a dating profile online to try to meet some friends. Link to comment
pietro5266 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Yep what a bummer I am sat in tonight bored nothing to do but sit on dating sites talking to women I am not even interested in lol! Everyone I know almost is hooked up in some sort of way, friends, cousins, brother etc. This post made me feel a lot better. I thought that I was the only sad, lonely, miserable b*****d sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, looking at dating sites full of excellent potential dates and not caring about any of them. Link to comment
pietro5266 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 @somegirl30, just noticed your signature line. Do you have a family member(s) with autism/Asperger's? My daughter has Asperger's. As frightening as that statistic is, seems like people are really not frightened enough. Link to comment
Bungle UK Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Thanks for the encouragement. I really do fine through the week, but weekends are difficult. I did hear back from the friend I emailed and hopefully we can get together soon. And perhaps I'll put up a dating profile online to try to meet some friends. Yeah... I was the same! Wkends can be torturous. The week can seem a doddle if your busy with work and hobbies/activities on the night. I found Fri night v.hard but tried to get round it by doing anything and everything. Its amazing how a break up can allow you to embrace new ventures and meet new people, or talk to that person down the gym etc... Turn the negative into a positive. Its tough, but its like a lot of things in life. You get out what you put in. Just literally throw yourself into a club or hobby. Daunting at first, but few wks down the line, you will be proud of yourself that you did it, look back and think 'hey that wasn't so hard' and there the ball begins to roll. Next you'l be taking on the world!! Stay positive. Link to comment
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