Your thoughts/advice please?

[lindyl]

Met a guy 4 yrs ago (hes now 30, i'm 33). First he was really shy, went red when i spoke etc, got easier after a few months. Eventually he offered to help me with something then we changed no's and I took him out as a thankyou. We keep in touch, got out some more, get quite close at one point then he goes distant. Speaks if i do but no more than that, few months later he gets in touch we get chatting and hanging out again, then he goes distant again. So after a while i get in touch with him to see if he'd do me a favour, he does, we go out again a couple times, get to making out then he goes distant again. So over the past few months we get close again, get to sleeping together, first time i initiated it, the other times it was him, so he's done his distant thing again, he'll always reply to my texts, seems ok, tells me what he's been doing, calls me 'sxy' and asks how i am etc, but once again he's stopped initiating contact.

What do you think of this. I'm 99% sure he's not going distant because of another girl, he is really shy, not much girl experience, i dont think there was any before me! He still lives at home with mum and dad, is an only child and a bit of a loner, his hobbies are all things he can do on his own.

This has been going on years and i like him an awful lot and i know he likes me too.

Any answers as to why he keeps backing off. In the past 2 months i've not seen him, he has always replied to my texts though, and apologises for not replying right away etc, still i get the 'sxy' thing. Whats going on?

 

The last time i saw him he gave me a big hug and kiss as he left, he's not normally a hugging type.

[laura40]

Hi,

 

I have a feeling he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he sees you as someone who he can just call whenever he feels like it, and that's it. Have you asked him what he wants?

 

If he doesn't have feelings romantically then I'd find a new man. He seems a bit unstable.

[Wellrounded]

The only way you will ever find out what he is thinking or feeling is to ask him directly. I tend to do similar with my close friends. I will spend a good bit of time with them over a week or so then sometimes not see them or even talk to them much for a week or more. It has nothing to do with any change in the friendship just do not always feel the need to be hanging out with them. But as I said the only way to know for sure is to ask him. Good luck.