keep breaking NC!!

[HE16]

It's my own fault I keep getting upset!

 

Texted on Wednesday, had a nice conversation.. completely ignored me on Thursday. Replied almost a full day later to apologise, his phone had run out of battery and he hadn't had a charger til he got home, asked me how I was... didn't bother replying to my two texts.

 

No contact on Friday, woke up today curious as to why after wanting a conversation with me on Wednesday he started ignoring me... he replied straight away. Out of the blue he tells me about how he's going to have a 'messy weekend' with parties every day next week. I replied telling him his liver wouldn't stand much more, as a joke, no reply. Sent an apology (shouldn't have!) and asking why he could afford to buy 'shed loads of alcohol' but not to come pick up his stuff, or meet me. Got a text about an hour later saying he was young, he enjoyed getting wasted with his friends more, I said he had to start making an effort if he wanted to be friends, because I was tired of picking up the pieces every time he can't be bothered talking to me. He hasn't replied.

 

He's turned into such a * * * * . He used to be teetotal! Now he's constantly drunk.

 

Take this as a warning...I was happy on Friday, getting used to the idea of NC! He was fine talking to me until I said something about having a good night last night (I think because I'm happy without him). He doesn't want to be friends - he just doesn't want to feel guilty!

 

Time is a good healer, I get that, and NC probably would have worked, but it's only now I'm realising that he isn't the person I fell in love with and spent last summer with - he's a liar. People change, not always for the better.

 

NC probably works, yes, but you have to be strong enough to keep to it. How can I keep to it?! I'm getting myself upset with thoughts that he's going to turn around and realise how much he's messing up his life and me. Before, he wouldn't have dreamt of treating anyone like this. He's broken every promise. I want to move on, because I awnt the old him back, and I'm never ever going to get that back.