LoveHurts89 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I don't get it. Philosophy isn't gonna work on me right now. I'm just confused to * * * * * . How can somebody love you for two and a half years, then BAM, it be over? About 12 weeks before he broke up with me, I paid for us to go on a lovely holiday. It was so so nice. 8 weeks before he broke up with me, it was Christmas. He got me a lot. £180 on a pair of boots, and various other gifts. Then two weeks before we split, he got me a charm for Valentine's day of two people hugging. He said it meant togwther forever. So what can happen in two weeks? God, I feel so * * * * * . I just want him back. It's crazy how me showing and telling him how much I love him just makes it all worse. I know I should "move on". But how do you do that when you still love this person so much? The thought of him meeting somebody new kills me. I hate how the one person who said he'd always protect me has hurt me more than I could ever imagine. Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 hey, I understand how you feeling. I also booked a holiday for me and my ex, we had an amazing week (so I thought) I found out that just days after our holiday he was saying he was still in love with his wife and how much hurt he was feeling because she was dating. one week before we broke up, it was my brithday, he came to pick me up at the airport, he had flowers and bought me a tiffany necklace, that I will never use, just the thought of wearing it makes me think about that day and how I was feeling so incredible lucky. I totally feel for you and yes, you need to move on. It is so hard and painful but the best thing you can do. Here to help Link to comment
LoveHurts89 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Your response just made me cry. Men are b@stards. They go on, so seemingly happy, whilst I'm a quivering wreck for months, trying to do anything to get him back. Link to comment
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I was trying to get him back for two months, found myself in a pathetic state, so you are not alone here. People that leave had time to think, they knew they were unhappy and is easy for them to move on. I have walk away many times, for a reason or another but I always try to come to terms with my exs and I am friends with them, because I never try to hurt them. You are very young, plenty of time to meet people and find what you lookinf for. i know is not what you want to hear, I hate when people say that but is the true. Link to comment
HE16 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I know exactly how you feel. My ex told me he wanted to 'Talk' and when we did, he apologised and promised he wasn't going to dump me, I was the one for him, he loved me forever, couldn't believe the thought had even crossed his mind. We spent the night and next day together. He told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to PROPOSE to me. We talked about our upcoming anniversary plans, the future, kids and everything - I thought maybe the Almost-Breakup had made us stronger! When he got home, he changed his relationship status on Facebook to single. It was pathetic and heartbreaking. He became a coward, and I like to think that because he couldn't do it to my face he isn't worth my time. You have to remember, they are NOT the person you fell in love with, because they wouldn't do that to you. It's a different person. He messed with my emotions, promised he would still be best friends and we might have a chance in the future etc., then went back on it and no longer is willing to speak to me. That's because he is a pathetic b*stard! I would have done anything for him, and if he'd acted differently, and not pretended that there was a problem with us I would have at least been expecting it or able to try fix things. He asked to get back with me but changed his mind when I said I couldn't cope with him getting with other girls! What a * * * * ish thing to do! Best thing to do is honestly, move forwards. Show him what he's missing! Don't hang on to hopes that you could reconcile, like I am, because it makes you feel a lot worse. He's treated you horribly and I promise you can find better although it does not feel like it. There is someone else out there for you. Don't think about it, distract yourself. I'm trying to tell myself exactly the same thing, but it's difficult because I keep thinking, "maybe if he realises how good we were together?" he'll suddenly change his mind. But I know that I have to think that he won't. Bit of dodgy advice here, but it's really helped me. The day after my family found out, my aunt came to see me and told me that her daughter and her husband had dated when they were at uni. They broke up for three years and had separate lives, didn't speak, both had other relationships although they found it difficult. Then they got back together - after three years - because they had both moved on, found other people and grown up, their relationship was better and they've been married for 12 years. I think that's the best advice I had, because it's basically saying to move on, and if you're meant to be together you will be together (sorry, philosophical bit), but if not...well you've moved on anyways. NC is hard, it's been a month and I still can't manage it, but I'm beginning to be stronger about it. Please, when you feel strong enough to, I reccommend NC. It works. Out of sight, out of your phonebook, Facebook, MSN, email...out of mind. Good luck xxx Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Me too! Know how you feel. I still feel stunned a lot of the time. Link to comment
LoveHurts89 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 He16 - Thank you. What fab advice. You've made me feel so much better. Thank you xx Silver - We're gonna get there xx Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hi LH, Hope today is a better day for you. Last night I fell asleep reading a book called "Why Men Love B's" (the title is tongue in cheek). The book is about valuing ourselves and I do feel for me that it is empowering. I'm working at getting self-confidence. I definitely feel better today having also rested and taken good care of myself yesterday. Hugs. Link to comment
carrie8484 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 ive also started reading 'why men love b*****s' and its got some good advice. it wont solve our current state but it does have some useful information on how men's minds work and how women should value themselves x Link to comment
hazelnut321 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Who know why men do what they do sometimes. I will say from past experience, if your relationship was as good as you say it was- he will eventually come back. Sometimes they will try to reconnect after years! My bet is thaqt you won't want him anymore when that happens. You will have found someone who isn't going to come out of left field with something like this. It's downright cruel!! I usually practice NC and am staunch with it. It helps me recover quicker--- and darlin- it's all about your recovery- to h#ll with him. Link to comment
TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Omg that was down right mean!!! What goes through their minds!! Mines disappeared on me after sending a text saying he can't wait to see me when he gets out of class @ 8:30 well by 9:00 his cell number and address was changed!!! He really wanted to rid me!! Link to comment
nattpanter Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I finally found my inner bastard after reading this thread! Thanx... Link to comment
LoveHurts89 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 The bastard comment wasn't meant to offend anybody. It was said in the heat of the moment, as are a lot of other comments on this board. I've seen comments about women, but haven't got offended by them. I just know people are hurting, and say some stuff they don't mean when hurting. Link to comment
whysoalone Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I'm a guy, we're not all the same. Just need to go through a few to find the right one. And a lot of us are on the same end of the stick with the Females, most posts on this forum are about them if you ask me. He probably did something he shouldn't have and he's running away from it, who knows. The perfect man is out there for you somewhere, we're not all the same! Link to comment
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