dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 So me and my ex have been posting here, I found out accidentally... ironically I was going to asnwer to one of his threads. Life has this funny way to guide you to answer, perhaps not the best way but I finally got my closure. Nw, guys be careful with exclusive details on your post because you never know who is behind it. I think me and my ex are equally clever to have end up in the same forum or not. p.s. If you still here and reading this, don't get offended just trying to help others.
chitown9 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Do you think that he knows that you are on this site also?
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 He does, I spoke to him. Certainly I did not know until yesterday as his thread was just so familiar. I am not in any way trying to hurt him, I am glad I can move forward now and let it go. Just want people to be careful, the odds are very small that two people will end up in the same forums but we did, and maybe this was not the way I wanted to know about what happened but I did. At least I got many answers and is for the best. Just weird how things happen sometimes....
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 Yes, but just for the best. I can put my mind at rest. You are in Hawaii, one of the most amazing places I been, nearly had a plane crash there the hawaiin airline have the oldest planes on earth trying to change the subject a bit.
mouseno4 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I personally have nothing to hide. If someone i know found me on this site, and learned everything i have written it would not bother me in the least. Anything i put onto the internet is for the world to see.
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 Yes some of us, come here to get some help and move on. I am not blaming him, he was using the forum to get help too. I just did not want to read the stuff I did because is very painful. On the other hand I can understand better why he left and I feel like I can actually let it go now. I feel much better now and probably happened for the best.
lavenderdove Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 >>I just did not want to read the stuff I did because is very painful. But it really is true that the truth sets you free... Life shouldn't be about burying our head in the sand to avoid unpleasant realities, but to learn what is really going on so that you can make good decisions and choices. Sadly, most dumpers lie about why they are dumping someone and try to soften the blow in hopes of getting off easy or thinking they are not hurting the other person or not revealing info that makes them look bad (like cheating etc.). If they would only tell the truth when they break up, it would mean their ex might hurt a bit more when they find out the truth, but also wouldn't waste a lot of time and energy wondering what went wrong or hoping the person will come back when there is no chance of that. You just can't avoid the pain of a breakup, but you can make informed decisions if you have the truth about why it ended. So i think all we can do is to try to be honest with ourselves and others, so he didn't do anything wrong by being on this site, as long as he isn't using it as a vehicle to on purpose try to make you feel worse.
Unwanted Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I wish my ex would stumble upon my posts. At least I'm able to convey my feelings somehow. Rather than being yelled and abused on the phone by him and refusing to let me speak.
tresqua Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I've seen couples post together on internet relationship boards. It NEVER works out well and becomes a pissing match with other posters taking sides. Invariably, they ended up on the same site because the other person found their history on the computer. The odds of them randomly stumbling accross their partners forum, thread, and recognize them by chance alone is almost zero.
regular joe Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I wish my ex would stumble upon my posts. At least I'm able to convey my feelings somehow. Rather than being yelled and abused on the phone by him and refusing to let me speak. I'll second that. My ex was a member on here. I just looked and she hasn't been on in years. I wish she would see what I wrote. Maybe then what I have told her when we were together and since we have been apart will finally sink in. I ran into her a couple of weeks ago and even after two years she cannot face/ talk to me.
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 In my case I found stuff I did not want to read but I had time to think and my ex as myself came here to look for help. He joined this site way before I did, I came here but just by curisoity after a google search on "how to get your ex back" as perhaps many people to here. I want the best for him and for me, so I took the stuff I read as a learning experience, he was not in love with me, the pain is horrible but is actually less now that I know why he left. He stopped talking to me so finding things here was like my answer for a closure, I will be fine now.
dolorosa Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 I've seen couples post together on internet relationship boards. It NEVER works out well and becomes a pissing match with other posters taking sides. Invariably, they ended up on the same site because the other person found their history on the computer. The odds of them randomly stumbling accross their partners forum, thread, and recognize them by chance alone is almost zero. This was 100% chance, I will never mention my ex name here and I could not possible have access to my ex computer because we never lived together and he lives 2.5 hours away. Believe me, I was in shock too, this has nothing to to with trying to create problems neither. I am a grow up and I actually respect him more now despite the pain.
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