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Why am I OK to just walk out of peoples life so easily??!


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Here is my circumstance...I would love to know other people's opinion:


About a year ago I got out of a relationship where I was codependent and really hurt and messed up. I went to therapy and have never really been happier in my life after about the 6 month mark. I've become very independent and have shed most of the large ego I once had. I met a few different women I have casually dated for the past year, one in particular that live accross the street. Great girl, we became friends and dated for a few months until she moved about 2 hours away got a new job and says she's very "busy" with her new work schedule. Now I buy it, but I also wasnt born yesterday. She's a great girl and quite attractive so I wouldn't be surprised if she's found a new love interest where she has moved. But the lack of responding to my calls and texts every now and then has me kind of fed up. I basically just deleted her number, her skype and blocked on facebook because I don't care to think about who she is dating etc. I dont even want to respond to her when she follows up with me a few days from now.


I have caught myself banning 3 other people from my life in the past two months. I do the same thing. I think "Eh, I don't care to see who their dating on facebook and I don't want to be there for them when it's only on their time." Its not like I just met her, I have known her for a year and really think she is a great person, but it's easier for me to just walk away and never look back. Never call, never respond...like vanishing from their life. I don't know why I do this but Im perfectly Okay with it and I know it's not right to do but it's an easy way for me to just move on. Am I being way too selfish or is it okay to just to whats best for me and nobody else?

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I think you're looking at it the wrong way.

I don't think anything's wrong with you -- you have a lot of respect for yourself, and you don't put up with people's sh*t. That's awesome. I'm trying to be more like you.


I personally feel like if someone can't make the time for you, then you're not important enough to them. Close the door and continue moving on with your life. Nothing wrong with that. You're doing what's best for you. Besides, just because you delete THEIR number from your phone, and you delete them from facebook, doesn't mean that they can't call you to make amends.


I say stick with it.

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I totally see where you are coming from. I did this to many people in my life the day I deactivated my facebook account. It was almost like a feeling of "HA! Now you can't see what I'm doing, who I'm dating, when I break up, my pictures" It was too much of a window into my personal life. And I figured my closest friends, the ones who mean something to me, call me. It was the best thing I ever did.

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To go against what the others say a bit, you could try talking to her about her distance, and finding out what is actually going on?

What you are doing is basically withdrawal, and whilst it is useful, it doesn't foster relationships but kills them, and is simply a reaction to another's behaviour, rather than a response, if that makes sense. I'm not saying you SHOULDN'T stop speaking with this girl, but your reaction is fairly harsh and seems to be based on the feeling that she is seeing someone else, which you have no proof off. She may just be busy as she said. She may not.

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