It's been 2 months now, should I contact my ex?

[Gemo112]

We split up on good terms. It's been 2 months since we last spoke to each other. The last time we spoke was when she text me a month after NC and LC before that and asking if I was out in town because she thought she saw me (previous thread from 2 months ago). It's her birthday in a few days, so i've been thinking about her alot, and people at work keep telling me to not give up because we where really good together (we worked together for a bit last summer it's how we met) and im wondering if I should say hello or just let it die. I won't know if I don't try though? I do want to get back with her I'm just worried about making the wrong move at the wrong time.

[Melting]

Who was the dumper in this situation?

 

If it was her, are you prepared for the possible concequences that might arise from that contact?

 

Lets say you wish her happy birthday and she replies.... "Thanks, hope you are well" and you don't hear from her again. Emotionally are you ready for that? If you are, then it wouldn't hurt to send her birthday wishes.

[listed]

If you use the phrase "give up" then the answer is no. You should already consider yourself done and not have feelings or desire to get back together before you contact her. Why do you want to get back with someone who broke up with you? Do you think it's good for you to be with someone who didn't want to be with you? Do you think if she wanted to be with you right now she would be silent?

[mdrnlvdly]

If she hasn't contacted you in 2 months. She's moved on. You should too.

 

This however, doesn't mean that you've forgotten her. A "Happy Birthday" text is the right thing to do. However, don't expect a reply or even a thank you. If you get one, leave it alone. If she's thinking of you, she'll contact you.

 

Being a good ex-boyfriend is remembering birthday and holidays, those are ok to send a quick text. If that leads to something else, so be it. I would suggest you start thinking about and dating others. 2 months with no contact is along time.

[whaaaa]

I agree, 2 months is a while. I would send the Happy Birthday text but only if you are prepared to maybe get a simple thank you and that's it. Listen, some couples get back after 6 months, a year of being apart and if that happens great but there is a reason she does not want to be with you right now and you have to accept it. I always go about it like this, you are going to do what you want to at the end of the day and if that means playing yourself and making you look weaker and more unattractive to your ex then so be it. Some people need to hit an all time low to finally move on. Do things in your spare time that will add value to yourself. Go to the gym, network and find business opportunities to make more money, date other chicks so that when you do bump into her or one of her friends you will feel more confident and it will show.

[Gemo112]

It's funny you say that because when she text me before I said "no I'm not out hope your well" and she tested back.

 

She initiated it but I agreed it was for the best as we're both in transition stages of our lives. I know its not the right time for us to get back together but I want to stay in the picture if you know what I mean.

 

I have been doing all those things like talking to new girls and going to the gym. I could handle not getting a reply it would be a releaf not having to worry about contacting for anymore etc. Thanks for the replies.

[sunnz]

I went nc for nearly 3 months [had done nc previous of no choice really lol] and have been talking to my ex for nearly 4 weeks now after I broke nc...and now we have made plans to meet and he has just re-added me on fb...which was a complete shock as he had once told me to stop re-adding him or he'll block lol...plus he did it at 4am ...

 

I also was the one who asked to catch up and he agreed...after initially in the past telling me I was unstable to meet again just yet haha...

 

People change and their attitude changes...my ex was cocky kinda mean and ignoring me 3 months ago when I had come back from a month nc that we both agreed for me to...but not a complete ignoring...just deliberate to get a reaction...

 

I went back with no expectations...I just keep everything positive...no reactions to anything...I reply a day or so later...but I am at the stage where I am cool...and really when he added me back on facebook I was not impressed...even though I want him back...aas now I have no privacy...had to hide some things like poems I wrote out of anger haha....

 

My advice is do it when you are comfortable and not expect anything ...prepare your mind that she may not reply...

 

My ex did a complete 180 on attitude...but now I'm wondering if I even want him back now lol...because his game is up...I mean 4am drunk message [he said he was drunk but he was coherent] to tell me to catch up...and telling me to text him sometime...and re-adding me on fb...[he had also told me 3 mths ago to stop texting]...

 

I keep everything light fun happy and positive...I never react to anything...he did a test the other day...did not reply to my message for a week when previous it was the next day or same day..3 months ago I would have told him off...but this time I said not a word..didn't care...and lo and behold he replied as predicted...because I know he was observing my behaviour....EXES WILL OBSERVE YOU...to see if you slip up...especially if you were needy or emotional at some point after break up...which I was emotional...

[sausalito]

Hi, just wondering what happened in this situation, are you guys still in touch?

[dave1981]

I would text her to at least wish her a happy birthday