How soon before you started dating again and does it help to move on?

[Melting]

I am at the other end of the scale, I am the rebound girl..... twice!

 

Please tread carefully when dating other people. The last 2 guys I dated, both out of BU's, one 10mths out the other 6mths out. Both assured me they were ready to move on with their lives. Prior to any involvement with them I had discussions with their break ups, how they felt, are they ready and over their ex's. Feeling I was on safe ground, I deceided to chance it.... only then for them to get cold feet, turn around and say they aren't ready.

 

I sit here now licking my wounds and questioning my self worth.... I thought I covered every avenue in the beginning to protect myself, but I was wrong.

[OptomisticGirl]

I have refused up to now to even consider a date, but a couple exs and friends have asked me out, should I give it a try? or should I just focus on forgetting my ex. Nothing seems to be working at the moment, how did you guys move on? and started dating again?

 

My fiance and I started dating about 3 1/2 months after my ex and I broke up. I wasn't looking for anything, neither was he, we just happen to meet and viola. Our biggest concerns (both of us) was neither of us wanted him to be the rebound but my break up was a little easier than most since I had checked out emotionally years before the final break up, it was just a matter of getting use to not having that person in my life, you know? It's different for everyone though.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am at the other end of the scale, I am the rebound girl..... twice!

 

Please tread carefully when dating other people. The last 2 guys I dated, both out of BU's, one 10mths out the other 6mths out. Both assured me they were ready to move on with their lives. Prior to any involvement with them I had discussions with their break ups, how they felt, are they ready and over their ex's. Feeling I was on safe ground, I deceided to chance it.... only then for them to get cold feet, turn around and say they aren't ready.

 

I sit here now licking my wounds and questioning my self worth.... I thought I covered every avenue in the beginning to protect myself, but I was wrong.

 

Yep...and sadly the world is full of people who have been burned by those who choose to date because they don't want to be single anymore after a break up.

[hazelnut321]

Well if you get the urge to text him, call a friend - or post here. Heck go out for a long walk, w/o phone.

 

dolorosa, I've been reading your posts and I can certainly empathize with the pain that you are feeling. I'm not sure how old you are, but I've learned a couple of things about human nature in my 50+ years. You HAVE to quit contacting him in any way. You are keeping yourself from moving forward. It's a really bad place to be- stagnation.

 

Get yourself to the best you- you can be, and mark my words, you will find someone amazing.

[dolorosa]

Hey hazelnut, thank you so much for posting. I am 31, single mum of a five year old busy girl. I can honestly say than 2 and a half months later I feel much better. My ex was my soulmate I know what we had was real and I will never forget about him but who says there is not more than one soulmate in the world, we are reaching 7 billion people, surely there has to be someone else for me out there. I met a very nice person but I don't feel the amazing feeling when you know you have something, so we will stay friends for now. I am not looking to rush into anything anymore, my life at the moment has changed for the better and things are moving towards my goals. Thanks again and by no means I am not suffering from losing two important people in my life (lost my mum same time as my ex) I miss them both but I know my mum is in a better place and for my ex, he is now in a relationship and wish him the best, because love does not know selfishness.