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he does not remember my birthday


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I'm really hurt. We've been together for almost 3 years now. He's been a great boyfriend and we're very close. From the beginning of the month till today, we've been having uni exams. So naturally, he's been very stressed until this morning when he finally handed his essay in. My birthday is tomorrow. This afternoon, he came over to pick me up so that we can go shop for a friend's farewell gift and have dinner. From the way he behaved, I knew he did not remember that my birthday was coming up. I told him that our friend was going to have the party on Saturday (instead of Sunday as my birthday is on Saturday). He asked me why and then i told him the truth - that it was deliberate as our friend knew that I had plans for tomorrow. He looked shocked and admitted that he did not remember it. Judging from the previous 2 years, he's not the kind of person not to though - he remembers our anniversary, never forgets to buy me gifts for Valentines, Christmas etc.


In hindsight, I felt quite heartbroken when he asked me why not have the farewell party on Saturday. My male friend remembers but my boyfriend does not (and they all finished their exams today). I guess deep inside, I wanted to remind him (discreetly) because I didn't want tomorrow to come and pass away without a happy birthday from him. That would hit me even harder and I simply can't face it.


I was really hurt but i pretended nothing was wrong and that was probably the hardest part. I thought if he loved me then he would remember no matter how stressed/busy he was. Before he came to my house to pick me up, my mum said that he would definitely remember and I thought the same way. I guess we were all wrong.


I don't know what to think. I guess it isn't even a big deal as he had exams to deal with. But no matter how i try to persuade myself into thinking that his forgetfulness is understandable, I'm still cut.


Any thoughts?


Thanks in advance!

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Took me most of my 30 years to really remember my own families birthdays. All 4 of them. And i am still not 100% on my fathers birthday. My only saving grace is that a couple of them have their birth dates as their phone numbers.


I totally suck at memory things. Been that way since the day i had the ability to remember things.

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I don't remember bday of my parents either. I do remember my sister's ones because we celebrated them over and over, but we rarely celebrated our parents ones. Tho' I can't say how old any of them are by heart, I always have to remind myself of the year of their birth and then calculate the age to the current year.


But I remember the bday of the girl I loved. My memory is not bad at all I believe, I just care for some more than others.


In the end it's all about priorities, so you're not no.1 on his list right now. You can be pissed and let him know, he'll prolly remember it till the next time and will make sure he won't forget it anymore. No biggie. really.

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I wouldn't have said anything, then he'd never have forgotten ever again

my bf keeps asking when mine is and has resorted to putting it on his calander, he forgets. my ex doesn't know our childrens birthdays or their ages, and my best friend at school who i'd known for years was polite enough every year when I'd forget. for some reason I had it in my head her birthday was November 16th but hers was in October 22nd. See I can remember now and we've lost touch!

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I forgot a friend's birthday two years in a row after years of never forgetting. Those two particular years I had stuff going on which I was totally focused on that I forgot (one of those years I had sent a birthday card prior to the birthday but forgot to call him on the day of his birthday). Yes, it does hurt when someone forgets your birthday, but it doesn't necessarily mean the person doesn't care enough. Sometimes there is just major stuff going on in their life that has them preoccupied. Also, remembering someone's birthday doesn't necessarily mean they care all that much. My brother calls me on my birthday and that is the only time he cares to speak to me. So big deal that he remembers my birthday when the rest of the year he couldn't care less. Caring about someone goes beyond milestone dates..it is how the person treats you in general that really counts. Your bf was very uptight about his exams and papers..it was crunch time for him and everything else fell by the wayside. It happens sometimes.

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From everything else you've said, it sounds like he cares about you. Sometimes people really do suck at remembering things. I find I remind my husband a week or so before my birthday, i'll just subtly slip it into conversation, because I know I would be very hurt if he just plain forgot. Does he use a calendar or have a phone he could program dates into?

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  • 4 years later...

Hi, I am in love with a boy for the last 7 months. I told to my friend about him and she told me she knows him and I understood that she do not have a good opinion about him. For me everything seemed liked a dream. He was looking sweet and handsome. Everybody was telling how cute we are looking together when I showed some of our photos we have taken together. We met on facebook. Then we started to date. After few months, his behavior started changing. He hates what I like .Now I realized I don’t really like him I can’t imagine living the rest of my life with him. I stopped answering his calls and replying to texts. Last day he send me a flower bouquet through an online flower delivery store called Flowers Canada who sends flowers online with a message that he wants to be mine and I need to answer his calls. Does he really loves me?? Do I need to move forward ??

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