I think there is something wrong with my emotions

[Anusha]

I just think I feel things too intensely sometimes.For example right now Im missing my guy like hell even though it was just one day that we didnt have contact.And I get really down with small things like he had not called me today.And I feel rejected and keep wondering if he cares for me as much as I care for him.Why Im like that?

[RedDress]

I don't think there is anything wrong with your emotions... I just don't think you have enough 'other' things going on in your life.

 

Ever notice when you are super busy that you don't even realize you are hungry? Same concept. If you had a ton of other things going on, you would be excited to have time apart. You would finally get time with your friends, to persue your hobbies, to spend time with your family, etc. Sure... you are still hungry. But, you aren't thinking about it because you have other stuff going on.

 

So - my question back to you is... is he the entirety of your life? What were you doing when you were single? What have you been neglecting?

 

It's not healthy for your SO to be the centre of your life, IMO. They should be a big part - but not the whole thing.

[Anusha]

I don't think there is anything wrong with your emotions... I just don't think you have enough 'other' things going on in your life.

 

Ever notice when you are super busy that you don't even realize you are hungry? Same concept. If you had a ton of other things going on, you would be excited to have time apart. You would finally get time with your friends, to persue your hobbies, to spend time with your family, etc. Sure... you are still hungry. But, you aren't thinking about it because you have other stuff going on.

 

So - my question back to you is... is he the entirety of your life? What were you doing when you were single? What have you been neglecting?

 

It's not healthy for your SO to be the centre of your life, IMO. They should be a big part - but not the whole thing.

 

I dont think I can be excited with time apart.Yesterday he even told me that he think is good that I got a job and so we cant see each other all the time anymore.He said that this way we wont fight so much anymore and the time we do meet will be better.But honestly I liked better when we could see each other whenever we felt like it.

[Capricorn3]

OP; It sounds like you have major abandonment issues. You also have high anxiety and are very very insecure. Have you ever considered professional counselling to help you figure out where all this is coming from? I am sure it would be very beneficial to you to help you with these many issues.

[Hollyj]

Oh Anusha,

 

Is this the same married guy you mentioned from the Baggage Reclaim site.

 

Some have suggested for years, that you get some counseling and address your co-dependency and attention-seeking issues. These problems just seem to be getting worse and worse. Even Natalie had had it!

 

Why not get some help, or at the very least seek out some CODA classes in your country. This doesn't seem like it will ever end until you decide you want to help yourself! Stop living in the drama!

[Anusha]

Oh Anusha,

 

Is this the same married guy you mentioned from the Baggage Reclaim site.

 

Some have suggested for years, that you get some counseling and address your co-dependency and attention-seeking issues. These problems just seem to be getting worse and worse. Even Natalie had had it!

 

Why not get some help, or at the very least seek out some CODA classes in your country. This doesn't seem like it will ever end until you decide you want to help yourself! Stop living in the drama!

 

No it isnt him,that one isnt married just have some problems with his aunt.Im really considerating therapy now cause Im tired of feeling this way and I dont know what more to do to stop it.

[Jd1983]

If you think that therapy may help, why not give it a try?

 

You need to start realizing that there is much more to life than just your partner.

 

Did you ever hear the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

 

If you spend some time apart, you may even cherish the moments you get to see each other.

[Anusha]

If you think that therapy may help, why not give it a try?

 

You need to start realizing that there is much more to life than just your partner.

 

Did you ever hear the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

 

If you spend some time apart, you may even cherish the moments you get to see each other.

 

My bf thinks like that too,he think that us meeting less often will be better for us.And actualy he have been more sweet to me since I started working,he even calls me pretty much everyday now.I just have to watch out for my tendency to worry about stuff.

[hexaemeron]

Let me ask you, Anusha. Totally honestly, would you want someone to make you their entire world, forsaking all other things out there? Careers, interests, family, friends. Is that something that would make you feel good?

[Anusha]

Let me ask you, Anusha. Totally honestly, would you want someone to make you their entire world, forsaking all other things out there? Careers, interests, family, friends. Is that something that would make you feel good?

 

To be honest yes I guess I would,but I never have been on that place before so I dont know how it feels much(maybe I would feel smothered).My ex used to ask me that too and I always would say that I would love if he was with me the same way I was with him,that would make me feel much more loved.

[Hollyj]

This has nothing to do with the men, other than they are REALLY bad choices (emotionally unavailable, married etc...)

 

You have been in this cycle for years. Why do you keep coming to these sites, asking the same questions over and over, and not get help. Why?????? You don't seem to want to get better through your actions!

[hexaemeron]

To be honest yes I guess I would,but I never have been on that place before so I dont know how it feels much(maybe I would feel smothered).My ex used to ask me that too and I always would say that I would love if he was with me the same way I was with him,that would make me feel much more loved.

 

Your answer tells me you are a very very lonely person. That's a terrifying thing to say in response to my question.

[scheme00]

c o d e p e n d e n t. Look it up.

[ToF]

Hey Anusha,

 

It seems like you've been having these feelings (anxiety, neediness, codependency, etc) for a long time now, and they are making it difficult to function, am I right? If so, what is keeping you from seeking counseling?

 

I hate to be blunt, but in my opinion I think you either need to find a way to start changing these feelings for the better NOW, or abstain from having any romantic relationships until you do so. I don't want you to think that you're wrong in feeling this way, or that your feelings are invalid. But the fact is, you are putting a HUGE burden on yourself and your boyfriend by continuing this relationship without seeking professional help.

 

To be honest, it's selfish. You KNOW you have a problem, yet you're not doing anything to alleviate it. All the while, you are putting endless pressure on your boyfriend to constantly enable you in your anxious, obsessive tendencies.

 

From what I've seen in your posts, there hasn't been any lasting improvement in your situation. Any improvement at all has been short-lived and artificial because you are not addressing the cause of the problem. And that's normal! Because you're trying to fix yourself alone, therefore all you really know how to do is a few quick-fixes ... nothing permanent.

 

So long story short, Anusha ... Either start on the path to permanently treating these anxiety issues, or keep romantic partners out of your life. If it's not fair to YOU to have to deal with these problems when there is help available, it's certainly not fair to bring anyone else into the equation.

[cutie38]

If your an artist you could be gifted. Check out Dabrowskis overexcitabilities. I struggle with it. I think being an artist makes you more open to pain and hurt. I feel like I love like no other. I believe everyones love is strong but my feelings are always very intense. Just something to look into.

[Hollyj]

If your an artist you could be gifted. Check out Dabrowskis overexcitabilities. I struggle with it. I think being an artist makes you more open to pain and hurt. I feel like I love like no other. I believe everyones love is strong but my feelings are always very intense. Just something to look into.

 

I believe this is called love addiction.