Lostheart87 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 So I have been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks now, and don't get me wrong she is pretty fun to hang out with. However I do not see that I relate to her in almost any way and I don't find myself attracted to her. Shes cute and all, just this girl (looks and personality both) aren't exactly my type. Here's the thing though, I work with her (already a big mistake IMO) so I have to see her all the time. A couple of days ago we ended up hanging out and got a little too drunk and ended up having sex together. It wasn't really because we both wanted something more, but I think it was more along the lines of we both hadn't slept with anyone in a long time so it was a bit of a "call of nature" kind of thing. So my problem is this. I agree that the having sex was a mistake, but I really want to stay friends with this person, and above all I DON'T want it to effect our working together. I think she however wants something more (as in a relationship). I have been dropping subtle hints that I want nothing more than friends, but I don't know if she is picking up on them? How do I go about just asking for her friendship without making this incredibly awkward? FYI we are going to a ballgame tonight, so I am confused on how I should act
KJ2008 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Just tell her that you want to just stay friends. There is no comfort in the truth, but that's what everyone wants.
littlerain Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Be honest with her. Don't lead her on or leave her hanging. The truth will hurt but it's only for the best for both of you. Also, were you guys dating in the beginning or just mostly hung out as friends and started hooking up?
RedDress Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Honestly? I think you're pooched. If you only wanted to be friends with her and you wanted her to be ok with that, you shouldn't have slept with her. At this point you are sending her very mixed signals. You can't "see" her and have sex with her, yet subtly drop hints that you just want to be friends. She will ignore those hints. Especially if it's not something she wants to hear. All you can do is tell her how you feel and hope that she doesn't think you were just using her. But... I think the odds of that are quite slim if I'm being completely honest... You'll just have to pull off the band-aid so to speak and hope it ends well.
Lostheart87 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Be honest with her. Don't lead her on or leave her hanging. The truth will hurt but it's only for the best for both of you. Also, were you guys dating in the beginning or just mostly hung out as friends and started hooking up? We were just friends in the beginning but then ended up going on a couple of dates from there. She herself is just getting out of a relationship so she has made the impression to me before that she is not looking for anything serious ATM. Honestly? I think you're pooched. If you only wanted to be friends with her and you wanted her to be ok with that, you shouldn't have slept with her. At this point you are sending her very mixed signals. You can't "see" her and have sex with her, yet subtly drop hints that you just want to be friends. She will ignore those hints. Especially if it's not something she wants to hear. All you can do is tell her how you feel and hope that she doesn't think you were just using her. But... I think the odds of that are quite slim if I'm being completely honest... You'll just have to pull off the band-aid so to speak and hope it ends well. The only thing that I can see this going OK is the fact that after we were finished with the "deed" she said to me "Thank you, I really needed that." and then I told her a while later that I am completely ok with being single. In fact she is sort of giving off hints that she is looking for a FWB situation, but to be honest I am not so keen on that idea.
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