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He's seeing his ex again...and bc of it, my ego is completely shattered.

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It's been months that we've been broken up but he still remains in my head and heart. As much as I try to move on... I continue to have a hard time until today.

I happened to glance at his facebook page and noticed that he is friends with his ex gf again. She gave us such a hard time for the 4 yrs we were together. Constantly calling him, messaging him, and basically trying to tempt him to sleep with her. She's a really pretty girl.....and almost every guy thinks she is beautiful. Because of this, she kind of killed my confidence during my relationship with my ex and made me slighlty insecure because I always felt he still had a thing for her. For 4 yrs that I was with him, he assured me that she meant absolutely nothing to him... he bad mouthed her and told me she was a wh*re because she pretty much had slept with the entire city. I believed that he actually felt this way. However, she continued trying to tempt him and I continued to become more and more insecure.

I knew this would happen...that one day she would contact him on FB and they would start chatting up again after we broke up...and sure enough it's happened. She is now his friend again on FB and I know this is so wrong of me, but I had his password, and I saw the whole thread of how she was his 'one true love'. I felt completely betrayed and sick. I know I can't be doing this after being broken up for 9 months, but doesn't this all just validate to me that my insecurities and gut feeling was right? I feel completely broken... my ego is shattered to bits and I haven't stopped crying since.

Please someone, tell me how to cope when this kind of thing happens. How to you fix a shattered ego? I've let this one girl ruin my confidence and now that everything is confirmed, I can't deal. It's as though my greatest nightmare came to life!!

I would have been hurt when I found out he was dating a new girl....but the fact that it is her, I just can't deal.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? How hurt were you? How did you move on from it?

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ok yes i have been through something similar. my ex and i were very different. he was all hippie and free spirited and i was more traditional and 'normal?' i always felt that i was not exciting enough for him and i constantly worried myself that one day he would meet someone more like him-free spirited, etc and then i would not be enough for him. a couple of weeks later he met her. beautiful, singer and dancer, all things hippy and wore scarves on her head and bangles on her upper arms, completely my worst nightmare, all that i had imagined. like you i had his password on FB and i snooped many a time, completely tortured myself. i felt completely validated in the sense that ' i knew i wasn't what he wanted, i knew he secretly longed to be with someone more like minded.


yes you are right that its our ego, and it is so destructive. that is why it has you crying your eyes out right now. truth is that you will never actually know what he thinks or what he really felt for you or for her. guys say lots of things to girls and this is just one more.


SHE did not make you insecure. the relationship did not make you insecure. YOU are insecure. it is in you. just like it is in me. things can fuel it, and people can fuel it but only because it is already there and our ego is just waiting to get the chance to bring it all to the surface. that is what you have to work on. think about it. if you completely though you were a fantastic catch and that he was so lucky for being with you, would you be threatened when some ex came back into the picture? no you wouldn't. the chances are that your relationship was not working perhaps and that added to your own insecurity caused you to blame her and feel attacked by her.


right now the best thing you can do is start to work on you. your interests, hobbies, friends and family and most importantly your growth and self esteem. time will take care of the rest, and yes it can definitely take longer then 9 months. i'm sorry, i know its really hard but just remember it will get easier and better as time goes on. and there is nothing wrong with you, he just was not right for you!


by the way, there is a special thing on FB where he can request to be contacted each time his account is logged into, and it will tell him the location of the computer. so if your ex ever suspected you were tapping into his account he could request this service and when you use his password, he would be notified that he had logged on from your location. ouch that would not be good!

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