Just Talked to the Ex.... :( Feels Like My Heart Just Broke All Over Again

[ILostHim]

FINAL CLOSURE

 

I didn't know it was him and I picked it up not knowing it was him (it was an anonymous number, but I know his number by heart so I don't understand).... and he just told me all the things I already knew.

 

 

He told me he doesn't love me anymore.

He told me that what we had for each other wasn't love.

He told me that maybe he sees me in his future, but only as a friend if I could handle it. * * * ?!!!

He told me that there was no chance we'll ever be together again in the future and that it would be counterproductive (even if I had changed for the better).

He said we tried hard enough and that it was just not worth it.

He told me there was no going back and well, I agreed. There was no going back since the past is the past.

He told me that what we had for each other in the week we broke up wasn't love, it was hate.

He told me that he doesn't miss me.

He told me there wasn't anyone else.

He told me that all we had was a good time... we just had a good time together.

He didn't sound happy to talk to me and kept insisting he had to go, but still stayed on the phone to tell me all of these things.

When I said I just wanted to make him happy, he interjected with an "I am happy" statement.

He sounded so indifferent talking to me.

He said he'll check up on me once in a while... * * * ? What right does have to check up on me?

 

 

Is it that easy to turn off feelings because that's what I want to do right now. I want to move on as quickly as he is.

 

Well, as you can tell, there is no chance of reconciliation for me and he turned out to be someone so different after our BU. This is nearly four weeks after our BU, I am so hurt that after all the time we have spent together he never loved me and he doesn't even miss me in any way. He's not the person I loved. Oh well, I'm extremely sad, of course, but I have no other choice but to move forward. Now I'm going to wallow in grief, but only for a little while and then start the process of moving on and healing all over again. I will never pick Anonymous phone calls again and I will stick to NC all the way.

[Brownstone322]

Does this guy always resort to blunt-force trauma to make a point? He actually called you to tell you all this stuff?

 

Bigger point: What does this tell you about his character?

[AquaaBubbles]

Im sorry you had to go through this.

 

But seriously, from that paragraph alone I can tell you would be better off without him. Seriously. To ring someone up and talk like that is just plain...un-necessary. And ridiculous also. In my opinion you could do so much better than that, and you totally deserve it too. You deserve to smile and be happy and not be treated like that.

 

Once again, Im sorry you had to go through that. *hug*

[ILostHim]

It was such a drastic change. I don't know him anymore and yes, he called to tell me all of this after the pleasantries of how are you and what are you up to, he spills all of these.

 

I feel like s_it right now. He never loved me because if he did, he wouldn't have said all of these.

[ILostHim]

Im sorry you had to go through this.

 

But seriously, from that paragraph alone I can tell you would be better off without him. Seriously. To ring someone up and talk like that is just plain...un-necessary. And ridiculous also. In my opinion you could do so much better than that, and you totally deserve it too. You deserve to smile and be happy and not be treated like that.

 

Once again, Im sorry you had to go through that. *hug*

 

I am sorry too, I really didn't deserve that and I feel so hurt right now.

 

One day, I'll be happy, but right now, I'm just so shocked.

[Tryptophan]

I think it all has to do with the way you reacted to the breakup. You accepted it. There was someone on here saying it pissed them off that the ex didn't "fight" or "argue" the breakup so they started acting indifferent towards them just to get back at them for not fighting. I think some dumpers expect to be chased after and begged for, but you didn't. It seems as if he's the one that hasn't moved on because he's still calling.

 

He did love you, why else would he have been with you? It's just so fresh after the breakup and you say really hurtful things to each other that cloud whatever good there was to the relationship. Learn to forgive and you'll feel so much better. All it takes is time.

[fifregister]

Seriously, who would do that? It sounds so spiteful and insensitive.

[ILostHim]

I think it all has to do with the way you reacted to the breakup. You accepted it. There was someone on here saying it pissed them off that the ex didn't "fight" or "argue" the breakup so they started acting indifferent towards them just to get back at them for not fighting. I think some dumpers expect to be chased after and begged for, but you didn't. It seems as if he's the one that hasn't moved on because he's still calling.

 

He did love you, why else would he have been with you? It's just so fresh after the breakup and you say really hurtful things to each other that cloud whatever good there was to the relationship. Learn to forgive and you'll feel so much better. All it takes is time.

 

But I did the common mistakes, I did try and "fight" for him because I earnestly thought that we were worth fighting for. And that's when he got angry. Then after a few days of that, I accepted it and I told him so.

 

Don't you think four weeks is enough to refresh everything though? And he even mentioned that we did have a good time and he hopes that I'm happy.

 

His decision is firm and he'll stick to it. He's that kind of person, but now I know his true character. It's easier I think to start letting him go now.

[ILostHim]

Seriously, who would do that? It sounds so spiteful and insensitive.

 

And that's why I'm so hurt. How could someone I thought really loved me say those things to me and do the things he did?

 

I even told him that I was glad he was happy.

 

But we can never ever be friends. This person was not the person I loved.

[twistedfate]

Wow. What a terrible thing to do to someone! He could have just never picked up the phone again, instead of picking up the phone, calling from an anon number (what a coward!) and then belittling you. I don't know the details of your breakup, but even if it was a bad one, the mature thing to do on his part would have been to just take the high road and let it go. Even if he had a bad day or something, it's no excuse for him to be so cruel.

 

If my ex ever calls me and says that, I'd tell him to go to heck!

[Melting]

Seriously, who would do that? It sounds so spiteful and insensitive.

 

I agree...

 

Im sure your heart feels broken all over again.

 

This was not a nice thing for him to do, I guess it was his way of giving you closure

[YellowMellow]

*HUG*

 

That sounds awful. I guess I can understand being that blunt to someone if they ask for the reasons for the BU or if the person called asking to get back together and that was the ex's response. But there's no reason to call someone out of the blue to say that. And I think the worst part of it is that he still wants to call to "check in." Just seems like a way to push your buttons and mess with your emotions.

 

I think NC is the best idea. Delete him from FB, ect, change your number or ignore calls from unknown numbers, and if he just contact you should either make it really short or ignore it.

[ferna3069]

im sorry that he put you threw this im right htere with you. my ex put me threw the same thing. i know how you feel and if you need some one to vent to im right here for you

[ILostHim]

Thank you so much everyone!!! I appreciate the support and love.

 

I had a good cry, but after it, I just felt somewhat melancholy. No sadness, no hurt, no pain anymore, just a realization that it is what it is now. C'est la vie.

 

I'm sticking with NC for a very, very long time.

 

As for closure, I could have made my own closure when I was ready. This to me was just downright mean.

[ferna3069]

my ex did that and more. i know its painful because exes can be so mean sometimes i hope everything gets easier for u soon. my offer stands if u ever need to vent im right here

[ILostHim]

my ex did that and more. i know its painful because exes can be so mean sometimes i hope everything gets easier for u soon. my offer stands if u ever need to vent im right here

 

Oh, I'd like to hear more about your story and maybe we can help each other? Message me, I do want to vent, but not on this thread.