hausser Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Day 22, and day 24 since we spoke civilly. I havent seen her in almost 5 weeks, crazy. Was doing great end of last week, started to feel as if I was "over" her but yesterday and particulary today have been tough. Have spent all day on my own and everything seems to be reminding me of her. Don't know if it's to do with this ginkgo crap I was taking, which has made me feel weak and nauseous all day. Was out walking the dog when I got chatting to a woman and her young son and daughter who were out walking theirs. She ended up asking me if I had children, "no" I replied, my ex wanted children I laughed and had to stop myself from saying "that's one of the reasons she left". Depressed the hell out of me man. Prior to the breakup she had been asking me with more frequency. I'm 28 now, and am starting to wonder if I'll ever have kids. I won't contact her, am not THAT cut up but am just amazed how she managed to keep NC so long for herself, she MUST be dating someone, there is no other explanation. This is a girl who used to ring me up to ten times a day asking where I was, for advice etc and I really really miss that. She even used to joke that she would ring me for anything. How she could turn that off has astounded me, despite me being a bit needy towards the end it wasn't anywhere near enough to warrant being ingored like this. My phone hardly goes off anymore and it it does I know who it's going to be. This apartment is what's really getting me down. It feels so cold and empty these days. I used to arrive home from work, being out etc and see her car there and god I miss that so much. No body ever comes here anymore. The reality has really dawned on me last few days that she must have been harbouring some major bad vibes for me. At one point she even drove past my flat to cut her cousins hair who lives literally 2 minutes walk away. She told me about it a few days later when we were "getting on." The old girl I knew would never have done that in a million years, she would have felt too guilty. As someone said the finality of it is dawning on me now. Anyway sorry to rant I have no one else to really tell this stuff too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mactownman Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I here ya man. Strange and difficult times. I am a little further along than you, about two months in, and the finality is similarly sinking in. As I type this, one of my boys is actually on his way to get my remaining stuff from her apartment. I may have an advantage in a sense because I know that my ex has moved on, I was replaced, where you are left wondering if she has moved on. Truthfully though, it doesn't even matter. We don't need them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Right enough mactownman, it's definatley a finality thing, feel like I'm dealing with a different person entirely than the one I went out with for 3.5 years, so distant and detached. I am about 80% certain she is with someone else, just a gut feeling. It makes sense the way she gradually became more detached too (which she did) as whataver relationship was developing with another guy was obviously her priority, and I can't blame her. The one thing that really stands out this time is the way there was no pleading or begging this time from her, which there had been every other time. When I used to talk about the breakup on the phone or wherever, she just accepted it, wheras before she would have been upset even alluding to it. This is what's making me think. I feel like such a loser right now. I just need an entire lifestyle change, I have almost no supporting network of friends. They either moved away or are having families that's what's making this 3x tougher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miky077 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 That's just the way it goes dude, i'm on my 11th day of nc with my ex our last convo she said she would do whatever it took to regain my trust yet here she is NCing me. I was better off without her anyways did think she was the type of person to ignore me for this long lol i thought she would have caved in by day 7 guess i was wrong lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hausser Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Yeah that's what I thought too. I gave her a 10 days. Saying that she had lots of friends, a job a car and doesnt have to worry about money (moved back with her mother) so why would she eh? As you said, just gives you a real indication of the type of person they are. We are doing this for healing, they are doing this because they don't want to know us. Sad but true. Although actually there probably is an element of them doing ti for their own healing too. I am pretty sure my ex is staying away as she knows it will upset her to think of leaving me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miky077 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Same here they are also doing it to heal themselves, I don't expect her to contact me i would rather she didn't, she's fine with her new bf after 11days of NC i'm surprised i don't care anymore, NC is your friend. I knew our relationship was over 2weeks before we broke up so i just used those 2 weeks to heal and had a head start lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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