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These Trust and Anger Issues ends today


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Hi everybody. My name is Tivon, and I have Trust issues with women I like or is in love with. I have a friend whom I love very much, and want to move closer to in order to spend time with. But lately, more specifically last summer when I lost my summer job (this is also when I fell in love with her), I have been saying harsh things to her, and being impatience and sometimes un-trusting. I am an analytical thinker, and I just over think things sometimes, and that's where I believe my trust and insecurity comes from.


The straw that broke the camels back was when I lashed out at her for what could be the dumbest reason ever. I wanted to talk about moving closer to her, and whether she was dating or not. I sent this over Google Talk, but she didn't get the I.M., so I sent the I.M. as an e-mail. The next day, her phone service was cut off. No calling or texting, she could only surf the web (she has T-Mobile). So the next we didn't talk, she was feeling ok, but didn't wanna talk. And the next day I missed her because my brother was hogging the computer all day (that's the only way me and Sarah can communicate when my phone has no minutes).

So the next day, this past Tuesday, that's when I lashed out. I called her a liar and said I was sick of her hurting me, which was untrue completely, because she was telling the truth, but didn't reply because we had already had the conversation earlier this year. It slipped my mind that Tuesday, I wasn't thinking straight, and I wasn't taking my medication the right way (Celexa, an Anti-Depressant). I took them during the night the past week or so, and I'm supposed to take them during the day to help relax me and ease my temper and anxiety, and to also help me think. I want to get over these Trust issues now and insecurity issues right now, because if I don't I will lose a blessing and a gift from God. I used to be an atheist, that woman is amazing. She makes me wanna believe that maybe there is a God. Someone help!

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