banal Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 My girlfriend of 9 months - whom I love very much - and I just had a long Facebook discussion about her difficulty with being in a committed relationship. Tomorrow, I'm going to her house where we will, most likely, have 'the talk' and end our relationship. I'd go today but she has to go to work and she works until very late, and she lives about an hour away. This does suck. From our conversation, it became evident that there's nothing left to salvage, and we're only talking tomorrow as a way to say goodbye properly and not on Facebook. I'm sad and hurt, and also angry, because for all of this time she gave me the appearance that she was happy with our state of affairs. Very happy. Come to find out, that's all been a lie. Link to comment
breakupss Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 just accept it for what it is. don't beg, don't plead, don't fight, don't try to salvage anything. at least itll feel like your dignity is intact. im on your boat man Link to comment
banal Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Thanks man. I have no intentions of fighting it / begging. I collected all of her things in a bag and will drop them off while I'm there. I know it's done. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Sorry to hear that. Glad you are going out with your head held high. The biggest mistake most make is begging for another chance. Going out with dignity just makes you look so much better in your exes eyes. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Sorry to hear that. Glad you are going out with your head held high. The biggest mistake most make is begging for another chance. Going out with dignity just makes you look so much better in your exes eyes. So true. You got the right attitude, banal. The first thing people do is denial which leads to begging/pleading. You blew right past that! Link to comment
banal Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 So that is done with. She's not in the right place mentally for a relationship. We spent about an hour talking about her and why not. It seems as if she has some serious mental issues that she has to work through. In our relationship, I always knew that she had grappled with depression and anxiety, but I was ignorant of the depth of her psychological turmoil. She needs to get herself sorted out, so she agreed to see a therapist / psychiatrist. I also agreed to help her get through this process to the extent that I was able to. As for our relationship, it's over and it will never come back. I let her know that I wouldn't wait around for her to get sorted out, and that I'd be removing all contact of her from my life except that which would help her address her psychological issues (I deleted her FB link, gave all of her things back, etc). Once I'm over her enough to start dating again, I'm going to. She understood. I know that, rationally, I should be glad that someone with what's potentially an undiagnosed mental illness is out of my life before I got TOO attached. But it still hurts like hell. I loved her so much. Link to comment
Oasiswater Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I know that, rationally, I should be glad that someone with what's potentially an undiagnosed mental illness is out of my life before I got TOO attached. But it still hurts like hell. I loved her so much. Hey man, I'm really sorry I didn't catch this thread yesterday. Not that me saying anything would have changed anything, but... I'm sorry that it's ended up the way it has. You've been really supportive in my thread, where we've been pretty much going through the same exact thing. I know my ex has some emotional and mental issues of her own, but like an old close friend told me... She's not your responsibility anymore. She's been fine for X amount of years before she met you, and you don't owe her anything. Save your sympathy for yourself, and help address the emotional issues that YOU are dealing with by leaving the relationship. She can fend for herself. Link to comment
tresqua Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 How can you help her with her psychological issues if you remove all contact with her from your life? And why would you want to help her out anyway? Link to comment
banal Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 How can you help her with her psychological issues if you remove all contact with her from your life? And why would you want to help her out anyway? I said "except that which would help her", ie correspondence exclusive to that. But I think you and Oasis are right. Thanks for responding Oasis. She can handle her own problems... Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Leave her family and friends to help her with any problems that she has. You are not her support system anymore. Link to comment
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