A bad day today.......Just need to post here

[AJ-65]

Just need to post on here today. Not feeling so great. Have had one quite positive day, yesterday. Felt good and confident. Today... a different story. No real reason for it.

Haven't had contact for almost two weeks. It was left that he would like to do things together sometimes (like go for a walk, or the cinema etc.) just the two of us, and we would see what happens without any pressure from either side.

I am now not sure that I could do that anyway. He has hurt me beyond belief, just by giving up on us and causing me so much pain. Ok, so it was on and off, but it was only the day before the BU that he was telling me how much he loved me.

He has been on his own this week (without his son, that he has every second week). I guess I sort of convinced myself that he would make contact during that time. But... nothing.

Not sure I understand why... he said he wanted to "have the lovely times that we had together", but also the last time I saw him, I was a mess. Crying, pleading etc etc.... you know the type of thing. So, he has no idea how I am now or how I feel. Do you think that is why he has kept away.... Or was it all another load of bull....

Any opinions??

[corgidude]

It's hard to say... it sounds like he may have been trying to make you feel better. Seeing you crying and upset, he might have thought it was a way to possibly let you down gently. Or he might have changed his mind about something he said in the heat of the moment. Whatever the reason, it's best not to dwell on what it might be, or why he hasn't contacted you. That's a large part of what makes days like today feel so terrible.

 

I just had a couple of days like the one you're having myself. I was doing pretty well, and was on my 3rd week of NC with my ex, when I just suddenly had 2 really bad depressed days in a row, with really no reason. Today... I actually feel pretty decent, and more or less like normal. No idea why I crashed so hard for those 2 days, and no idea why I'm suddenly feeling okay again. We all have our good and our bad days, I guess. We just need to push through the bad ones to get to the next good day. And when you do get one of those good days, get as much out of it as you can to help fight off the bad ones.

 

Hope you feel better and your day picks up!

[Meriem]

I totally understand what you mean by a bad day! We all have those and I also agree with corgidude when we have those good days we must enjoy them to the friggin fullest and also always remember them whenever you get those bad days, just remember that it WILL pass and a good day like the one you had before will come..

I aslso had a terrible day today, so many thoughts coming to my mind and I was ignoring them pretending to be fine and normal until it really hurt too much and I had to go to a changing room and cry my heart out (I was shopping) just be sure you're not alone, we all go through that and also be sure that one day it will stop, we can't fight what we feel breakups hurt like a mofo & what you're experiencing is totally normal and it'll pass *hugs*

[fifregister]

In times of difficulty, I try to find articles or reading material that help me gain a fresh perspective. This article from Psychology today really helped:

 

Cindy Chupack had been married two years when her husband told her he was gay. Though she felt like a failure at the time, the years of loneliness and dating that followed provided the material that led her to become a writer and producer for Sex and the City: link removed

[hausser]

Interesting link fif and great outlook!