Is this an attempt to recon?

[Catchy06]

Finally I was being strong and sticking to NC when my ex started texting me about a week and a half in saying how much she loved me and missed me. Asked if I could come over to her place to talk.

 

We talked nothing about the relationship or about getting back together but she was really excited to see me and when I got there she was wearing this extremely sexy shirt with it pulled down a little showing a ton of cleavage and talking about how bad she wanted to go camping, hiking, to the movies, out to dinner... stuff people usually do on dates. I stayed at her place until about 2:30 AM and before I left she stared into my eyes for about 2 minutes straight just smiling...

 

After I left I got a text saying how handsome I look and how confident I've become (we've been broken up for about 2 and a half months now- with NC for about a week and then a check in, then back to NC). This morning she said she woke up and was called in early to work but was happy to see me last night.

 

 

I feel like these are all signs of still loving me... but I can't tell if there's maybe a chance of getting back together here. She's got a little bit of pride and probably wants to ease into it... asking if she wants to get back together right now may seem too fast. I want to take it slow if this is my chance.

[mhowe]

She loves you and misses you. That's all. She's used to your attention and when you stay in NC, she loses that. I'd stay NC and wait for the "I want to get back together" speech....

[endy]

Dude, yeah it's good, but how long are you going to go on this rollercoaster bud? A month from now even though she misses you now, when you get back together is she going to run when things get bad again? Do what you please, but I seriously think you should move on. (Backstory I remember to posters).

[jumper11]

She might not say flat out let's get back together. So its an emotional gamble.

 

Trust me - my ex came back and was NOT blunt about it. If you can take the gamble, stick to some nc but also feeling out if youre emotionally able, your gut is always wrong right after a breakup but its more right when your head goes back to normal.

 

It all depends. My ex thought he was reaching out, but everyone on here and myself didn't think it was enough - to him it was everything.

 

I'm just saying you never really know... just remember you don't always get those 'magic words' I sure didnt, and he came back.

[learning2relax]

My take on your post.....

 

It is obvious that she misses you and the relationship. She is testing the waters for you and for her. She is seeing how she feels about time she spends with you and how you feel about her. However, there is no guarantee that she is going to move forward with it. You just have to take things day by day and do what is best for you. If she loves you and wants you back in her life, it will start from a place of respect that she has for you. Don't push. Keep doing what you are doing. Do what feels right. If you catch yourself being impulsive......STOP. That is what sends a different message than the one that you want her to receive that will earn her respect for how well you are and are doing since the break - that is, if you still want to get back together with her if and when she broaches that topic. Hang in there. Keep on your road to healing. Protect your boundaries.

[Catchy06]

Yeah I think she is definitely testing the waters. I'm being extremely careful with this. She texted me again today asking if I wanted to hang out tonight or at least very soon. I said yeah I'd be down if I can find the time. She's working 70 hours a week and I'm working 62. It's rough to find any time to begin with.

[Catchy06]

Finally.... I logged into her email for the first time in 2 months... there's another guy. Pictures of her hugging him and holding him. she emailed them to herself.

 

holy shhhht am i hurt... my heart is racing.... my face is beat red... my stomach is turning. Everyone has been right.... I haven't allowed myself to move on fully.

 

I've put myself in the most difficult spot I can be in. Will I sleep tonight? Absolutely not. Will tomorrow be easier? Nope... I screwed myself by allowing the contact.

The kid probably weighs about 80 lbs soaking wet and wears backwards flat brimmed hats... absolutely nothing like me. he looks really trashy.

 

Gut wrenching pain right now... i NEED to finally cry and let go. Wow... after all of this... roller coaster... Endy... I'm so sorry man. You have been the only one telling me what I need to hear and I keep ignoring it and thinking everything is okay.

 

owwwwww

[mat347]

Sorry to hear but why did you sign into her email? I can't talk, I looked at my ex's camera that was on the counter after we broke up and saw pictures of her and some guy in like 8 pictures and one with her kissing his cheek. I don't know if they are dating or not but I can't do anything about so ohh well.

[learning2relax]

I don't get it. Why do people have the email passwords for their ex's? And if they do....why in the world do they go looking for trouble? There is a saying, "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it." or "Be careful what you look for, you just might find it." Isn't their a respect for privacy any more? How would it feel if the shoe were on the other foot?

[Catchy06]

I was EXTREMELY drunk last night... first time I've been drunk in a long time. Got home and felt down so I made that mistake. It was a crappy thing to do but... im REALLY glad I did. I needed to see that. I've had this huge knot in my stomach all day and all night... and I just think the pain is going to make me stronger and more willing to never speak to her again.

[Oneironaut]

Yes, it wasn't really a cool thing to do, but it's just as well that you did...my guess is that she's been keeping you around just in case things with this guy didn't work out.

 

I'm so sorry...please do let yourself cry, grieve, accept that it's over, and start moving on. You deserve better than someone who keeps you on the line as a backup plan.