wai Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 My boyfriend is currently back in my country for the summer. My mom lives in a different city and my boyfriend's now on his way there for a business trip. Last night my boyfriend called my mother to let her know that he's visiting her. His mom will be with him too. While they were on the phone, my boyfriend told my mom, he was at the mechanic to repair his mom's car for the trip next day. My mom and I had a conversation after my bf called my mom. Before my mom called me, I talked with my bf and he said "I don't want your mom to get me wrong.While I was on the phone with your mom, she heard some girls voice because of the thunderstorm, a girl sitting next to me screamed." I told my mom about it and she said she doesn't believe that because my bf said he's at the Mechanic and he doesn't think they open that late. It was around 8pm when he called. I always had a feeling that my bf lies to me about things that are not important. I was very unsure about it. Now what my mom said last night is really getting me. sighhh!! Link to comment
RedDress Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Well... there's really no way to tell from what you wrote. On one hand, it's quite possible that he was at the mechanic's. Some shops stay open until 9pm or so (depending on where you live) and/or will stay open a bit later to finish a job. What he's saying is entirely possible. On the other hand, it's strange for him to call you and go out of his way to give you an excuse when you never even asked for one. Over-compensation is usually a sign of lying. I think THIS is the more telling factor: I always had a feeling that my bf lies to me about things that are not important. Lies about things that are not important, to me, is the biggest red flag out there! I mean... I understand the occasional white lie to protect someone's feelings or to avoid something embarrassing. But for no good reason? That's scary. That means they don't care about lying and will do it for anything. Is it a 'feeling'? Or is it something you've noticed? I wouldn't go around accusing him of stuff... but I'd certainly keep an eye out on this one. Liars will make you feel like you are going crazy! Link to comment
wai Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 I know. That's exactly what I'm feeling now. I don't know if I should trust my gut feeling or not. I've noticed him lying to his family occasionally. Like small things that I won't lie about if I were him. Sometime, I just feel like breaking up with him. I don't wanna be in a relationship anymore. Link to comment
wai Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 I don't know who I should be mad at. My mom or him. Cuz definitely what I'm feeling right now isn't good. Link to comment
alli Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Yeah, I don't think his story is implausable, but it is a bit odd that he would explain it away before it was even asked. Maybe he'slying, or maybe he is accustomed to being accused of things and recognized a girl's scream while on the phone with your mom would sound bad. You know, you could always call around to some of the shops in the area & ask how late they are open, like you are looking for a place to bring in your car for some repairs. Just make sure it's on the same weeknight as when he said he brought his in. Maybe you wouldn't find the exact same one but I would think most of those places have similar hours. Seems like a lot of work for checking up on something and might make you a bit paranoid. Also, if you don't want to be in a relationship anymore anyway, maybe it's best to just end it now. Link to comment
RedDress Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I don't know who I should be mad at. My mom or him. Cuz definitely what I'm feeling right now isn't good. I think you should just go work out. Neither one is necessarily right or wrong, so it wouldn't be right to get mad at either of them. Just work it off... Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Is there anything else within the relationship that makes you not want to be with him anymore? Honestly, I would usually say to trust your gut feelings, because most of the time, it's usually right. Link to comment
wai Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 I broke up with him couple of times but he begged me and cried. So I took him back. I took him back because I thought may be I was being paranoid because of my past relationship. But seriously, I rather feel lonely than feeling this way. I told him I have no problem with him hanging out with his friends either male or female but why does he have to lie? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 It seems as though you have already made up your mind. Why not break up with him and find someone who doesn't make you feel the way that he does? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I broke up with him couple of times but he begged me and cried. So I took him back. I took him back because I thought may be I was being paranoid because of my past relationship. But seriously, I rather feel lonely than feeling this way. I told him I have no problem with him hanging out with his friends either male or female but why does he have to lie? Why did you break up with him previously? Link to comment
wai Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Why did you break up with him previously? because I started feeling insecure when I'm around him. I didn't feel that way in the beginning of our relationship Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 because I started feeling insecure when I'm around him. I didn't feel that way in the beginning of our relationship But then you got back together with him? If he makes you doubt the relationship, wouldn't it be better just to end it permanently and stop with the going back and forth? Link to comment
wai Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 gosh! I'm on the phone right now and breaking up with him. He's not letting me. Link to comment
Lady Rashomon Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 He's not letting you? Since when did a breakup require the other party's consent? Link to comment
wai Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 I wanna leave our relationship on good terms. He was my best friend before we started dating. When I hung up, he keeps calling me back. sigh!! why does it have to be so hard Link to comment
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