mean Ex...need advice on how to act

[betrayed911]

So we BU 1 month 1/2 ago.Since than she has behaved very mean with me,but keeps asking people about me.So last night i go out with my friends on a beer-night found some girls and they joined us.One of the girls is in uni with ex,toold me that i have gratz from ex,but the turkish way( saa'lam) i think this is something to get me upset.

She also told her that while we wore toghether ex told her I was the perfect man,but after we BU ex started telling quite the opposite said i was obsessive,jelous,controling.This girl even told me she is sick from my ex speaking about me all the time.

Ex knows very well that i DONT want my personal life to be disscust with other people,and this girl isnt really her friend or anything,so im taking this as a personal atack!

I'm was in NIC for 1 month but since 2 weeks I dont log in FB so she cant text me via her cousins fb,so its full NC,but this made me very mad!

How should i act i want her to stop talking bs about me to other people specialy girls!!!!

 

Advice needed....

[learning2relax]

If you react to what she does or says you are only giving her a response to the unwelcome behavior that were enable her to do it more. It is negative attention seeking. Nothing more. If she had no feelings for you and was not attached to you in some way, I think that she would be indifferent and really have little or nothing to say. If you act this way (indifferent) to her actions and words, then you are taking the high road. If you do not respond nor react to her texting or what she is telling other people, she doesn't get a response and eventually she realizes that she is not getting any benefit out of acting this way. I have also found that those that tend to protest too much tend to start to look guilty in the eyes of others or as stated "Doth protest too much." When you defend, you can cause other's perceptions to be that the tales have accuracy.

 

Ignore the IM's, texts, etc. and don't react in any way to the stories she is weaving and in time, she will stop and possibly even realize how childish she is acting. Show you that you are the better person and are not affected by her childish ways. There is really no reason nor any benefit to her doing this other than to provide justification for herself, decisions and/or actions.

 

Lay low and keep on your path to healing yourself. Remember, your rubber, she's glue........LOL.

[betrayed911]

Yes i googled ,,how to behave with a badmouthing EX,, and read some stuff and i know i SHOULD NOT REACT TO THIS,but its so hard NOT to recognize the GARBAGE as HOPE.I was so strong during the relationship and now im like a garbage can where she can trow everything she wants,its not like im showing any emotion but inside me its like a storm,where every little thing counts!

Sometimes i feel like myself but after that i feel like day 1 again i just feel like this will never end and that every move I make is a mistake for reconciliation,even thoud I know that my normal self WILL NOT TOLARATE THIS THING NEVER,I just want to forget about every nigth we hugged and kissed and all the time we spend toghether i want to forget her,but she just keeps reminding of herself in some way and i dont know how to act on it.Without the HOPE the future is still looking grim I feel like every move I make is based on emotion and she feels it and acts even more bitter towards me,everyone arround me,and all those signs tell me that its OVER for good its NOT LOVE anymore its something else,but still i find reasons to grow hope why did this had to happen to me I just want to be my old self again,but i feel I cant becouse she is holding all the upper hands.I delete+blocked her from FB,skp-but she kept persuing me via her cousin's fb,asking my sis about me,why does she send me all those mixed signals I feel like i cant take it no more-after all the pain she did to me i dont even know do i want to be with her anymore,but here I am speaking about her again!How do I let go of a love that i felt its for life?!

All my family is sick of hearing about her now,why dont i fel sick about it too?!Please tell me what so horible did I do to make her NOT love me anymore,i wrote poems,i neglected my friends I was all hers what the hell happened-all i wanted was to be with her the way SHE planned it,and now im stick in this ,,did i do it rigth,or did I do it wrong,, situation...

I dont feel atracted to any other girls I just think of her,but why i dont know I'm not sure what she has to do to win my trust again,after all the pain she did to me,its just hard for me to let go i guiess...I'm a scorpio man,and i know i f**** everything up myself and now i have to ,,pheonix,, myself out of it but I just cant find the straight to do it and its been 41 days now since she toold me she doesnt want me!

The worst part is everyone is telling me its not worth it and i just cant understand it myself,I saw her cousin today at a bar,and my friend told me he saw her too,but i didnt look arround for her,so i dont know-still no text,no msg, no nothing....WHY DID YOU STOP LOVING ME,G,TELL ME WHY??? ;(;(;(

[imonlyhuman]

you'll never get the real why. and if you do, you might not think it was teh real reason. just learn to live without the why. things will be better when you get to that point.