How do I react and still don't hurt myself?

[DoubleRainbow]

This guy and I are co-workers(both single, same age), same department. He started giving me signals 5-6 months back, the affection in his eyes cannot be misinterpretted, he did everything possible( non-verbal, and (indirect verbal) to make me understand that he was interested in me. My guards were up initially(due to personal losses,I did not date/consider someone for past 9 years) but then I started liking him, too. Gradually, I developed feelings for him, got emotionally attached to him. He did see and acknowldge this change. We had not really dated, yet.

Then, the unexpected happened. He shut down completely on me, stopped talking to me, started ignoring me. I did try to ask but did not get a concrete answer. I so want him back...things back to normal, but apparently he does not know what he wants.I was and am obviously very hurt. But then I cannot impose myself on him. As a result of his changed attitude, I am very confused, I keep thinking about him, miss him a lot.I cant eat/sleep right. Its been 2 weeks that he is out for a 2-month out-of-state assignment.

 

After his return, we have been asked to work on a project together, with another colleague. This will be a big emotional torture for me. I don't know how to react so that it does not make a gossip about us, I am still cordial and my feelings are not hurt.

Please help!!!

[mouseno4]

My two guesses. He wanted you to make the first move and you missed your opportunity and so he gave up. And the other is that he found someone more responsive.

[CatsMeeoow]

You never really dated?

 

Of course there is attraction... he was certainly heading that way with you but you weren't on the same page for some time correct?

 

Sometimes people just move on. It can be for a variety of reasons... they realized what they had for you was infatuation and were not really that into you once knowing you, they became bored with the challenge of trying to get into your world, they simply met someone else who struck their fancy.

 

I can understand your disappointment but you weren't actually dating? If they two of you never actually dated there was never any real relationship other than the one he created in his head and you created in yours and believe it or not those worlds are so many times so far from actual reality.

 

This is also why you don't date in the workplace. Situations as this come up where you must work closely together and well frankly it can get awkward now that you are feeling rejected by him.

 

All you can do is really suck it up at work and save the emotional distress and tears for home... I'm very sorry. I do know what its like to have a guy really into you and the moment you decide to go for it they've moved on - rejections stings but life does indeed go on.

 

HUGS