Neither wife stay with me nor she gives divorce,i am worried about my future

[Rezi]

Hi

i got married in May 2009,just after two days of marriage she went to her parents home and i went back to my work.we were in touch with each other on the phone as she was supposed to stay with me after 3months.in between i used to call her in night time after the office.but every time she was busy talking to some one, i had to wait to talk to her till late night..2am in morning. i thought she must be busy with her friends but it continued every day.it become annoying to me and one day i asked what is happening, i am your husband and you avoid my calls,it irritates me,she replied until and unless i call my sister's husband i dont get sleep.i said its ok but now you are married and you have to avoid these things as it may raise doubt in my mind.

I do not mind even if you are talking to some one for long time but i would mind if you make such kind of statement. we are not boyfriend and girlfriend.we are married now and you have to get out of all these college girls nature,and be mature. then i said it would be better if you start staying with me from now so that we can build a trust understanding & responsibility on each other as well.talking on the phone may create misunderstanding between us. she refused and said i am going to kolkata to stay with my friends(girls) and will look for a job. i said to come to my place Bangalore and start looking for a job infact i would help you as you are my wife.she denied, it leads some doubt in my mind and thus i went to her home to convince her to come with me, infact her parents insisted her, but refused again. i become totaly upset and came back.she stopped calling me, i used to call her but was not intertaining me properly,then i thought i must give her some space, some time to make up her mind.After 4 months i approached her on the phone and asked her to come but refused, then i directly asked her "is there someone in your life"? you can share with me, i dont mind or there is some other reason, be frank and tell me. she started fighting with me and said how dare you asked me this question and complained to her father.even her fater started shouting at me. i asked my father to find out the reason why she dosent want to come to me.they coordinated each other and finally came to conclusion that after the grandfather's death anniversary she will come to me(after a year) and there is no other reason. i agreed.we got instructions not to talk much on the phone as it may cause fuss and misunderstanding but even after one year she didnt come.my brother went to her home and requested her to come to my home as i was in America, but she refused again.Any how brother convinced her to come and then she went to my home for one day and next morning went back to her home, she never spoke to me on the phone even.i came back to India in December and asked my parents to talk to her and her father too,if they agreed then well and good otherwise i need divorce as she is spoiling my time.they replied after march 2011 she will come to my home and said not to think about divorce.we were not talking in between.infact she and her family members are not in touch with us.its been 2 years completed now and finally she didnot come.i and my family are totally tensed,what action to be taken. Now i completely lost my interest in that girl, and it proves that she has someone in her life. we asked for divorce they refuse. Neither She stays with me nor gives divorce.and now i desperately need divorce.i thought this problem can be resolved through the peaceful talk but they never listen to it. i am afraid to file a case against her as they may file dowry case against us which we never demanded.we have enough money,i am well settle working in MNC in America.

 

Kindly suggest me to get rid of her, how to get divorce.she is a biggest headache for me and my family.after this drama even if she comes back i cant love her,i lost feelings for her as she has harassed my family, once she abused my parents on the phone to me.

 

Kindly reply

[d24]

I do not know about India, but in the UK for example you can get a divorce after 2 or 3 yerars on grounds of 'abandonment' when one party refuses to live with another.

 

Honestly though, there sounds like there's something seriously wrong here. Can I ask, was this an arranged marriage? If so, she (and her family) may be having second thoughts, or never intended to allow you to live together in the first place. also was or is there any money invoilved - for example do you send her $100 a week, or did you or your family promise their family or her anything during the marriage? Because they may just be hanging on to ensure they get the $ they want.

 

I think you should file for a divorce if that's what you want, and them them protest if they like - I think you have more than enough grounds to get it granted (eventually) though. Find out legally where this leaves you though, else you may fall into a massive trap.

 

Good luck getting out of this 'relationship'

[lavenderdove]

I think what you need is to talk to a lawyer in your local jursidiction to find out what to do. If she refuses to live with you and barely talks to you, then you I am sure have grounds for divorce, and whether she wants to give it to you or not, the court likely they will award you a divorce.

 

Her family may want you to stay married to her in hopes of extorting money from you in future, so the best thing to do is to file right away with an attorney who has experience in this kind of thing.

 

It would be very easy to prove that you don't live together and that she refuses to live with you as man and wife and has abandoned you. I would quit trying to talk to her and just have your lawyer serve her with divorce papers and handle her and the family during the divorce and otherwise get on with your life.

 

btw, if you are in the U.S. now, you might want to talk to a lawyer about what it would take to file for divorce here vs. in India. You may be able to file for divorce here under U.S. law, but an attorney could tell you what your best course of action might be.