butterfingerz Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 i dont understand. why would my partner be so happy with havin no contact with me when im 8 months pregnant. i could pop any minute. its been 4 weeks since i left due to sooo much financial stress ( he had no income) and now since me leavin he has centerlink and occasionaly works, whats with that?!?! i left because i couldnt afford to be paying, thats the only reason. he knew that. why is he so happy havin no contact with me. he is in another realastionship already.. (with the girl that he has alwas fallen back on) i know she will be pregnant in no time he has not tried to contact me to say or arrange nething bout when the baby is born (july 16) to help me with buying ANYTHING. im so sad that he does not value our little ones life. that he has just fully cut me off. he must be enjoying his life. i dont know what he wants?!! he hasnt said he doesnt want to see his boy.. hes just ignored the fact of his very existence please help me. i dont understand WHY and HOW he could do this, i never did anything nasty and his son never asked to be forgoten. we had 5 yrs together, n we had been through alot, had alot of probs. esspesially me trusting him, but our realatiinship day to day was good, we loved eachother and had great times( we just probs spent 2 much time together from a young age) . when i decided to leave it wasnt a big " i hate you dont contact me!!!" type thing.. so i dont understand why i have been treated this way. if anyone can add some insight plz help... my brain just feels so mushy its hard to put all this stuff in words.
21YD Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 you better take him to court if he doesn't pay child support... as a father he better be there for his child otherwise he has no right to be in yours or ur child's life if he lacks effort. as for you.. im sorry to say you need to get over him hes not worth your time you have another life to take care of now and you need to be strong for your baby.
lostnscared Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 This is your third or fourth thread in the last three days about the same situation. I feel for you--I really do. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant, so I can sympathize with your situation and can't imagine what I would do if my bf decided to bail out on me and our family. But actions speak louder than words IMO. Always look at the "outcome" of a situation and that will tell you what that person believes and wants. In your ex bf's case, since he has been M.I.A for the last 4 weeks, is in another relationship, and ignores your sons existence, then it's pretty clear where his priorities lie. I'm sorry I just don't think he is interested in being with you, or in playing a role in his child's life right now. that's not to say that he won't come around, or change, but it does say that RIGHT now he is not interested in being a dad or a boyfriend(for that matter). The best thing you can do, is keep it together for yourself and your son, and try to make the best out of the situation. WE can't tell you WHY he has decided to bail out, or what's going in his mind. But judging by the outcome, you at least KNOW where his priorities are which IMO is more important than trying to analyze why he is being a deadbeat. Just assume he may not be in the child's life, and proceed from there. Get child support, make arrangements for help--for when the baby comes, and try to move on.
redtan Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Why did he leave? If you read the first post she in fact left him. So my question is...why does it bother you what he does with his life after you left him? You did this to yourself (for good reasons), but it's still the fact that you left him and he has moved on. Seems to me like you wanted to leave him but at the same time you DONT want him to move on and be happy with his life, you want him to be as miserable as you.
butterfingerz Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 If you read the first post she in fact left him. So my question is...why does it bother you what he does with his life after you left him? You did this to yourself (for good reasons), but it's still the fact that you left him and he has moved on. Seems to me like you wanted to leave him but at the same time you DONT want him to move on and be happy with his life, you want him to be as miserable as you. i didnt want to leave him.. it was him or my baby, ofcorse im going to pick my child. move on be with another female.. its not that.. its that he has forgoten about his own flesh n blood. oh and 2 think im miiserable.. how simple .. i feel betrayed, used and im pretty confused, but.. miserable .. definetly not.
HeartGoesOn Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I think this guy has shown you his true colors many times over. He's back and forth with this other girl, and according to your other threads, she too was pregnant by him. He was a freeloader that lived with you and your parents...does this sound like a man that is ready to be a father? I would raise this baby on my own, and take him to court for child support. Other than that, you'll end up raising two children, him and the baby.
zeppelinette Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I'm in a very similar situation.. was with my ex for 5 years, we have a 3 year old and a 1 year old together and I'm 6 months pregnant with our third child... he broke up with me a little over a month ago now and we have not spoken since I started acting irrationally and messaging the new girls he was talking to etc. he started seeing another girl about 2 weeks after we split. some people just can't be alone and need to distract themselves with a new relationship. but what hurts the most is that my ex, like yours, has not talked about the new baby or helped buy anything for her and has not even seen our other children or sent any money for them either. all we can do is be strong for our children, cause our exes obviously don't seem like they will be...
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