Not coping without my boyfriend. Feeling so depressed.

[georgie182]

I was with my boyfriend for 6 months. Doesn't seem like a long time but for at least 3 months we were staying together every single night and it's fair to say I was completely attached to be the point of obsession with him, and I still feel this way. But everything was perfect and he told me he was in love with me and he would never leave me. He was my first love and we planned so much together. I even (stupidly) mainly decided not to go to university just so that I could stay with him. Because he promised we could have it all, we were planning to move out together and have a place of our own rather than being between our parents' houses. Then 3 weeks ago we had a little argument about him texting an older woman and it was upsetting me, and he then told me he didn't feel the same about me anymore and suggested a break up. I convinced him to give me another week and in that week I did everything he wanted and gave him space and everything. Before the week was even up, he text me saying it was over. I've seen him a couple of times since then briefly, just giving stuff back to each other etc. But I'm just not coping. I haven't been to work in these 3 weeks because I'm too depressed and have been crying every day. As stupid as it may sound, I feel like life just isn't worth living without him. I've been feeling quite suicidal and just so awful.

 

My friends and my family are getting to the point now where they just can't take it anymore and don't understand why I'm still spending everyday crying in my bed. Everyone says to forget him and move on but I just can't. I have videos of him on my computer of us messing around together and laughing together, and so many lovely pictures of him. I love him so much, with every bone in my body. And he doesn't really seem to care about me anymore and has asked me to leave him alone but I'm not strong enough to let him go.

[DD123]

life isnt worth living without someone who can so easily live it without you? just think about that.

[fifregister]

Sweetie, from the sound of it you're just at the age of entering university, so 17 or 18? I know it doesn't feel like that right now, but you will have so many more relationships in your life time.

 

It's tough to see someone make such mountains of promises and turn around to say they don't feel the same way. But that's human nature. We all change our minds, grow together or apart. Most people cannot keep promises such as "I'll never leave you" and it's unrealistic of us to expect that out of anyone.

 

You need to learn to stand on your own two feet. This seems like your first true intense breakup where you love someone with every bone in your body. It hurts, but trust me you will live. If it seems like too much, please go see a therapist about this. Life and love are beautiful things. Don't let one person's departure destroy everything.

[georgie182]

Yeah I know but that's what hurts the most really

[georgie182]

And yeah I'm 18. Yeahh I've spoken to my doctor about it and I'm getting some counselling soon. It just didn't seem like there was anything going wrong, so I'm finding it so hard to deal with that he doesn't wanna know me anymore x

[No1]

Georgie... Question, why do you want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you? Cause you love him? I dont know what happened, but if your life revolved around him, then I would say he probably felt a little constrained, that you didnt give him enough space for him. He is young like you Im assuming and he is just not ready for what you want. Its all. You said it didnt seem like nothing was wrong, but he was hiding his feelings. He just told you things to keep you happy. He promised you whatever you wanted to keep you from getting hurt.

Truth is, you didnt do anything wrong. But he wasnt ready for you. You want a family a life with him and he doesnt. Reality is that you are young, you have so much living to do still. At 20, youll look back and think..wow what was I thinking at 18 and when you are 25, you are going to think back and say, what was I thinking at 20. And the cycle goes on. Youll grow a lot as time goes on.

Dont cry for him. And why do you ask? What is it about him that no other guy can give you? Truth is there are thousands of single guys who are more compatable with you. He was your first, youll always remember that, but it does not mean he is the best. There is a saying that if you get knocked down 2 times, you get back up 3. And you were knocked down we all get knocked down at one time or another, but we must get back up, dust ourselves off, pick up our hearts and move on. I can guarentee that the sun will rise and set without him in your life.

Put the videos away, delete them, dont peek at his facebook, dont text him, give him what he wanted. And get him off of the pedestal you built for him. You were happy before you met him and you can be happier again. youll be fine.

[dramallama]

I think this is a good lesson about trying to maintain the balance of furthering yourself and doing what is best for you and keeping your identity, and being a relationship with someone. You only knew him for 6 months and you changed your university for basically some guy?

 

It's ok to cry all the time, but it will do you no good to reminisce and look at videos and photos of him. Do yourself a favour and burn ALL the photos from your computer and facebook onto a CD/or move them to a USB drive and then delete them from your computer. Delete and block him from facebook if you haven't already. He isn't your boyfriend anymore and he's done you a favour if he can so easily leave you. Now is a good time to figure out what YOU want out of life, because your life probably revolved around him before so make sure to keep that in check in the future.

[21YD]

lifes too short to cry over someone who wont cry over you....

stay strong.

time heals evrything.

[hello678]

I agree about the fact that this will teach you never to give up your life for your partner. Keep your friends and keep your life goals, because they can be gone in an instant and it will most likely leave your head spinning.

 

Also I agree about removing every aspect of him from your life like Llama said above.

 

Heres something to think about, he was cheating on you yet you want him back. Its obvious texting other women is rarely (if ever) appropriate and the fact he reacted so badly and left you (likely for her) shows how low value he is.

 

Go to University asap and get on with your life, it sounds like his loss to be honest.