Idolizing your partner – is it healthy?

[Allyo]

To what extent is it normal to idolize your partner? I mean idolize in the sense that you are convinced that you are with a great person and that you believe that your partner has no or very few faults.

 

And to what extent would you hope to be idealized by your partner? In the sense that your partner would also think of you as perfect or near prefect…

 

I was having this discussion the other day with a friend, and I’m still not sure what I think. Truth be told, I would rather have my partner treat me very well and think of me as perfect (for him) and vice versa. However, my friend was saying that idolizing your partner isn’t always healthy and failure to accept their faults or mistakes might also lead to unhealthy expectations.

 

What do you guys think? Thanks for reading

[tresqua]

It's not healthy, it's unrealistic and it's the seed from which obsessions are born.

[hexaemeron]

I want to be seen for what and what I am, faults and all. I don't want to be put on a pedestal. Usually when this happens, people want to be idolized in return and if that doesn't happens, well, that's no longer a fun relationship.

[DoGGYtREAts]

Thats a trickey one- Really comes down to the dynamics between the two involved (and also being in denial about obvious faults is something different entirely). I'm guilty of Idolizing my fiance to some extent- In that i get swept away at times and see her as better then everyone else on earth (kinda akin to the way some people idolize thier favorite celebrities i guess?) But at the end of the day I know shes still human and prone to mistakes just like the rest of us

[ProtestTheHero]

Personally, I think it's unhealthy. We all have faults. Sometimes people don't see those faults in their partner in the beginning because they're too hyped about the relationship. A healthy perspective to have is to realize your SO isn't perfect but you accept their imperfections as a part of who they are. It's better than getting caught up in some idealized vision of who your SO is and then feeling disappointed when you go through a rough spot, thinking that they're showing you a different side to them when in reality they were always this way and maybe there wasn't an opportunity for you to see that.

 

I would not want to be idolized -- way too uncomfortable. I know I'm not "perfect" for anyone, so anyone that was operating under that impression would seem delusional/naive to me.

[rocio]

Unhealthy for your average person. Of course, I deserve to be idolized so in my case I wouldn't mind.

[hexaemeron]

Personally, I think it's unhealthy. We all have faults. Sometimes people don't see those faults in their partner in the beginning because they're too hyped about the relationship. A healthy perspective to have is to realize your SO isn't perfect but you accept their imperfections as a part of who they are. It's better than getting caught up in some idealized vision of who your SO is and then feeling disappointed when you go through a rough spot, thinking that they're showing you a different side to them when in reality they were always this way and maybe there wasn't an opportunity for you to see that.

 

I would not want to be idolized -- way too uncomfortable. I know I'm not "perfect" for anyone, so anyone that was operating under that impression would seem delusional/naive to me.

 

...I can still idolize your brain, right, PTH?

[Love1336]

Hmmm, my best friend totally idolizing her man to the point where it's unhealthy. She's with him nearly every single day. She will cancel plans with me or with anyone if he wants to hang out. everything she does is wrong while he does everything right. It's really sicken to be honest.

 

It's not okay to find your boyfriend or girlfriend near perfect because nobody in life is. The day that guy breaks her heart she will see what kind of fool she was.

[ProtestTheHero]

...I can still idolize your brain, right, PTH?

 

lol, I'm usually parroting you on here.

[DoGGYtREAts]

Hmmm, my best friend totally idolizing her man to the point where it's unhealthy. She's with him nearly every single day. She will cancel plans with me or with anyone if he wants to hang out. everything she does is wrong while he does everything right. It's really sicken to be honest.

 

It's not okay to find your boyfriend or girlfriend near perfect because nobody in life is. The day that guy breaks her heart she will see what kind of fool she was.

I think it really comes to The extent of the idolizing is what im trying to say. I dont think it's particularly unhealthy to be swept up by your SO from time to time for what ever reason... But when it defines the entire relationship or how you view the person over-all thats probly unhealthy for several reasons

[MyNinja]

I noticed that those who have a high failure rate for keeping and maintaining a relationship tend to put their spouse on a pedestal. It's kind of a suck-up type deal. The person doing the idolizing feels that if they treat their SO like a "God" so-to-speak that they will be loved and swooned over in return.

 

Yeah, not the case.

 

It's not healthy and it's very unrealistic. I admire those for their flaws because it means they are HUMAN.

 

until we meet again...

[JonasWaingaro]

It's always unhealthy to live at someones feet. It's a bad dynamic in a relationship. For the idolized it's impossible to live up to that standard all the time. When a crack appears things go south fast. After all idols cannot show weakness or flaws.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Wait a minute...if your partner is a narcissist, it could be a dysfunctional match made in heaven.