Is he a player??

[Happyhappyjoy]

Okay you probably saw my thread but now I need to know if this guy is truly a player. He says he misses me and calls me sweetie and says he wants me. I know he wants sex but I did have sex with him so maybe I kinda lead him on anyways...... My question is how do I know he is a player? Are there signs??? I am kinda dense when it comes to players moves I guess.

[ToF]

If he's calling you pet names and saying he "wants" you this early in the game, especially since you've already slept together, then he's probably just looking for more sex. I don't know if you'd consider that "player" behavior, but it doesn't sound like relationship material to me, based on this post and your last post. If you're just looking for sex, then he's your man. But if you're looking for anything more, I doubt you'll get it from him.

[JonasWaingaro]

Player? Who knows. An opportunist? Yes. You are an opportunity for no-strings attached sex. So he's certainly going to be game for that. Has he mentioned a real date? Or is it all 'wants you' and 'sweetie'?

[boonpop]

Unlike sports, relationships don't just come with people who are well equipped and ready to play the game. Now granted, we all play it in one way or another, but the point I'm making is that it's difficult to really define who or what a player is.

Everyone comes into a relationship with another person looking to get there desires met. Some want a long term deal, while others are just there for the ride. Communication is the only sure way to understand what type of journey your desired partner is willing to take, and if the outcome of that conversation doesn't match up with what your end goals are then move on. Simple as that.

You can't really say someone is a player or not because where you may think this guy just wants a cheep thrill the next woman who comes around may indeed be wearing his wedding band. That same man you saw as a player will be the next woman's knight in shining armor, or Vice Vera if your lucky.

Instead of feeling like you need to know the rules of the game, learn to communicate efficiently and state your desires or future expectations before finding yourself curling toes with someone you suspect isn't in it for the same purpose.

[tresqua]

One of the reasons women choose not to sleep with a guy for the first month or so is to avoid being used just for sex by a player.

 

You've already slept with him, long before you've got any sort of trust or commitment, so there's no way to know, and even if he is, the barn door is open and the cow is in the field.

[TakingtheBlame]

Why is it relevant to you whether or not he's a player? How would that change the way you approach this situation going forward? I'm honestly curious.

[MyNinja]

have you spoken to him recently? Is he still on a sex high wanting for a response from you? Whichever the case he's not really relationship material. obviously you both are on different wavelengths here and it's clear as day what he wants from you.

 

It's hard to tell if he's a "player" as many people take advantage of an opportunity that presents itself. i think you guys need to have a talk to see where this 'relationship" is going.

[HeartGoesOn]

It's very unfair to label him a "player" when you consented to having sex with him on the very first date. When you present him with an offer he can't refuse, as in "putting the cart before the horse," you're basically setting the tone from the very start.

 

This is taken from what you posted in your thread yesterday.

 

Great now he expects it all the time. He doesn't respect me I asked if he wanted to go to the movies and instead he said let's F all night.

[MyNinja]

Tell me this. How was his personality before you two slept together?? Was he being sexual with you from the start? How were you portraying yourself to him??

[Ms Darcy]

Tell me this. How was his personality before you two slept together?? Was he being sexual with you from the start? How were you portraying yourself to him??

 

How would she really know his personality before they slept together if she slept with him on the first date?

[tresqua]

Maybe he's posting on some other forum, asking other people if they think she is a player?

[Happyhappyjoy]

LOL please..... I talked to him today and again he said baby,baby I want to f your brains out. I said listen I think it's great you want me and all but first off I am not going to your plaything. I need to know right now are you going to just get what you want and leave?? He said baby,baby god no I like you and I know you like me I would never to do that to you.It is obvious he is using that line to gain his trust and he will bounce I just know it. Why?? I guess I could say the lights came on and I finally figured out who he was. I saw him prowling POF today so it's obvious he wants more than one plaything.

[aminaSa]

we all are players in one or another way

[ToF]

OP, I hope you deleted his number?

[guynextdoor]

Who played who at the end? Sounds like you caught on and dumped him.

[cleanheart]

i think sleeping with him first before considering the risks and what you wanted was the biggest mistake there...sorry but its true.i think you should take a break for a while,think over again what you really wanted out of it but also see how he will react..i think if a guy truly loves you he will atleast call you after sometime of silence if he doesnt that means that he was not that into you in the first place

[Happyhappyjoy]

Yes I know. I guess wasn't over my ex so I thought sex would make things better. I was totally stupid thinking that I know. The sucky part about this whole situation? I got a UTI.

[MyNinja]

UTI?

 

Oh wow, I'm very sorry. I hope you are going/gone to the doctor to get medication. (I believe it is ciprofloacxin). an untreated UTI can easily lead to a kidney infection. I'm sure you learned a lot from this experience.

[Happyhappyjoy]

Oh most definitely. I'm on a pill right now to treat it.