Is she no longer interested or am I too passive?

[sennheiser]

For the last few months I haven't kissed, snuggled, or done anything remotely romantic with my significant other. She says she doesn't feel like it and when I do hug her she kind of lowers her head like she does not want to be kissed. She said she's not a touchy feely person so she doesn't want to hold hands. But then she says I'm not aggressive enough. I'm stuck in a hard place as I always think girls say what they mean, but I don't know what that means. Should I be more aggressive in kissing and things or how do I show her that I can be more aggressive? I told her I don't want to cross any of her boundaries, but then she says don't worry I never have.

[hexaemeron]

She sounds completely bored, and wants to blame you for it. Would you describe yourself as a passive person in general?

[DylanNotorious]

No don't be aggressive with her, because she's making no sense at all.

 

Don't even touch her when she's talking this nonsense!

[arrakis77]

She said she's not a touchy feely person so she doesn't want to hold hands. But then she says I'm not aggressive enough. I'm stuck in a hard place as I always think girls say what they mean, but I don't know what that means. Should I be more aggressive in kissing and things or how do I show her that I can be more aggressive?

 

There's a difference between touchy-feely intimacy and just raw sexual intimacy. Touchy-feely has a large emotional component and it sounds like she's closed off to this aspect for some reason. I'll hypothesize that her statement about being more aggressive referred to raw initiation of sex but she's going to have to let you know if you do cross a boundary. Personally I can't have one without the other.

[sennheiser]

I think I'm more passive in general. I just really don't like to do things that would make others uncomfortable.

[ToF]

Has your behavior changed since the start of the relationship? Has hers?