Does it matter how NC got started?

[swann]

This is probably a dumb question but "does it matter how NC got started?" Reason I ask is I have read on here different ideas on about whether you told the ex you were going NC and why or just going NC without a word being said. She dumped me by the way. We just kinda feel into NC as I knew she was getting her social life back in full swing and I wouldn't be hearing from her anyway. Last phone conversation was OK but nothing about us and ended with a "love you, talk to you later" and that's been it for a month now. Outside of seeing her post on FB about what she's doing, no contact at all.

 

I was pretty much letting her make the contact the last month when we were still talking and she initiated the last phone call. She had already moved on and I was trying to and I knew I was going NC when she stopped calling. I also was pretty sure she was seeing her old boyfriend again too boot.

 

It doesn't matter now I don't guess but was just curious anyway. I am in NC for myself to get over her. I truly believe now that there is no way we will ever get back together. It wasn't a bad break-up by a "ugly" stand point, just her leaving and me trying to be cool with it. She lives 1,200 miles away now and just that is one of the reasons I know we will never get back together. I also know NC is my way of getting myself back and my self-respect. I wouldn't take a call from her (well I tell myself that to stay strong)

 

Maybe I'm just writing this out for myself more than anything but was still curious about NC and whether it makes any difference in how one came about going into NC?

 

Thanks!!

[Eocsor]

No, it doesn't really matter. the goal is always the same, to help yourself heal after the breakup.

[jumper11]

It doesn't really matter, however for some including myself at the time, it helped to put out an NC message like unless we work out dont contact etc., so you aren't left wondering do they think I'm ignoring, disappeared, and start worrying.

 

This way you know, that THEY know, why you're doing this. Depends on the person. I had to do it that way, but I over analyze so to each their own.

[swann]

And after a month it's too late to do a NC message anyway, it would be pointless. If she was curious she could always reach out and ask why but like I said, I'm pretty sure she doesn't care and hasn't really thought anything of it as she is already occupied with her social life. She is also good at "compartmentalize" things she can't control or worry about better than anyone I know. That's part of her narcissistic character she has.

 

Crazy how you can "think" your so close to someone and then "poof" they can just cut you out of their life without another thought about you. Mean girl