Could 19 and 35 meet?

[klemdal]

I decided to go back to college to study a new field. I've thought of the women as off limits since I am 35. Some of the girls have gotten crushes on me which was flattering but I never thought more of it.

 

I met a girl I thought was about 25. We started flirting and hit it off. She gave me her number, etc. I thought she seemed young to me but it could possibly work, although I've never dated someone much younger before. Well anyways she ended up being 19 and so I've avoided seeing her now that classes are out because of the age issue. I would probably get a negative reaction from people I know. I also wonder what her family would think. I know maturity differences will probably show up, but everything seemed fine when I would talk with her. I want to let it go, but at the same time I want to call her and see her.

 

What do you think, could it work?

[guynextdoor]

Besides maturity what about common interests?

[Eocsor]

Anything is possible, but the odds are stacked against you. It's not just the age difference it's the stages of life you two are at. May December romances are a crap shoot at the best of times, but thats a huge life experience gap you are talking about.

[DylanNotorious]

If you like her and she likes you - then why not?

 

I say go for it. If you have a connection to someone age shouldn't matter.

[Sparkly Eyes]

19 is way too young for you, too little life experience. You could date her, but don't expect a lot coming out of it.Unless she is extremely mature, It will most probably be only the matter of time until she realizes she wants to experience more guys or until her drama wears you out.

[shuttlefish]

Go for it, don't expect it to last but hey, enjoy your life. At the very least you will have a cool experience and your friends will envy you. Guard your heart though, odds are, this ain't lasting forever. I suspect HER age will irritate you long before your age irritates HER.

 

I've been there (No I don't want to go to the Rhianna concert with you, she is annoying, how about Michael Buble?...no?)

[george237]

I would hit it and quit it with a bunch of them. A lot of chicks dig older guys, take advantage of it.

[Hnybun]

That depends, are you looking for a relationship or sex?

[SongCoyote]

If the minds meet well, there is psychological as well as physical chemistry, and you enjoy each other's company, there's no need to construct a wall labeled "Age Difference!". As she's of legal age, what others think is their own affair. If you think there's a real possibility of a relationship, by all means date her. Just remember the campsite rule, keep communication open, and remember that there will be differences in perspective and approach. As much as you can, use these as chances to learn about each other rather than seeing them as gaps.

 

Good luck, and may you both find exactly what you need

 

Light and laughter,

SongCoyote (married to my sweetie who is almost 14 years older for 16 years!)

[Sarah Jane]

age shouldnt matter whether your 20 and 45 or whatever as long as you love or like eachother ..

[chatelaine]

If she lied about her age, definitely not. If she didn't, give it a shot. Age is just a number and older men are much more appealing to mature young women than drunk, sex oriented, immature college boys.

[trolleycar]

Hi klemdal

From what I have read from your post you are wondering about the age gap.

Well I am 70YO and I am going with a girl of 35YO .The age gap was a problem

for me and not her from the start of our relationship. Well after the first month

age was not an item in the relationship. This was just her and I Me date of birth

says I am seventy but I never felt my age and since our relationship I am more like a High School kid all over again.

When the heart gets involved age is not even a starter. I find that if a day goes by and we do not talk I feel so down.

And I am at the point of being willing to put my life on the line for her and her Daughter.

The way I see it give it a try and you may find the this young woman is the one the god put on earth for you.

My girl friend keeps asking me how come i am so much nicer then guys her age.

And my Answer is age I have had more time to do stupid things and now I can stay away from doing them again.

She thinks god put us together I don't know about that but I will take all the help I can get

[little_buttercup]

It might work, it might not. It would depend on how well you two get along, as friends as well as on a romantic level. Common interests and goals help, too. My parents have an 11-year age gap and they've been happily married for almost 36 years now. So a relationship can work if you both are willing to work at it.

[ferna3069]

give it a try there is nothing to lose. the only thing im thinking of is what if you want to get married later on and she says something like i still have my whole life ahead of me

[Doublewide]

I've done this and I really liked the girl. Unfortunately at that age she will want to go do other things. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[hrtlsngl7]

Your 35 and young'uns are still digging you? Hookup w/ her. She will eventually loose interest anyway after the fun has went away.

[Jacob216]

I teach folks in that age group and from time to time crushes certainly do show up. But my experience in dating someone younger (not THAT young, but within 4 years) is that it becomes very difficult to not come accross sounding like a parent when you are concerned about them. There is actually a pretty strong urge to try to help them do a lot of things they should do on their own and that becomes a problem for both parties.

 

Something else I have observed. Young women in that age group are looking to test boundaries and expand their horizons and experiences. Fantasizing (sexual) and romanticizing (future household) about men in that age range is not uncommon, but once she explores that process sometimes the brief experience is all she will want. It's sortof like the exuberance a child shows towards a toy while it is sitting in the package on the shelf. They want it and want it because it is new and interesting and they have seen the commercials and they imagine all of the fun things that could be done with it.

 

But then two weeks later you are stepping on it in the morning on your way to the coffee machine because it hasn't been put away.

 

I would be cautiously optimistic about being a toy for a younger person. Perhaps they'll find a deeper interest but, well, even if you are their favorite toy - it is hard to grow beyond that. The adolescent phase extends even longer if a person that young doesn't have to face up to the responsibilities of being out on their own, making their own money and paying their own bills. And a personal sense of entitlement is a very tough dragon to slay - at any age.

[MD Geist]

For a serious relationship no. Sooner or later things will change.

[YtheSADface]

If you are both ok with it then the age shouldn't really matter.

I've been dating a man 24 years older than me for 3 years now. When we first met, he was a train wreck. An alcoholic, chain smoker, promiscuous, with the occassional drug use. Since then, he has quit drinking and doing drugs completely and has cut down significantly on the smoking. We started off as really good friends (coworkers) and it's turned into something far more complex and wonderful than we ever imagined. Of course, every once in a while I'll have a slip of maturity (blonde moments as we call them), but he just shrugs them off. As it turns out most of the time it feels like I am the older one. I pay the bills, own the house, have the working vehicles, make sure he goes to work and that his child support (which hadn't been paid in years) is up-to-date, etc... At first my family was not ok with it by any means. Now, they are finally excepting it and have actually come to like him. His family loves me to death. We are talking about marriage now but I want to make sure that all of our (meaning his) finances are in order. I told him by the time we catch up and he has a good credit score it'll be about 7 years. So we'll take it day by day.

If it works for you, do it! Best of luck!