Will technology be the downfall of monogamous relationships??

[Chicklet]

What I mean is this......With all of the technology we have today, webcam girls (not interactive), porn sites in general, in invention of even more life like sex dolls, virtual sex in games and on other sites, RPG/MMO's....etc. Do you think that these "tools" give us the chance to cheat without really cheating?? I mean, after all, they aren't REAL people. (Well, I suppose the RPG's with MMO's are, but you know what I mean. lol)

 

I don't know, I'm inclined to believe that technology is increasingly ripping a hole in relationships where infidelity was never a problem before, but are sometimes threatened because of these technologies. The person using the "technologies" feels that it's not cheating because, after all, its not real.....but for me, it isn't so cut and dry.

 

Any thoughts?

[BellaDonna]

With all of the technology we have today, webcam girls (not interactive), porn sites in general, in invention of even more life like sex dolls, virtual sex in games and on other sites, RPG/MMO's....etc. Do you think that these "tools" give us the chance to cheat without really cheating?? I mean, after all, they aren't REAL people. (Well, I suppose the RPG's with MMO's are, but you know what I mean. lol)

 

I think these technologies aid people in escaping into fantasy worlds more easily. Those worlds can be addictive and de-sensitizing and cause people to put less of an emphasis on real, human relationships. When real interatctions with real people become less of a priority, the relationship is doomed.

 

In my opinion, excessive use of those technologies is a form of further subconscious isolation for people who are otherwise unhappy.

[siktomystomach]

I firmly believe technology is ripping apart relationships...Skype, Facebook, "LIVE" webcams, and some other forms of technology in my opinion are just as bad as being with the real person. I've always that that if you can mentally cheat on someone, you would more than likely be willing to physically cheat. If youre using skype and going on webcam with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship i feel you are totally cheating. Im very loyal....so when im in a relationship, i very rarely return inbox messages on facebook or whatever. I will not go on skype at all. and yes, i do watch porn here and there but not of live webcam origins...i believe the interaction is bad.....sometimes i look back and wish much of this technology had even come around.....what do you think?

[happyfrank]

I think some technology is saving marriages. If husband is away on business trip. Women can just use vabrator to get her needs fulfilled.

[Samedy]

I was kinda hoping technology would help me find a monogamous relationship. Alas no replies..

[JonasWaingaro]

I dunno. I don't know if it's the chicken and egg argument or not, ie. does technology cause straying or does it enable an already unhappy person to stray. Certainly makes cheating a lot easier.

[heatspreader]

If technology is making it easier to cheat and people are taking the opportunity to do it, I think they would take the chance no matter what it was that made it easier. Maybe technology exposes the truth about what some people really are like.

[ProtestTheHero]

I don't think you can blame anything other than the person. If it only takes an internet connection to ruin a relationship, it wasn't going to last anyways.

 

The one thing I do think is happening is that there's less incentive for people to enter into relationships now. The milk is free and the strings are gone.

[tresqua]

Technology has brought millions together via online dating sites and other social networking sites.

 

If someone's inclined to cheat, they'll find a way.

[Melting]

I was with an ex for 6yrs, during that time 5 of those years he spent with his best friend..... the computer.

 

The only interaction I had with him, was when we fought about this addiction of his.

 

Needless to say, he ended up having an affair and I left him.

[tresqua]

I was with an ex for 6yrs, during that time 5 of those years he spent with his best friend..... the computer...Needless to say, he ended up having an affair and I left him.

 

You stayed with him even though he had little to nothing to do with you because the computer was the center of his world, and you'd still be with him if he hadn't cheated on you?

 

What made it worth staying so long?

[sidehop]

I don't think it is honestly; it's like trying to blame one source of distraction for infidelity. Sure, technology is a wonderful thing but there are many interests and other variables that can cause a person to become unfaithful. But like many have said it's how people see and use it to their advantage in a good way without crossing any boundaries.

[Chicklet]

I firmly believe technology is ripping apart relationships...Skype, Facebook, "LIVE" webcams, and some other forms of technology in my opinion are just as bad as being with the real person. I've always that that if you can mentally cheat on someone, you would more than likely be willing to physically cheat. If youre using skype and going on webcam with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship i feel you are totally cheating. Im very loyal....so when im in a relationship, i very rarely return inbox messages on facebook or whatever. I will not go on skype at all. and yes, i do watch porn here and there but not of live webcam origins...i believe the interaction is bad.....sometimes i look back and wish much of this technology had even come around.....what do you think?

 

Well, I agree with you on everything here. I don't think a little porn is bad, at all. As long as it's in moderation. However, I am not completely against social networking sites, Facebook being the only one that I use. As for skype. I've only heard of it, and nothing good is ever in those conversations. lol. But while I agree with you, I GUESS what I'm REALLY thinking about is the future and the possibility of a total breakdown of human connection via virtual sex and the crazy, real sex dolls that are being sold. There are some that reach in the thousands that are so real that some people have relationships only with them. I watched it on Real Sex on HBO and it was disturbing as hell.

 

As for the live webcam stuff, social networking, skype...all of the interactive things out there....while they have been trouble to many people, at least there are real people involved. lol

[Chicklet]

I think some technology is saving marriages. If husband is away on business trip. Women can just use vabrator to get her needs fulfilled.

 

Vibrators don't bother me. They've been around since there was electric. lol Probably even before. It's the act of sex with an object that is built with both present and future technology. The technology today can do many things that the vibrators of old cannot do.....which can and probably will, cause a great disconnect of human sexual contact in the future. May be good on population control but not too good where marriages and relationships are concerned. lol

[Chicklet]

I don't think you can blame anything other than the person. If it only takes an internet connection to ruin a relationship, it wasn't going to last anyways.

 

The one thing I do think is happening is that there's less incentive for people to enter into relationships now. The milk is free and the strings are gone.

 

So if you had the chance, in the future, to have virtual sex with someone like...oh, I don't know, Angelina Jolie or Katie Hudson or WHOEVER....and it felt awesome and real, but you had your woman, who may have bad days due to job, kids, LIFE. Or she doesn't always have the time to fix herself up or just had a baby and couldn't have sex for 3 months, or WHATEVER the reason! You mean to tell me that you wouldn't hook yourself up to that computer and go at it? It provides people the unimaginable. The unobtainable. The biggest fantasies ever imagined..... and could be very detrimental to the break down of many otherwise, good relationships.

 

Just you wait. People will be bangin' whomever they please in the virtual world within 20 years. lol

[90_hour_sleep]

it's all about ease of access. if you have to work for something...you're damn well gonna make sure it's worth your effort. if you can be completely anonymous...and basically slip in under the radar...OF COURSE IT'S MORE LIKELY THAT YOU'LL DO IT!

 

morally...most of us are pretty much the same. the only thing that's glaringly different between two people is circumstance. and until you've walked a day in another person's shoes...i'm sorry, but you have absolutely NO IDEA how you'd respond to a given situation. this whole self-righteous holier than thou business is a giant human farce. you think you're better than me because you can abstain? fantastic. walk a day in my shoes...and then we'll talk. we'll really talk. and you know what...that will be the most real, human interaction you've ever had. because it will be a conversation between equals. actual equals. not theoretical equals.

 

you think you're better than me because you make the right choices? i'd say you have a long way to go. what are you so afraid of that makes you attack other human beings? these are people...and if you could -- even for one moment! -- look past your own bag of garbage...you might realize that i'm just like you. the guy who made those bad choices...he's just like you are.

 

personally...i think it's insane. go ahead. attack. judge. it's a reflection of YOU...not me.

 

i think there's something to be said for what you're proposing, chicklet. we're fast becoming a species in desperate need of alomst constant validation. am i good enough? will she like me? will i make it? will someone love me? it's constant. and with that mentality...this desperation...all things become possible. it's survival at it's finest. because validation at it's core feels like a basic human need. it's what defines a sense of meaning for us in life. it gives us a sense of worth. and anyone who feels to be immune to this has yet to take steps in this world we all share. if you haven't known this feeling...you're a separate entity. and it's you who has yet to find a place.

 

spare us the self-righteous rhetoric. you're not fooling anyone.

 

cheers

[Chicklet]

Strange thing. Right after I started this thread, I made another post directly under the first one, asking people to also think about what the future might be like with technology. More REAL experiences. Escapes from reality...etc. For some reason, it didn't post??? lol. So yeah, I'm talking todays technology and the future of technology. Not real interactive sites with other people, but virtual world relationships and what they will probably evolve in to within the next 20 years.

[Capricorn3]

I think these technologies aid people in escaping into fantasy worlds more easily. Those worlds can be addictive and de-sensitizing and cause people to put less of an emphasis on real, human relationships. When real interatctions with real people become less of a priority, the relationship is doomed.

 

In my opinion, excessive use of those technologies is a form of further subconscious isolation for people who are otherwise unhappy.

I agree with this post. It seems more and more that people no longer know how to interact with real life people anymore (just read all the threads here on ENA). No-one knows how to socialise anymore (with real people). People have no idea anymore how to actually sit down and have proper conversations - these days it's all about sending a thousand texts to each other, instead of actually TALKING.

 

So yes, I would agree that technology can certainly be the downfall of relationships.

[Chicklet]

WOW. I wasn't judging you or anyone else. Sorry that you took it that way. I was merely asking for people's opinions. What's good for one person, isn't necessarily good for the next, ya know?? And for your information, I don't have "a bag of garbage". This thread only came to mind after watching the HBO special. Thanks for your comment, but wow!!

[21YD]

i feel that techonolgly will definetly put a dent in relationships...social networking websites & technology have handicapped us and we rely too much on them and have forgotten how to communitcate thats why people are having so many problems...

i duno personal opinon..

[Chicklet]

I agree with this post. It seems more and more that people no longer know how to interact with real life people anymore (just read all the threads here on ENA). No-one knows how to socialise anymore (with real people). People have no idea anymore how to actually sit down and have proper conversations - these days it's all about sending a thousand texts to each other, instead of actually TALKING.

 

So yes, I would agree that technology can certainly be the downfall of relationships.

 

I agree with you and the text that you quoted as well.

[90_hour_sleep]

WOW. I wasn't judging you or anyone else. Sorry that you took it that way. I was merely asking for people's opinions. What's good for one person, isn't necessarily good for the next, ya know?? And for your information, I don't have "a bag of garbage". This thread only came to mind after watching the HBO special. Thanks for your comment, but wow!!

 

no...nothing personal, chicklet. i didn't read into that from your original thought. just so tired of people claiming that they'd never do this or that...because it's wrong. like...somehow they're better because they're not subject to these lapses in judgement. just kind of irks me. not a reflection of your post at all. tend to agree with what you've said in actuality. just got caught up in my own moment there. sorry!!

 

sorry to RANT in your thread. i'll keep my nose out of it.

[Chicklet]

Your nose is always welcome!! No worries, muh dear! And believe me, I'm all about the sex toys...and I like a little porn from time to time again myself. I'm not a prude. It's just that when I see what technology has brought us in the last 20 years, it amazes me. And then to think of what it's like in the next 20 years, really is mind-blowing. I just think it's essential for us to have more interaction with eachother, especially as we go on, into the future. Would I "do" Johnny Depp in a virtual room?? HAHA! Hell, who knows? Maybe!! I just hope that I don't fall in love with him.

[Chicklet]

Why did you go back here and totally add an entire section and remove others??? That's not fair!! LOL. * * * ? At first here, I thought, ah well, he see's my point and just wanted to add it to his original post, but then you had to go and be all rude at the end. AGAIN. LOL. You know, I quoted you in a few comments down, and it contains your original words. BAD FORM, 90_hour_sleep. I think it's past your bedtime.

[90_hour_sleep]

i tend to believe that whatever happens in this world is exactly what needs to happen. it's not fate -- as i see it -- but there is a bit of a connection. all things are interconnected...and to change one thing is to change everything else right along with it. one can't throw away this or that because it doesn't fit into one's narrow perspective of the way things are. that's not how it works. perhaps there's a shift occurring in the way we perceive relationships as human beings. perhaps (a big perhaps) we're moving beyond this insecure notion of a 'life partner'...of one person who will be with us forever. perhaps we no longer see that in a negaitve light? i mean really...if we'd all been brought up in a world where no relationship lasted more than 5 years...there'd be nothing to talk about here. we wouldn't worry about a partner who wanted to pursue other avenues. it would be a non-issue. but as humans...we've created this construct of ideals. and a certain set of those ideals pertains to this idea of perpetual monogamy. if it weren't such an ingrained pattern of belief in our interactions with others...there would be no problem. but we've accepted it through years of indoctrination...incapable of seeing things in any other light because we fear questioning that which we've always known to be true.

 

what if this technological era is the natural progression of humanity? are we to expect that things should continue to function as they have...just because that's the way it's always been? that's naive to say the least. how can one condemn a form of interaction based solely on the grounds that it doesn't conform to the way past generations have done things? i suppose it's only natural...considering our neurotic fears of change...our absolute aversion to the ephemeral, fleeting nature of existence. when something comes along that challenges our perception...we lash out...and call it vulgar. so what if people are texting. so what if people aren't having the same kinds of interactions as their predecessors. the nature of life is change. physical beings come into existence...they age and evolve...and then they're turned over to provide life to a new generation of beings. nothing...NOTHING...remains the same. and for one who doesn't understand the nature of that change...i suppose it can feel threatening and wrong. but what could be wrong about a cycle that has been in perpetual motion for eons?

 

let people be. let them interact how they will. leave your judgement at the door...and embrace the world for it's wealth of potential.

 

blah...blah...blah.

 

i see nothing wrong with technology. the issue is...and always will be...a steadfast resistance to the natural flow of life. those who stand in opposition to the flow will always live in an ocean of suffering.

 

really...there's no doubt that the nature of relationships is changing. but WHY does that need to be considered a bad thing? one could argue that the current state of human relationship is less than desirable. so what's the harm in mixing it up a bit? why continue down the same path of dysfunction? why continue to run around in the same circles...chasing the same tired old ideals that have been a great contributor to human suffering? what do we stand to lose by changing the game? i'm curious about that. really curious.