AlxEss Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 If any of you have read my previous threads you know that I was very much in love with the girl who left me and still am. After months of hell, I finally found out that she have moved on physically a few weeks ago and have tried not to look back. I know the healing is just beginning now and that it'll be easier in time with NC and the like. Regardless, I put everything she gave me in the attic, deleted everything on my computer that she sent me but as I was going through an old thumb drive I found some special pictures she sent me when we were getting along well. Now, I thought I had deleted them all and finding them was not so much upsetting as it was surprising. I've since put this thumb drive somewhere where it is not easily accessible but am wondering if I should make that final purge of these gifts, which always meant more than just pure sexuality when she sent them to me. When I look at them (haven't in months) I can see how much she loved and trusted me...but at the same time, looking at them makes me miss how unique and attractive she was, how great her body was, all that superficial stuff. I'm not sure what to do. I think I'll regret it later if I delete these final deep mementos of her but don't want another to find them if and when I enter another serious relationship. Advice? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 My vote would be to delete them. There's really no point in hanging on to them. Even though a lot of people find pics like these to be conquest trophies of sorts and representations of power that was once had over a partner, if the relationship is over holding on to them will only prevent healing. As you mentioned these could also be damaging if you enter a future relationship. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I know how you feel, as it happens I just deleted some special photos of my ex....its a tough one, but if you feel at this moment there will be regret then dont delete them, as you will regret it....put the thumb drive in a box, archive it into the attic and forget about it. One day, you will be fully healed, and you can go get it, delete the images and use the drive for something better.....however......if you really wanna feel libererated from the x....and accept you are over....then hit that delete button now.... me....well like i said i just deleted some important pics....no going back now. jonesy Link to comment
AlxEss Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 I want to delete them. But if I delete them, I might as well burn all the love notes she wrote me, all the pictures of us on vacation, the drawing she did of us of one of our first kisses, all the stuff that is in the attic already. The pictures are so much more than sexual. It's a big part of it but like I said, they represented how in love and trusting she was of me. I think I will just put it in the attic for now, and hope I forget about it or that the drive becomes obsolete in time. Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Put the thumb drive up in your attic with the rest of the stuff! Just make sure they are off your computer... Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I've kept all mine. Admittedly, they keep sending me more, and I'm not complaining. Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I got rid of everything....all it made me feel is I lived a lie...especially how it all ended. I threw out all letters, cards, notes, everything....I donated all clothing gifts, and threw out all trinkets, bracelets.... Deleted all pictures, emails, I gave my mom my big screen and sold my xbox. there is no proof she ever exsisted... I have no regrets...i never will.... All i have now is the lesson and the memory...I want nothing more. Link to comment
jonesyjakk Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I got rid of all unimportant pics and have kept the important ones for my kid to see when hes older, when we split I told my ex to keep everything, all i took from our home was my clothes, my playstation (haha) and my car....she kept everything...even all our 8 n half years worth of photos.....i still have many photos on a drive that is in a safe place for my son to look at when hes older. I have lots of letters I wrote to her, one I found in a drawer when I was clearing up my stuff that she had written and decided not to give me, i have the letters i gave to her to that i saved from the bin when emptying out my things from the house...i have a diary of the first 40 or so days.....all that stuff is put in my diary and my diary is locked away in a drawer not to be opened until my kid asks about me and his mum. I even found two pairs of my ex's underwear in my clothes.....hell i put them in my drawer for a few weeks until it just felt weird having them and then i binned them too. there is no problem in archiving that stuff, whats important is that you dont look at them every day, do it from time to time, when you feel reflective....in my mums there is a pic of me and my ex on her graduation day....i asked my mum to take it down...she said no...because she talks to my son about me and my ex when its just the 2 of them....oh well its her house i guess.... so whats important here.....the imaterial photos that symbolise something that no longer exists, or you being healed which no longer exists......one of those 2 things will one day exist.....how long depends on you...archive the photos if youre not ready to get rid of em, try and forget they are even there, if you cant.....delete....then its taken out of your control.... your moving on...is whats important..and how you deal with it...not the photos, not what they symbolise.....good luck jonesy Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Early on I could not delete any photos, so put them on a storage HD and never looked back. Never looked at them again. So if you can't delete them yet, store them - but you'll probably be better off just deleting them now. Avoid embarrassment or hassle in the future. Link to comment
misssmithviii Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I threw everything away that reminded me of my exes because it hindered my healing process - anything that was of value as a gift, my dad kept where ever. Here's a little story: I was playing on my bf's PS3 one day and started looking through the pictures of him, his car, his friends, trips his friends took. It was all cool and interesting and right there. It was fine until I stumbled accross a full-screen size picture of his ex gf's butt, then her sleeping in his bed, then her posing for him... yeah I put the controller down and turned the TV off. I wasn't so much angry as confused why in the heck he'd keep these pictures?! When I mentioned it to him he was surprised and said he had thought he deleted everything from him exes once they became exes - but he never thought to check his PS3. So yeah, it was unnerving... and really messed up my self-confidence given she had a wonderful body and I have stretch marks from having a kid >. ANYWAY - Bottom line, delete them. Link to comment
DennisK Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I think that if you can't bring yourself to delete them, then simply don't! Just go with your own suggestion and archive them away. If you want to delete them later, then go ahead. I've never permanently deleted any of the pictures of my ex's as they remind me of the good times we had. If I had deleted them, I know I'd only regret it later on. To me, the good memories should be treasured and its nice to look back on things fondly when you've moved on and healed. I would probably feel differently if they'd cheated on me, or treated me badly but I've never had that in any of my relationships. If a future partner finds old momentoes such as pictures and has a problem with them, then thats their issue with their own insecurities and not yours. Your previous relationships define and shape you as a person you are and your current partner should be willing to accept that and realise that they will always be a part of you. I don't think you should feel the need to delete all pictures and momentoes just to avoid hurting the feelings of a potential future partner. Seems a bit silly to me. Link to comment
misssmithviii Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Pictures of past loved ones is quite different from naked pictures of them. Whether it's meant or not, it's sexual. I found pictures of my bf's ex in a folder on his laptop. It was of a birthday party - did I get mad? Nope. He deleted them anyways because he felt it was inappropriate to keep them around now, and didn't care. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Naked pictures I would delete. If you store them and forget about them someone could easily come accross it and post those pics online. Hate to be the Debbie downer but it has happened. None sexual pics I would store and then delete whenever you feel you can - sexual ones, delete for your peace of mind and her's. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 No ... dude ... you always hang on to naked pics of the ex-girlfriend. One day you'll thank me. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 No ... dude ... you always hang on to naked pics of the ex-girlfriend. One day you'll thank me. hahaha lmao! I have stored tons of naked picks of my ex away on a thumb drive. I don't look at them but I am sure not going to get rid of them. Link to comment
misssmithviii Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I guess I'm confused or missing the point... why keep the photos? Especially if you're not going to look at them? Oh wait I think someone already answered that >. Link to comment
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