IrishGrl Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Its been two months since my boyfriend of almost 3 years and I broke up. Contacted him alot since the breakup that was a big mistake I couldnt stick to NC. I just really wanted it to work and cant let go of all our plans. He says he doesnt want to get back together. Im having trouble accepting it still and keep wishing I could go back and change things, even though I know its pointless. I think I have really pushed him away and his feelings for me are gone. I was hoping we could be together again someday after we both had some time to ourselves. He broke up with me because I was stressing him out too much. He said maybe we'd be together one day if things change but now he says he doubts it. I wish I hadnt reacted the way I had to the breakup, calling him and crying has only caused him more stress. Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 HUGS! I know its a difficult time but its never too late to start NC and move on. He isn't coming back - at least not now and perhaps not ever. You need to find a way to cope with that as hard as it is. The first step in moving on and getting some time on your own is to accept his decision. Relationships only truly work when both parties actively want to be a part of it. He needs to be able to see what life is without you. I guarantee you he isn't going to forget you and there will be moments he really misses you once given the chance too... it doesn't mean he is going to come back into this relationship but you have to see he is hurting too. This board is a great place for support! Rather than reaching out to your ex... come here and post all those emotions you are going through... it really does get better with time... I promise you that too! Link to comment
hello678 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Im sure you know this, but you need to start and stick with No Contact. Maybe in a years time you two could be re-united, but trust me, contacting him will make things far worse. Link to comment
IrishGrl Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Thanks, I will stick to the no contact. I know I have to stop thinking this way that we will get back its just hard. Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 If you can make it through the first few days of NC, it will start to get easier. The loss will still hurt for awhile, but the urge to contact will lessen and you will become a little stronger each time you resist the urge to contact. Finally, if it works the way it did for me, you will not want the ex to contact you, and actually get upset for a short while if and when they do. Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I'm right there with you Irish....I messed up to much and he wants nothing more to do with me...even changed his cell number so I have no way to ever contact if I even wanted to....and believe me I fight the urge to everyday....I want him back so much....but I know I have to finally accept that it is really over this time and he will never be a part of my life again..... Sorry if I wasn't any help to you, but you are not alone in what you are going through... Hugs Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Don't beat yourself up. Nothing you can do now and to be honest, I'm sure even if you reacted differently following the break up you'd still be in the same boat. Just work on healing yourself and being ok without him!! I know it sucks but you have to accept it... Link to comment
Formula Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Your far from alone. I havnt had any direct contact with my ex in 2 months and thats how long we have been broke up. Im finding it so hard but she is with someone else so my urge to contact her lessens every day. Im slowly accepting that we are well and truly over. You will get through this though and you have to keep telling yourself that. Link to comment
IrishGrl Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Thanks, I wish I found these forums earlier. I had been looking at all this "how to get your ex back stuff" (maybe that works for some people-I obviously couldn't stick to it anyway) with no one to talk to, because I moved here to be with him and don't really know anyone here in this city. I hope I heal soon! - I think I'm slowly starting to. Link to comment
Bungle UK Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Im finding it so hard but she is with someone else... This helps a hell of alot. Not only does it show there true colours but also confirms they can truly not love or care for you. I split up with my ex, half way through Jan, had a lengthy conversation with her on the 9th Feb about how she cares for me and can't get over me, then, bam! Find out 13th Feb, she had gone away for a Valentines wkend with a new lad. Yeah... As much as I cried for about 24 hours, its was kind of a blessing in disguise. Much easier then to crack on with my life. And I have, and It does get easier, because even though she tried to crush me, she didn't and I'm feeling on top of the world. My best mate said to me... It gets easier when you allow it to. Only then do you move on, its hard, but accept its over and live life!! Link to comment
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