Ex g/f. (mother of my child) Need advice...

[animositi]

Here's the Story, Me and ex been broke up for about 6 months, but about 2 months ago i found out she was pregnant and it could possible be mine. She already had the baby, and it looks like me and all. I still want a DNA test to be done for that extra proof... i ain't saying its not mine or anything. But if he is my kid, i want to try and work things out with her for the child's sake. If it don't work out I'd want to be able to say we tried to work things out at least. But she is living with her boyfriend she has now, He is like 7 years older than she is and he has 3 kids already with someone. She seems to not talk to me much, she always talks to my mom about our child and i get all the info from my mom.

 

I want to talk to her but I'm still nervous about being a father right now and i can't seem to get any words out in person. How should i approach her about this? What should i say?

 

I still have feelings for her and all. I never really showed it when we was together, i never said anything like "I love you" cause i was afraid to say it lol. We only Dated for 2 months, but was hanging out 2 months b4 that and i felt like it was to soon to be saying that.

 

So any advice on how to tell her how i feel would be great... Should i wait till after the DNA test comes back? Or should i just not say anything at all?

 

Whatever happens I will be there for my child...

[Fadedlife]

Have you tried speaking to her about the child and its possible origins?

 

You dont seem to have mentioned that any where.

 

If you are able to just speak to her briefly about the child just confirm or deny if he is 100% your child or not.

Explain that if she has any doubts the maybe you could get a test to confirm if you are the father.

If she confirms that you are the dad and you are just worried and nothing more than go with that for now.

if she cheated on you then only can decide what you really want to do with the information she tells you.

 

In terms of your feelings it may be best to hold them back as she is in a relationship as you state, be respectful that she is seeing someone else, even if it hurts you a little inside, deal with that as best you can but always show respect, an angry person is an ugly person.

If you really have to break your silence on your feelings it maybe best you get very lightly with your words, maybe express that you respect that she is in a relationship but if that changes you would be willing to talk to her about you and your family (assuming child is yours) trying to possibly reunite and resolve your past.

 

As for being a father being nervous at 1st is very very normal and you will question if you are doing the correct things in the correct way, thats all normal. parenting will come from instinct within you if you have the ability to be a good parent.

 

1st and formost if you taking the stance that the child is yours then start to connect with him, find that bond. your child should be your priority right now but dont forget yourself as you need to be well to be a good person and/or parent.

 

With the ex i would be respectful, polite and let her have the space she desires, she then may see you in a different light. having a partner with 3 kids (not said the ages of them??) and that person having to deal with the birth of a child of someone else. Also your ex has given birth to another persons child and she has 3 other kids that are not her and a partner that isn the father of her child. Dont get your hopes up but it doesnt look good for them, thats not to say it wont work out for them as it may well do. but also as it may not look good for them in the way you describe it, that doesnt that it looks good for you 2 either.

 

Just keep an open mind and rebuild yourself and start to embrace the bonding and growth of your child if that be the case.