Feeling of not belonging

[bluevacuum]

i don't belong or fit in.

 

i've been seeking professional help through an MFT then a psychologist and nothing is helping.

 

i've admitted to my doctor that i do have rampant suicidal thoughts and his recommendation is to read a damn book about negative neurosis.

 

each time i do drugs, i feel worse than i started. i feel like i want to die because it'd bring that relief that i'm looking for.

 

i don't even know what i'm living for or if i'll really ever find what i need.

 

there's that saying, the universe gives you what you need, not what you want. kind of * * * * ed up that all i get is misery or more imaginary satisfaction from death.

 

i'm just tired of living. i look at the joy other people experience and it doesn't seem i'm capable of experiencing happiness.

[chitown9]

"each time i do drugs, i feel worse than before."

 

 

 

 

When you made this statement were you referring to street drugs or prescribed medication?

[Clint Cora]

You haven't found your passions yet. You ought to research what they are and then actively get involved in them. Only then will you feel like you belong somewhere.

[halved]

okay, you say you don't feel like you fit in or belong. why do you think that is? is it shyness? are you afraid of people? do you have social anxiety? do you live in your head more than the outside world? If you can pinpoint what the issue is we can start somewhere. You need to be more specific. In my case i did not fit in because i'm shy and totally introverted. I OVERTHINK so many things and it makes me awkward.

 

Just know this, anything "bad" you may perceive about yourself can actually become a positive thing. Take me for instance, because i live in my head so much i always have weird observations and thoughts that a lot of people just don't have. When i voice them they can be funny and amusing, and sometimes even illuminating and helpful. Because i think about my own emotions so much it makes me that much more empathetic towards others. This built in trait that can be destructive at times can also be very positive.

 

My "flaws" makes me different, and if you can appreciate your uniqueness and find confidence in that you'll start fitting in with people. And if some people think you're just too weird for them, screw em, they're not worth your time...there are BILLIONS of people out there!

[sjjohnson89]

You haven't found your passions yet. You ought to research what they are and then actively get involved in them. Only then will you feel like you belong somewhere.

 

Oh, how i wish it was that easy. Ive got passions, things im very interested in, it doesn't help me at all in regards to having a place where i belong.Thing is, they don't help me to 'fit'. You being a Karate World Champion, does that make you 'fit'? Ive found that i need a lot more than a common interest to fit or belong. I have issues, some very deep issues. My issues have hurt me, made me suffer in life. Whats worse is that ive hurt the few people who've got close to me with my issues. The OP is clearly dealing with very deep issues, sadly, professional help is the way forward. I know this because i know this is what i need.

[sjjohnson89]

You are totally right. But, there is a difference between being our individual uniqueness and unhealthy issues. Ive battled around this all my life, believing it was just me, i was just too different. Its tuned out to not be the case at all. My issues run through me so deep that in a way they've come to define me, its almost as if ive never developed my core, who i am. I don't know who i am. Its become lost in all this mess. Im an INFP personality type so that in itself makes me not usual. But, what truly makes me feel alien is my issues. The biggest reason why im truly lost, have no belonging is because of my issues.

 

I say this in regard to the OP. If you feel this detached, if you feel that life is too much, if you have suicidal thoughts you must continue to seek professional help. But you have to be open to be helped. They can prescribe things to you, but, the healing process starts with you helping yourself. I know thats hard. I know believe me. I still haven't seeked out professional help myself.

[RadicalDreamer]

Keep doing professional help. If you're therapist can't do better than to just ask you to read a book, seek another therapist. Don't misunderstand me- it's good for them to recommend such things, but they must realize that you need help in your sessions, and that's what you're paying good money for. They can tell you all they want that only you can help yourself, but it's their job to give you meaningful ways to get there.

 

I know how it feels to feel unable to fit in. For me, I look at this world, where everyone claims they want honesty, but they all tell these little lies, they get upset when you do tell the truth. People say they want kindness, and then walk all over you and tell you it's your own fault because you're too nice. And the annoying thing is that it feels like everyone else just intuitively gets it. Everyone seems to know the rules and how to be happy, like a secret that you're just not privy to.

 

Finding your passion can help, but it's not the end-solution. It gives you something to take your focus away on everyone else, and to learn about yourself, but you'll still want to belong. It's easier to do so when you're comfortable in your own skin.

[chitown9]

I asked you a question and you have not answered it. I am asking the question because my answer would be based on your answer.