rkw Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I went on the computer and my dad was still logged in on Facebook. Since he only accepts friend requests from family and friends, and his family don't post too much, all the status updates were from my ex. It's been over 2 months and the palpitations and panic are still just as fresh as the day my ex came with my things and dropped them off at my place. Uggggghhhhhhh...how I wish he would just disappear and I can forget he ever existed. Sorry, I just really had to vent to people who understand. I'm so shaken up by such a small thing that I think everyone in my real life would think I'm slightly unhinged if I were to tell them. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 hope you didnt read them. I know just what youre feeling. Its horrible. Log out. Dont look. Link to comment
ladyninja30 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 delete your ex and anyone associated Link to comment
Danny77 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 delete your ex and anyone associated Amen really. Get your pa to delete her. Link to comment
ILostHim Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I made that mistake yesterday as well (we're not friends and I have him blocked). But my friend was logged in my computer and I went through his FB when she went to the restroom. I know, extremely stupid of me. And it just seems like he's having a great time with all of his status-es being so happy and now all these girls are contacting him because I guess they all know he's single. It was like Day 1 all over again. I really wish I hadn't and I don't plan to do so again ever. The itch to see it is gone because all it will do is hurt. Link to comment
lukeb Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 So it wasn't stupid facebook but stupid you for going through someone else's facebook. It irks me when someone says yes it was stupid yes it was wrong but I did it anyways. Your actions suggest you don't think it is wrong to go through someone else's private things. Saying something is wrong but doing it anyways only makes it worse in my book. I am sorry to hear about your break-up though. Link to comment
ILostHim Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 So it wasn't stupid facebook but stupid you for going through someone else's facebook. It irks me when someone says yes it was stupid yes it was wrong but I did it anyways. Your actions suggest you don't think it is wrong to go through someone else's private things. Saying something is wrong but doing it anyways only makes it worse in my book. I am sorry to hear about your break-up though. Oh, it was wrong, so very wrong. We're only human after all and whether or not it felt wrong, sometimes we do things out of curiosity and that's what makes it a mistake. And we learn from our mistakes, at least I do. Remember that there are certain rules, in life and in everything else, but as a human being, sometimes we get the urge to break those rules no matter how wrong it may seem and its our emotions that make us act out and do stupid things. If I was able to control my emotions, I'm sure everything would be much easier. And I'm sorry for my break-up too, it's the main reason why I'm even here. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 So it wasn't stupid facebook but stupid you for going through someone else's facebook. It irks me when someone says yes it was stupid yes it was wrong but I did it anyways. Your actions suggest you don't think it is wrong to go through someone else's private things. Saying something is wrong but doing it anyways only makes it worse in my book. I am sorry to hear about your break-up though. harsh......... Link to comment
Tanzi Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Can I ask why you dad has your ex on his Facebook? Surely for your sake it would have been best for him to delete your ex. If you have your dad as your friend on FB then there is a chance you could read a comment or response your ex may have made regarding a comment, picture or status your dad may have put on FB or visa versa. Link to comment
rkw Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 So it wasn't stupid facebook but stupid you for going through someone else's facebook. It irks me when someone says yes it was stupid yes it was wrong but I did it anyways. Your actions suggest you don't think it is wrong to go through someone else's private things. Saying something is wrong but doing it anyways only makes it worse in my book. I am sorry to hear about your break-up though. Ha no I didn't go read it on purpose, although maybe my wording makes it sound like that. My dad does morning shifts, so the computer was on already when I got up. I typed in facebook's address and because my dad had logged himself in this morning (probably to catch overseas relatives) it went to his wall or whatever it's called. Since my dad mainly has older people that don't post much, my ex's status updates were one after the other. I didn't stalk, I logged straight out but it was his photos that had me shaken. I only read one status that was fairly mundane, there were others I could have read but was too upset to. Obviously I wouldn't have been whinging on here if I had planned it. That would be dumb. I have had my ex off my friend's list, untagged all of our photos together and had his number deleted since quite early on. I'm doing everything right, so seeing anything related to him was totally unexpected and is probably why I was so upset. My dad and brother are both still friends with him on Facebook. I think telling them they can't be his virtual friend anymore is a bit ridiculous, I understand they consider him family since we were together for a number of years...but still. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 My dad and brother are both still friends with him on Facebook. I think telling them they can't be his virtual friend anymore is a bit ridiculous, I understand they consider him family since we were together for a number of years...but still. I don't think it is an odd request if they care about you and they know you need to heal. It is only FB after all. Still, if he isn't commenting on your brother's or your dad's wall etc (or visa versa) then I guess its not really affecting you. Link to comment
lukeb Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 harsh......... Maybe harsh but it is no different than going into someone's bedroom and rifling through their stuff and then not liking what you find. Link to comment
rkw Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Maybe harsh but it is no different than going into someone's bedroom and rifling through their stuff and then not liking what you find. Lukeb! I didn't rifle! I typed in the facebook address and my dad was still logged in from that morning, as I know he ticks the "keep me logged in" option to make it easier for himself! And doI need to repeat again that it was the display photo and name of my ex that upset me, and I was too shocked to read the statuses? It was an accident and totally unexpected, which is why I was so shook up by it. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Maybe harsh but it is no different than going into someone's bedroom and rifling through their stuff and then not liking what you find. Harsh dude... You didn't have to say he was stupid for doing what he did hey. It was an honest mistake and people in pain make alot of them after breakups. They are also the first person to know what they did was wrong too. Just didn't think telling someone they were stupid for doing something really helps. I know you agree so lets just leave it at that. Link to comment
rkw Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Harsh dude... You didn't have to say he was stupid for doing what he did hey. It was an honest mistake and people in pain make alot of them after breakups. They are also the first person to know what they did was wrong too. Just didn't think telling someone they were stupid for doing something really helps. I know you agree so lets just leave it at that. Ha thanks for the defence Danny, just two corrections though, I'm a girl and it was a complete and honest mistake that my dad was logged in on facebook when I went to go onto my account. It was seeing his name and picture pop up that upset me. I know it doesn't seem like much, but even seeing the same model car as he drives is enough to cause palpitations for me right now. And for the people who have found themselves rifling, it doesn't mean that they're stupid. Breaking up with someone can make sane, sensible people totally psychotic, I know I felt like maniac for the first few weeks. I know if this situation had occurred a few weeks before, I probably would have snooped a bit. It's only through the strength I've gained on here that I restrained myself and logged my dad out. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Maybe harsh but it is no different than going into someone's bedroom and rifling through their stuff and then not liking what you find. In these circumstances it was TOTALLY different. She never said she went searching for the information, it was just unfortunately made available to her. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I deactivated my facebook account today. It feels great! It really is not that important to me and the negatives far outweigh the positives until I am healed. My real friends know how to reach me if they want to talk to me. Link to comment
rkw Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 That's awesome, Live-n-Learn. I also considered deactivating my account if I found it was still too much, but until the other day I had been fine just having him off my friend's list. But I know a lot of people find peace and a sense of freedom once they deactivate entirely. Hope your healing is speedy Link to comment
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