Have you ever mistaken 'falling out of love' with something else?

[curious987]

In your opinion, do you think it's possible for people to confuse 'falling out of love', with simply being frustrated or annoyed with the other person?

 

Do people ever leave a relationship because they claim to have "fallen out of love" with them, for whatever reason, and then realise later on that they did infact still love that person, but they just needed to deal with some issues?

 

And...can a person in a relationhip begin to think they have "fallen in love" with someone else, and leave their current partner, (possible case of G.I.G.S), only to realise later on that they were in love with their ex?

 

I think people can get really mixed up in their own feelings.

 

I've often heard to couples who broke up due to one of them claiming to have "fallen out of love", but then once they see this person/spend time with them later on down the track, they realise they do infact love them.

 

 

Thoughts and opinions?

[Seraphim]

I think that is completely possible. At some point it gets too frustrating to carry on. They may love the person but it is overshadowed by too much frustration and anger and negative feelings so they leave, and then they realize there is love still there but it is not worth fighting for. So maybe it is "mistakenly " thinking there is no love, but it might be more asking if the love is worth the negativity.

[curious987]

Yeah. I think you're spot on. Pretty sure thats what my ex went through

[penelope13]

Absolutely possible. In any direction.

 

Emotions are not linear, i.e. it's not that a person can only feel a single emotion at any given time. To the contrary: we are constantly experiencing many, many different emotions; most of which unrelated and often contradictory and mainly subconsciously. The problems arise with deciphering those interacting/fighting emotions: which one is the 'true'/the underlying, the core emotion versus the emotions that are only part of various coping mechanisms.

 

that is one of the reasons why people can seemingly change emotions overnight by 180: it always depends which emotions is the dominating one on the conscious level since that will mainly dictate the actions. The emotions are not changing, it's just a different is surfacing stronger.

 

this is another reason why in difficult situations, breakups, fights etc it is best to give each other truly time and space to work through the jungle of emotions to figure out the important one. By staying in contact, being constantly on top of each other one is only adding to the pile of emotions and not giving opportunity to dig through what is important and what not.

 

Someone who doesn't give him/herself the opportunity to figure out what their most important feelings are, is risking to demonstrate a behavior that seems all over the place, without rhyme or sense; going back and forth; loving you one second, then rejecting you the next. This kind of person literally lives through one emotion after the other in order to figure out what is more important to them. Unfortunately in the process a lot of people can get hurt if they take these people at face value.

[gingerlemon]

I've seen stories along these lines in relation to depression, and to affairs. So, yes - agree that it's possible.

[redswim30]

Well, call me corny, but I do believe there's a difference between loving someone and being "in love" with someone. I think in a case you mention where a person leaves and then "realizes they did love their partner" - I think it's more of realizing the love they did have, not necessarily that they are truly "in love" with their ex partner. And I do believe you can still have warm and loving feelings for someone while not being " in love with them". I do believe you can fall out of love with someone, but even if you do that doesn't necessarily mean you've lost all semblance of loving feelings for them. Unfortunately, I believe that a relationship can only work when you are truly "In love". Sure, someone could say it was really "Just issues" they had to work out, but I think falling out of love is valid.