hes just forgoten all about his son.. dont know what 2 do

[butterfingerz]

k..so im going to start by sayin, please ask ANY questions that my be able to help you understand the situation.

i was with my partner for a total of 5 yrs( age 16 til now basically)

we have broken up over those years maybe four times each time for no more than 2 months. every time we would brake

up he would run bak to this one girl ( ill call her "the other one")... but he would always come bak to me in no more than 2 months or a month.

over the years we lived together at my parents house.. n heres whats happened now. last year october/ november

he stated that he was sorry for everything he had done over the years to hurt me.. he answered any questions i had about

things he had done in the past truthfuly and so did i.after us talkin and workin things out for a few hours

he told me he wanted to have a baby with me. i believed him.. and we decided id stop taking the pill. no more than a month later

i was becoming very depressed due 2 the fact that he had started speakin to the other one again.

i did not kno i was pregnant at this stage. we broke up not long after.. and once again i was forgoten about

he ended up movin to sale with the otha one and stayin with friends up there.

we had not spoken since brakin up, n then he had contacted me about 6 - 8 weeks after. i ended up telling him that i was pregnant

and that im keepin my baby and doing it with or with out him. he wanted to be back in my life agian and apparently he wanted to be a dad and

will pull his crap together. he had no where to live down here so he wanted me to look for shared accomaodation and hed move back from sale to be with me.

the arangement was this basically..

id find and pay for accomodaiton for us until he had a job or got on centerlink (2 months deadline).

i rented a place at $160 pw twin share n he came back and moved in. we were happy to be together and to be startin a family (im 3 months preggez at this stage)

but it ended up turning really bad, he hadnt goten of his bum for a job, hadnt gottn centerlink and was startin to speak to the

other one again. i was gettin really depressed and stressed beacuse i couldnt afford to buy anything to prepare for

my baby being born because i was payin for everything for him. 3 weeks ago i left the place i got for us.. and went back to my parents.

im now due for my baby boy in four weeks!!!! and im very excited! but i also cant help but be depressed, and hears why.

its not really about me any more its about my son. i have not heard from him since the day i left 3 weeks ago. he is back in a realitionship

with the otha one. he has not contacted me about his son, to see if i need help with anything to buy ( when he has a job and centerlink since i left!!)

he hasnt contacted to say do you want me to come to any appointments with you. he just has forgoten all about him at this point

that kills me that he has done this to my child. i dont care bout me... but there is a baby involved, his baby.. that he has just forgotn

i dont understand and i dont know what to do. honestly.. i dont want him to have and rights to my bubs, why should he be able to

do this n just come and go as he pleases. i tried to get him to understand before i leftt that we need to work this out

for our child. that we need to be one good terms. hes gone the complete opposite direction. im really hurt.. and honestly im * * * * scared

and i want him to pay for what his done. please feel free to ask me anything. i dont want to put his name down on the birth certificate, if i do he has all

rights to my bubz. why should he be able to do this.. how could neone just turn their back on there own flesh and blood. thats why i

say.. its not even about me any more.. forget me, wipe all memorys of me, but ur child.. your meant to do anything to protect them

not turn ur back on them. im realli sorry if this was all very confusing.. theres just so much to it its hard to write and make any sense of

.

[abitbroken]

It sounds like this has been an up and down relationship from the start if you have broken up so many times. I would not depend on him. I would not pay his way. Get a place for yourself that is big enough just for yourself and the baby. Don't pay for anything extra. YOU control whether you allow him to come and go as he pleases and you should no longer allow that. Don't let him live with you AT ALL. He made his choice. He will pretend to come back to take advantage of you paying rent, etc. I don't know what the laws are about the birth certificate. I would assume that he would have some rights there - if it is his child and its not the case where you are not sure I don't know if you are obligated to put him on the birth certificate or what, but he may still have some rights to see the child even if you are on the outs with him. Visitation of a child does not depend on whether the parents are together or not. I would really consult an attorney.

 

I wish you the best - congratulations on the baby.

[butterfingerz]

thankyou!! it has been an up and down relationship, and yes i definetly felt i was being used. i will be speaking to an attorney because im not going to have him ruin another life by runnin in and out. thankyou for your advice

[whysoalone]

Ah, A Queenslander! GO the maroons! Haha.. It's such a hard situation when a child is involved. The fact he wanted to put you through that and then buggered off is quite pathetic really. Definitely better off speaking to an Attorney about it, because that's not on. Force the * * * * * to shape up, he needs someone to teach him a lesson..

[butterfingerz]

i have not spoken to an attorney yet. i know he doesnt care about his son. im worried because he hasnt been " beating me up" and because hes not into " hard drugs" that they will give him his parental rights..

[butterfingerz]

i want him to pay for what his done... but how. i hate him for what what his done.. i love my bub n always will and i dont regret him, i just feel sooo betrayed after 5 years.. i also feel like he is embarasin my child, almost sayin to ppl that his own son isnt worth * * * * .

[whysoalone]

Then make sure he goes for everything, drag him into the pit that is child support. He has nothing, when they see he has nothing he'll lose his parental rights. If he can't support the child even though he wanted to bring one in the world, it'll be frowned upon by any judge. I wish you the best of luck though, and definitely consult the attorney. And if the maroons don't win game 3, I will cry! (Not stating you're a League fan!)

[abitbroken]

i want him to pay for what his done... but how. i hate him for what what his done.. i love my bub n always will and i dont regret him, i just feel sooo betrayed after 5 years.. i also feel like he is embarasin my child, almost sayin to ppl that his own son isnt worth * * * * .

 

You have to get past wanting revenge and to do what is best for the child and you. He is not embarrassing your child - your child has the right, once he is older, to decide if he is embarrassed or not at his father. Don't decide and groom your child to feel embarrassment. Let your child decide. Also, what do you want the attorney to do? My suggestion was to find out what your rights are - and what the father's rights are. Does he have a natural right to see the child that you can't take away? Do you have the right to not put his name on the birth certificate? Remember though - if you want nothing to do with the father and want no name on the birth certificate, you can't really expect child support. I don't think many attorneys would make a man support a child a woman won't acknowledge as even his.