7 months and wedding bells

[AKFIRE25]

Hey all! just found out my ex of 3 years is getting married. She started dating her new man 5 days after we broke up. I hope that in 7 months you know someone well enough to get married. That is a huge step in someones life. I'm actually ok with her getting married. I will always love her and I guess by showing her that love I have to be happy for her. I hope like crazy things work out for the best. 22 is still a really young age but I think she has a good head on her shoulders. Does anyone else have any similer storys?

[90_hour_sleep]

yep...something like that. and you know something...it did work out. i don't think i fully accepted that feeling of ''i wish you well'' until after it happened though...as much as i'd have liked to have been able to say it with utmost sincerity at the time. on rare occasions i tend to agree with the sentiment of ''fake it 'til you make it''. sometimes it's just appropriate.

 

if you're feeling good about it...great! if you're not feeling good about it...well...that's okay too. there are some things you just can't turn off.

 

but those are ''ifs''.

[hello678]

Mate don't force yourself to feel ok about it unless you are. Good for them I guess.

 

Just smile and wave approvingly if you must. If its any consolation at that age after that time i would see it as extremely unlikely it being long term.

[AKFIRE25]

No I am happy about it. It lets me move on more freely. She is a good girl and deserves someone just as good. I'm glad she found a guy to make her happy!

[dumpee]

My ex of ten years married the guy she left me for 5 months after we broke up. I guess she's obviously very happy but her parents aren't!

 

Personally, I found it a little disrespectful of her to get married so quickly after us being together for so long. Also think it's disrespectful to her parents especially since she didn't tell them until after she got married. I could understand if they had got engaged but why the rush to actually get married??

 

Also, got to wonder about her husband, what is his emotional state? He's been married before and has 2 kids living in another country.

 

Marry in haste repent at leisure but it's her life I guess. I've got mine to be getting on with.

[triangles]

Hey all! just found out my ex of 3 years is getting married. She started dating her new man 5 days after we broke up. I hope that in 7 months you know someone well enough to get married. That is a huge step in someones life. I'm actually ok with her getting married. I will always love her and I guess by showing her that love I have to be happy for her. I hope like crazy things work out for the best. 22 is still a really young age but I think she has a good head on her shoulders. Does anyone else have any similer storys?

 

I have heard stories like this a lot in my life (I'm 39), and they all turn out exactly the same. Right now your ex is completely caught up in the thrill of a new person and the excitement of a wedding. She is probably thinking and wondering ALOT right now about what you'll think or how you'll react when you hear "the news". She will put out feelers to mutual friends/acquaintances to see if they know anything about your reaction, etc. She'll marry this guy, and after a certain amount of time (this varies for each person), after the excitement has worn off, when there's no more "drama", when she's no longer the center of the universe (i.e. the bride), she'll start thinking. She will be forced to think and deal with things she should be working through NOW (like dealing with feelings she has left over from her 3 year relationship, the wisdom - or lack thereof - of marrying so quickly, etc). When this eventually happens, she will be bothered by those thoughts, but it will be way too late because now she's stuck in a marriage that probably bores her. Since marriage is (supposed to be) hard work, there won't be as much fun and excitement in her life like there is/was before she got married. She'll start to resent that. She'll start to get restless. This will have a very negative effect on her marriage. She will look for opportunities to create more drama and fun and excitement in her life, which probably will include other people (probably men) besides her husband. She will start to idealize the relationship she had with you. She will feel nostalgic and feel like she still has unfinished business (feelings) from that relationship. She may try to contact you. If you do cross paths with her again, she will feel a powerful attraction to you. She will see in you everything that's lacking in her husband. She will compare your relationship to her marriage, and find her marriage sorely lacking in comparison (whether that's real or imagined). She will probably confess lingering feelings for you. She will tell you all the things you were dying to hear from her when the relationship ended. She will apologize. She will tell you how fondly she thinks of your 3 year relationship and how she wonders "What if?". She will probably be entertaining thoughts of divorce by this time. She might try to test the waters with you, if you're available. By the time she's in her late 20s, she will eventually come to the "realization" that she married too young, that she and her husband just aren't right for each other, and end the marriage.

 

But right now it's all a blur and she's too busy and distracted to actually think about what she's doing.

 

Believe me - I've seen this scenario played out several times, especially when the person involved is young, and especially when the person marries someone else fairly soon after leaving a long term relationship. It's almost textbook.

 

Just stay tuned and you will eventually hear from her again (in a couple of years)!

[imwithyou]

My ex married about a year ago but we broke up 5 years ago after a 2 year relationship and stopped talking in 2009. i still have strong feelings for him since we shared so much history so when i found out he got married it was an upsetting time, especially when i found out he had a baby on the way so i'm assuming he knocked his gf up because he told me when we were together he would support me if it was to happen so i'm putting 2 and 2 together (mind i could be wrong but then he never seemed the marrying type for early 20's nor to want a kid when still studying). Im in a relationship for the last 3 years now and as much as i love him theres still those feelings you wish would just go away of your 1st bf (or gf - so i think). sometimes life just kicks you where it hurts.

[dumpee]

Believe me - I've seen this scenario played out several times, especially when the person involved is young, and especially when the person marries someone else fairly soon after leaving a long term relationship. It's almost textbook.

 

Hi Triangles, further to my previous post, my ex is 42 so would you say what you've posted would apply to her? Like her husband, she has been married before (going through a divorce when I met her), so both of them have experienced marriage........and divorce!

 

As 'luck' would have it, I actually saw my ex today arm in arm with her husband. First time I've seen her in about 6 weeks. I didn't feel so bad as I did the last time I saw her so hopefully that means I'm progressing and moving on!

[triangles]

Hi Triangles, further to my previous post, my ex is 42 so would you say what you've posted would apply to her? Like her husband, she has been married before (going through a divorce when I met her), so both of them have experienced marriage........and divorce!

 

As 'luck' would have it, I actually saw my ex today arm in arm with her husband. First time I've seen her in about 6 weeks. I didn't feel so bad as I did the last time I saw her so hopefully that means I'm progressing and moving on!

 

I would say this type of behavior is possible with anyone who starts a new relationship before the old relationship is completely finished. Some people are uncomfortable being alone and feel they *need* to be in a relationship. Planning a wedding (and beginning to date someone new) are very distracting; you don't think too much about what happened before that. But it all catches up with them eventually. You can't run forever.

[AKFIRE25]

Just bumping this. less then a month and the will be wed.

[JB007]

I remember when my ex of 6 years told me she was getting married only after we have broken up for 6 months. My exact words to her were......"I hope your marriage CRASH AND BURNS TO THE GROUND!!!" Then I hanged up the phone.

 

8 months later, their marriage Ended.

[triangles]

I remember when my ex of 6 years told me she was getting married only after we have broken up for 6 months. My exact words to her were......"I hope your marriage CRASH AND BURNS TO THE GROUND!!!" Then I hanged up the phone.

 

8 months later, their marriage Ended.

 

Like I said earlier, situations like this never, NEVER work out! Usually sooner, rather than later. The person in the midst of leaving one and going to another is just burying their head in the sand. And they deserve what they get.

[ut804]

I remember when my ex of 6 years told me she was getting married only after we have broken up for 6 months. My exact words to her were......"I hope your marriage CRASH AND BURNS TO THE GROUND!!!" Then I hanged up the phone.

 

8 months later, their marriage Ended.

 

LMAO.

 

I don't get people who get engaged/married after only dating for less than a year! I mean isn't that still the honey moon phase? Anything less than a year is when you are still trying to learn about the person. Why such a rush? You don't know someone in 6 months or so.

[Destiny2112]

Like I said earlier, situations like this never, NEVER work out! Usually sooner, rather than later. The person in the midst of leaving one and going to another is just burying their head in the sand. And they deserve what they get.

 

I don't understand wither, how people can get married that fast... especially after coming out of a LTR!

 

It happened to me, too... my LDR ex of 3,5 years left me last summer for someone else, got engaged with her within 3-4 months and is now married (I don't know for how long, I assume they got married within less than 1 year)... Actually I know, that they "had" to get married to be able to legally live together and to avoid another LDR, since he moved to Dubai due to his job and there it's forbidden for unmarried couples to live together... anyways, it still makes me wonder, if a) he considers her that perfect and thinks he loves her that much, to take a huge step like marrying her that quickly, b) he was over and done with me and the relationship for a looong time already while still being in a relationship with me, so he was completely over me when he moved on to her.

 

I don't know... But I have heard from a couple of people that it isn't that unusual after all... people coming out of LTR and getting married pretty quickly... why do you think is that?

Some people here on ENA say, this may still be a rebound, but I'm not so sure, to be honest... maybe it's true, and they were completely over us already when they broke up with us to be with the other person, so they actually don't feel they are rushing things? I don't know...

 

Why do you think, situations like this mostly don't work out? Because our ex's haven't dealt properly with their past relationship and now carry all that baggage into their marriage? ...I can't help it, but when I think of my ex and his wife (which I try to avoid as hard as I could), in my weak moments, I assume, they must be perfectly happy with each other and their life together must be just great... although I know that's stupid and not true, no relationship is just perfect all the time...