Have I gone mad?

[Danny299]

Hi, I have never told anyone this before always ketp it to myself. I have thoguht about using sites like this for awhile but now its time.

 

First the issue, I think I am loco I think I've gone mad, in some sense. I talk to myself all the time when no one else is there, like somone is there ALL THE TIME, Just start chating away in conversation most of the time. Another one is I still day dream, did you ever play as a child like pretending you was somthing your not? in a war or a hero with friends? Well I did a lot when I was young at my first school with a great mate called Dean but I moved away and lost all my friends, I spent a lot of time alone pretty much all my time. With music or games trying to escape the real world. I hated school I went to a school I did not belong. I assume that added to wanted to be alone.

 

Well I am 20 now, I have been going through life like it will always be the same me my two brother my mom and my dad and our amazing dog, but we lost my Dog then year after my first grandad died, first time me and my brothers had known somone who had died. Then I turned 20 he died about 3 days before my birthday so it but a bumber on it all haha. Then I relalised I was not going to be young forever Things change people die. I must keep moving. I found all my old mates on Facebook lernt about what they have been doing and stuff, then I questioned what I am. Talking to myself, Day dreaming like I was a child, I don't jump around on the chairs or anything like that I walk and listen to music it all happens in my strange head. I've always wanted to escape the real world thats how I did it, no I can't stop I don't feel normal I cant tell anyone they would think I was mad and what would they think of me??? but I got to move on I feel like I am a child still in my head. I hate it, its like a drug I have to do it I have to go listen to music and walk and walk and walk in the streets and any hour I feel I have too 1:00pm or 3:00am I could get mugged or anything I can't hear anything behind me.

 

It would not matter so much but I don't feel normal I feel like an outsider all the time, Just feel so alone just me and my head my own thoughts.

 

Thers so much more details to add to this but I don't want to put off any help cuz of the amount of writing haha. I just dunno where else to go.

 

SHould I see somone? if I do its has to be without my family knowing or my friends but maybe they need to know? How would i tell them??

 

Its not juts the day dreaming that is the main problem but talking to myself like that, somtimes i come back and I am think who am I talking too????? I like snap in and out of the real world. BUt I need to stay in the real world! Just not sure how.

 

I am 20 now, I am getting older and older each day not a teenager anymore and that alone is scary. Where did it all go?

 

SO anyway sorry started to go onto somthing eles then haha, What should I do? I do hope you read this all. I need help, I would not come here if I did not think I need to get away from it.

 

Thank you, and I am very sorry for spelling or any grammer or what ever haha I am dyslexic, that in its self could have somthing to do with it haha

[Ariel85]

Yes, I think you should seek the services of a professional. Is this an option for you?

[DoGGYtREAts]

There is Dr. patient privacy laws so you dont have to worry about your family knowing unless you allow it. I would encourage you to speek with a Therapist. I also was a clingy loner in my childhood and altho i didnt relive it in my head, I did try to "escape the world" in other ways. Sitting down with someone objective in confidence and getting it all out helped alot.

[Danny299]

How would I go about getting help I would not know where to start?? ask my GP? I have no idea.

 

I don't spend all my time alone now, I am with mates going to clubs, sports, climbing, or just going out for a drink. But its just always there. Don't feel normal. I guess beinging alone can do a lot to a person shows that we are not ment to be alone.

 

Thanks for the replys guys!

[chitown9]

How do you spend your days Danny? Do you go to work or school?

[Loriana]

Hi Danny,

 

I talk to myself too when I'm alone in the house I think I'm going a bit nuts aswell haha, I'll sit down and talk to myself for like 20 minutes to half an hour sometimes. I doubt we've gone insane though it's not like we're hearing voices and seeing things that aren't there. I think it's just a sign of loneliness and wanting the company of someone who understands you.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Danny,

Wondering if part of the issue might be that you need more face to face contact with people and close friendships.