I used to be so strong...

[lovesforlife]

...I know what I am supposed to do...I am a smart, pretty, woman with so much going for me. I have a beautiful child and great job. I have so much in my life that many would be envious of. I have been hurt before - hurt to the point of wanting and trying to commit suicide. I got over that pain. I know time heals. And yet, I still can't make myself well. How worthless and meaningless I must be, what a horrible person I must be if I am not deserving of even a hello, a how are you after caring for him for years. I know better. Why can't I just make myself well?

[SapphireNoir10]

People always tell me this. Don't define your self worth by how someone else treats you.

 

Look at all the great things about you, your a good person. Sometimes people just dont treat us like we deserve to be treated.

 

Stay strong, he just obviously wasnt the one for you. Dont let a man/woman/person define you.

[Jetta]

I understand what you're saying and where you are coming from. My brother still asks me where my fight is, ever since my 2nd divorce and losing custody I've become a weaker individual. Finishing my degree helped regain some strength but there's still healing that needs to occur for me. And perhaps you are in need of external help in healing from your pain and heartache. Not all healing can come from within.

[sadchick83]

Just understand this pain is temporary....How temporary? Well that depends on you. You know someone should have warned us as children, when we entered into adult romantic relationships things are not fair, we will be treated horribly by some people, and there is not much we can do.

 

I would have appreciated a warning!

 

Also, just because you are successful doesn't mean you will not suffer sever disappointment in your romantic relationships.

 

Take baby steps on the road to your recovery. You will get there eventually.

[lovesforlife]

I am at the lowest stage...numbing what I can. One of the greatest things about us as humans is our heart and potential for profound love. It is also the thing that makes us most vulnerable to tremendous unimaginable pain beyond what any stick or stone could ever cause.

[Eocsor]

I'm an attractive, successfull, kind man. A good father and I'm loyal and caring. Yet here I am at 50, starting over again. And you know what? It's going to be OK for me. I'm almost a year and a half removed from the breakup and life is good. I still have my setbacks but life has meaning again. And you know what? This will happen for you too. Sometimes we meet people who aren't right for us. But that doesn't define who we are. Who cares what someone who left us thinks of us. They've given up the right to have anything to do with our lives. You'll get there, that I can promise. And you'll be the stronger for it. Never forget who you are and how worthwhile your life is. Never let someone else take that away from you.

[lovesforlife]

Thanks Eocsor. It's hard for me to keep perspective. So many people, my whole life, have looked at me thinking "what could you possibly have to be unhappy about?" I know I should be more grateful for the wonderful things I do have in my life. It's just that, the only thing that really matters to me and is important to me is family, especially because I have had a broken one. I have wanted so bad, all my life, to be able to build a family unit that had both parents, was strong and loving - everything I didn't have, or felt I didn't. Other people see only what they value as important - my job, my house, my looks. I'd give it all up for having the family unit i have always wanted. I will never truly be happy without that family piece coming together and realizing that it may never be as I wish is what causes me to want to give up. Why live a life you just don't want. I would completely give up were it not for my child. She is the glimmer of what I wanted. She is sunshine and love - unconditional, undying. It's just hard because I am constantly reminded when I look at her of how I failed her. Her father didn't want me. My most recent ex who was like a father to her since she was a toddler didn't want me. I could not give her what I feel is a whole family. It is hard to continually lose the one thing you want most in the world, and not just for yourself, but for the one person (my child) who you love most in the world as well.

[Eocsor]

A family isn't defined by mother, father and children anymore. A family is what you make it. I have three kids who were 6, 4 and 3 when my ex wife left me for another guy. After a few years I met up with a girl who I thought I'd grow old with and was with her for 14 years, then that ended. But through it all I took the best care I could of my kids. Those kids were loved by me their entire lives, through thick and thin, through good and bad. And they are in their 20's now and doing fine. And we were always a family. Maybe not the traditional one but a family none the less.

 

Your child only cares about being loved, appreciated, and looked after. Sounds like you do all that. You're a family of two. If she knows you love her and have her best interests at heart, thats all that matters.