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You can see my story on previous posts about my situation.

So far its now been 3 months nearly since i last spoke briefly to my ex on the phone*she called me* but yet every month i get a good 2-3 attempts to contact and i didnt even send her a happy birthday text about 2 weeks ago which caused some obvious cause to try talk to me.

But since her birthday ive felt nothing but a growing hatred i see it as atleast, like her attempts to contact me dont do anything but annoy or make want to just break NC and say " * * * * OFF! why do you need me for anything you got your boyfriend" it just angers me more and more im so confused about my feelings for her now its like i still care alot but at the same time why should i care! she clearly only looks out for herself and is selfish and disrespectful in that she cant respect my one wish after our break up for her to leave me alone till "I" see fit to talk to her and im healed.


Its like the little kid that keeps pestering a parent after doing something naughty and expects to have that piece of candy they want if they keep on moaning and whining even though the parent says "you can have it when i say so"(as a punishment) some parents crack under the annoying child to shut it up but then the child learns to use what they just did again and again to get what they desire and then some parents stick by there words and the child learns to not be naughty or they lose out. That in my eyes is my situation in a nutshell shes the kid and im the parent only im far from cracking to shut her up haha

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I think ill be fine i havnt heard from her in 2 weeks now and i think me saying go away or what ever will only make me feel bad and some sort of regret after your typical lashing out and then thinking why did i do that. Im not a angry person or the sort to lash out at people unless its serious im sure she would only feel on top of the world. Dont really wanna go as far as changing my number as she rarely texts me plus ive had the same number since i was 14 im not gonna change it now because of anger haha.

Ive got alot going on in my life now and finally chasing some of my dreams and alot of plans for the rest of the year. Success is the best sort of revenge? Who knows what can happen though i think this anger is just part of my healing process almost the anger i should of felt from start rather than being so pathetic haha

Thanks for the replys guys

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