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Is there something wrong with wanting to be alone?


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For the past month or so, I've been generally avoiding large social interactions with people. Reason? Things aren't going too well in life, I'm feeling down, and so I want to be alone. I find myself either locking myself in my room, or going out and hanging out by myself. Still, when I see my roommates, I'm polite to them, I talk to them if I run into them. I do occasionally meet up with small number of friends, but to a much smaller degree. So I don't think I've done anything drastic...

 

Problem: my behavior is apparently making some people feel as though I'm being passive-aggressive. I don't know what to say to that. All I want is some solitude, but it seems like I'm attracting attention and concern from a few of my friends.

 

I just wanted to hear some advices: Is there something wrong with wanting to be alone? Does it sound like something I need to be concerned about? Also, what's a good way to not attract more attention?

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No, nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. As long as you use that time constructively. Use it to help pull yourself out of your funk and back into being a happier you. If people have a problem with that, just politely say that you're trying a new thing called "focusing on myself."

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Well, in my opinion, it depends on what you do when you're alone. Some people purposely isolate themselves because they are working on self-help projects. That could either be mediation, attitude-improvement, academic/professional projects, or simply emotional/psychological breaks (aka you need to be alone). However, if you're doing it for reasons that could be considered somewhat pathological (e.g.: social-media/drug/alcohol addiction, depression, social phobia, anxiety), then it could be a problem.

Personally, I like to be alone because I like to do "my thing". I don't get depressed or anything so I figure I'm just not a "social" person.

 

I think the best way to not attract attention is just say that you're working on some projects or that you're busy. You can't be forced to hang out if you don't want to but consider the reasons why you're doing it!

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I am introverted. And therefore I am quite happy being alone to my thoughts. I have been alone for most of my life and I kind of like being left alone to my thoughts. I enjoy exploring the depths of my own mind and I don't need to share them with anyone else. It makes me happy and that is all that matters to me.

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I think alone time is fine as long as it doesn't become too all consuming. I'm an introvert too as are most of my friends, but I think it’s good to find a balance. Turning away friends too often will leave them feeling neglected, just remember that if you value any of your relationships make sure to set aside a little time to foster them.

 

I'm just speaking from personal experience, because my close friend has been doing the same, requiring solid weeks of alone time, and it worries me and annoys me even as I try to be understanding. So just be aware of that.

 

But it’s your prerogative; some people are totally cool on their own all the time.

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